Bullying is nothing new. Unfortunately, bullies have been around for a long time. The good news is that you can stop a bully. More importantly, you must understand that bullies suffer from insecurities and low self-esteem. They feel inferior when they pick on someone else who appears to be weak in their eyes. It's not their fault, they may have a dysfunctional home life and are taking out their aggressions on the people closest to them.
Characteristics of a Bully
Both boys and girls can be bullies. Remember that bullies are just insecure. They may be aggressive and outgoing and have an "I don't care attitude." They do their best to manipulate people and situations.
1. Insecure.
2. Show no remorse.
3. Have no empathy or sympathy for others.
4. Do not understand compassion.
5. Highly aggressive.
6. Enjoy intimidating others.
7. Deceptive.
8. Manipulative.
Some bullies may not be able to control or understand their actions because of personality disorders. They may not be skilled in social emotions such compassion, sympathy, understanding, and guilt (healthy guilt). These kids need professional help from counselors, psychologists, and psychiatrists.
To Stop a Bully
Here are some steps you can take to stop a bully.
1. Be confident and look your bully in the eye.
2. Stick with groups (classmates) and or friends.
3. Tell your teacher or another adult. Reporting a bully is NOT a sign of weakness. It could save your life in more ways than one.
4. Ignore the bully and walk away.
5. DO NOT get physical -- it's not worth it!
6. Hold your anger and tongue. Lashing out will only make matters work.
7. Take your power back -- you're in charge of your life! Remember that you CANNOT control the actions of others, but you can control yourself. Take the high road and wish the bully lots of love.
8. Speak about bullying. The more you know is great, but it's what you do about it that really matters.
Stop Bullying
If you're a bully, it's not your fault. Chances are you were probably bullied or are being bullied by parents, siblings, or other teens. You have the power to change your actions. It's up to you!
If you're being bullied, take a stand. Do not do something rash -- tell someone and ask for help! Start to build your confidence, even if you have to fake it. In fact, this is what most adults do -- they fake it until they make it!
Many teens are not taught life skills. This is why they have a hard time in their adulthood. No one took the time to teach them how to cook, clean, do laundry, and other basic living skills. Most often, mommy and daddy did everything for them. Teaching life skills to teens will be invaluable to them and the rest of the world.
Parents who had major responsibility when they were teens vowed they would never do that to their kids. However, this ends up hurting their kids in the long run. Their kids cannot function without mom or dad. Parents will call college professors and ask “why did you give Joe a C+ when he deserved a B?”
Teens who go off to college are lost lambs without their parents. These are the same kids that will run our countries one day. That’s a scary thought. If they cannot pick out an outfit without their mom, how will they be able to make decisions for an entire country?
Top 10 Life Skills
1. Open and balance a checkbook
2. Open a savings account
3. Create and stick to a budget
4. Cooking
5. Laundry
6. Finding a career path
7. Learn a trade if not interested in college
8. Know how to fill out the college or university application
9. Understand financial aid — know how to fill out the forms
10. Learn how to apply for a loan — understand the APR
At the other end of the spectrum are teens that are neglected or do not receive any guidance or direction from their parents. This is unfortunate. These kids often grow up fast and become old before their time.
Many parents like to “live through” their teens. If dad wanted to be the “star quarterback” of the football team, and could not cut it — his son will do it for him. Wrong! Your son may want to play baseball.
Moms are just as bad. Many of them wanted to be “cheerleaders” or “beauty queens.” They push their daughters into these areas even though they want no part of it. Living through your kids is not a good idea. Get your own life or start living your life!
Teaching life skills to teens will help them live a fulfilled, happy life. What if something happens to mom or dad? How will these teens cope? Who will take care of them? These are questions parents ought to be asking themselves. It’s not about you, it’s about your teens and what is best for them.
Life skills for teens are a necessity. Teens will gain independence and become productive citizens. Not only will they will be able to contribute to their community, but they’ll contribute to the entire “global community.” To quote a proverb: “give a man a fish; you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish and you have fed him for a lifetime.” Think about it!
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