It's not a secret that our society is obsessed with looks.  Pick up any magazine and you'll see an image that may be distorted thanks to programs such as Photoshop.  Some of those bodies aren't real but the message they send is:  looks matter, skinny is better, and you should look this way.  Remember, looks can be deceiving.  And, who says that super skin and bones is better?

There's nothing wrong with shedding weight but when you go to extremes such as starvation, that's a problem.  Starving the body isn't a good idea because you could damage internal organs.  And, spending time in the hospital doesn't sound like much fun.

Extreme dieting can kill you

If you yo-yo diet, you could ruin your body from the inside out.  Popping diet pills isn't always the best idea.  You have no idea what's in these pills and some people have become addicted to diet pills or died from taking them.

Exercising 7-days a week (the body needs rest) can do more harm than good, especially if you're exercising with a ton of clothes on and it's hot outside!  It's all right to exercise when it's warm out as long as you're smart about it.  Wear loose fitting clothes and drink plenty of water.  Otherwise, you could wind up in the hospital or the morgue!

Take off weight the right way

You may be a teen girl or boy who wants to lose weight.  This is great but there's a right way and a wrong way to do it.  Talk to your parents and tell them you'd like to release 20 lbs. or more.  Speak to your doctor and find the right nutritional plan for you because diets don't work!  It's best to tackle your weight with the proper guidance instead of doing it alone.

Family support is imperative.  Chances are if you're an overweight teen, your family is overweight.  Obesity is running rampant in the U.S. and is catching up to the rest of the world.  Life's too short to be carrying extra weight around with you.  Extreme dieting is not the answer but eating right and exercising is.

In Part II of Are You a Teen Who's an Extreme Dieter? I'll share my personal experience about extreme dieting.  Perhaps it will help some of you out there who are struggling with your weight.  Remember, you are beautiful, worthy, and deserving of a great life because you are you!

You may not come from a cohesive, loving, gets along every day family but this doesn't mean you can't control your actions.  By now you understand right from wrong.  If you're acting out to get attention, it won't work.  It usually has the opposite affect such as punishment by your parents or worse, being sent to JV or detention home.

Your hormones are raging and you may be pissed off at the world.  Most teens usually go through some sort of teen angst.  Ask your parents about their teenage years.  It could be a way to open up the lines of communication if they've been shut.

It's best to deal with any issues you have today.  Waiting until you become an adult isn't the best solution.  How does carrying emotional baggage around with you for the rest of your life sound to you?  It's like a life sentence!  Many adults who experienced rough teenage years don't get to the root of their issues.  They carry around baggage with them that can go back 20 or more years.  Ouch!  Talk about a heavy load to carry from year-to-year.  This doesn't have to be your fate.

If you're doing stuff that's not good for you or society, you may want to take a step back and ask yourself "why?"  What are you getting out of it?  Who are you making wrong?  Who are you making right?  What's the point of it?  Inner reflection can be good for the soul.

You can't keep blaming your parents.  They're doing the best they can or did they best they could.  It's up to you to change your life for the better.  No one can make you do it.  You have the power to change.  Forget about worrying about your "friends" will say.  True friends wouldn't recommend that you do stuff that puts your life in jeopardy.

Taking responsibility for your actions can be liberating.  It's the first step to cleaning up your act.  It's up to you to realize you deserve the best in life.  Maybe you need to a life coach and or counselor.  Find someone who's willing to listen.  Get it all out of your system and ask help.  You'll be glad you did and you are worth it!

Your family means well but if you come from a dysfunctional background, they could be ruining your mind and life.  Is your family positive or negative?  What kinds of words do they say?  How do they feel about finances and money?  How supportive are they of your dreams?  Think about the words your family speaks and pay close attention to them because there could be a pattern that could be wreaking havoc on your life.

Let's face it; most parents raise their kids based on how they were raised.  It's not their fault.  A dysfunctional cycle repeats itself if no one stops it.  Your parents are just doing what they know.  You have the power to break the cycle once and for all.  Aren't you worth it?

Be careful with your words

There's some truth to the saying "be careful what you wish for."  The words you speak and think do create your life.  Are you always thinking negative thoughts like no one likes me?  Why can't I be smart like my brother?  How come she receives all the good breaks?  Negative thinking and words produces more negativity in your life.

You may not be able to help the way you speak and think because of your toxic environment.  If you're constantly bombarded with negativity it only makes sense that you'll probably be negative.  Unless, you decide today to stop listening!  Think about it, most parents complain that their kids don't listen to them.  This could work in your favor.  If mom and dad are pessimistic about finances and say stuff like, "...there's never enough, money doesn't grow on trees, you have to work hard, or life sucks," refuse to listen.  How do you know that there isn't enough?  How do you know you have to work hard?  There are many people who earn a great living, and they're not working hard!  They may love what they do and put in long hours, but the key point is they LOVE what they do -- it's not work to them.

Note:  I used to think that creating your life by the words you speak and your thoughts was a bunch of hooey, until I took a step back and evaluated my life now and in the past.  I noticed I created the same situations with different people.  This would be fine if I was writing a novel and needed different characters but this is my life.  I have no desire to go through crappy situations again.  I'd rather learn the lesson and move forward with my life.

What are you thinking?

Dr. Phil's famous for asking guests, "...what were you thinking?"  Well, what are you thinking?  Are you constantly thinking icky thoughts?  If you are, you could be creating a life that's filled with misery.  Take a look at your life right now.  How is it?  Do you have happiness and good fortune?  Do you have problems that never seem to end?  The first step is to evaluate your thoughts.  What do you think about every day?  Are they positive or negative thoughts?  Co-creating your life begins with a single thought.  It's not uncommon for you to have 60,000+thoughts per day.  That's a lot going on in your mind!

Give focus thinking a try for one week.  Think about what makes you happy.  Think about what you're grateful for in your life.  If a negative thought pops into your head say, '...thank you for sharing and let it float out of your mind."  You may be surprised at how your life begins to shift.

Remember, you get what you put out into the universe.  You may as think happy/positive thoughts that will create joy versus sucky thoughts that will create doom and gloom.  It's your decision!

You just have to love the adults in your life.  Sometimes when they open their mouths, the most negative words come out.  These words can do more damage than a punch to the stomach.  If you have people in your life that cut you down, just ignore them.

Sometimes the adults in your life don't realize how their words impact you.  Words can damage you for the rest of your life if you allow them to do so.  You have the power to delete the vile words that have been spoken over you.  Begin today so your present and future won't be tainted.

My niece's experience

My niece will be a senior in high school next year.  She's applying to colleges in Ohio and has begun to visit the colleges/universities of her choice.  I'm very supportive of her as are my mom and sister (her mom).   However, my niece's other grandma isn't that supportive.  She told my niece that she wasn't smart enough to get into the college of her dreams and questioned why my niece wanted to go to school far away.  I know the answer to the latter part of the question -- she wants to get away from certain family members.

My niece had a meltdown because her grandma, a family member, cut her and her dream down.  I immediately emailed my niece after I heard this.  Needless to say, I was absolutely livid and wanted to give the other grandma a piece of my mind.  After I calmed down, I realized that some people are still "asleep" and don't realize the power and impact of their words. 

I coached my niece and suggested she visualize herself at the college of her choice.  I gave her some affirmations to say so she could override and delete the words of the other grandma.  My niece is smart enough not to listen to this side of the family, but I wanted to ensure that she cleared out this negativity.

You are smart enough

If you have a strong desire to study a certain field or begin your own business, allow no one, not even family members to stop you.  When they say stuff like, "...you're not smart enough, you won't succeed, you'll never reach your goals, or there's no way you can do it," look at them and say, "....thank you for sharing."  Walk or run away from these people as fast as you can.  It's unfortunate, but you may have to limit the amount of time you spend with these people until you feel strong enough to be around them.

You create your life

What you can believe you can achieve is what Napoleon Hill said.  You have the power to live the life you want to now and in the future.  Limit the amount of time you spend around negative people.  In fact, it would be best if you stay away from these people all together.  Sometimes it's not easy to do because they're usually family members.  You can always excuse yourself and go to the bathroom or for a walk.  Clear you mind and picture yourself surrounded by a white light of protection.  Take a deep breath and realize that your family members are doing the best they can -- they're just asleep in their lives.

The next time someone tries to squash your dreams just ignore them.  Send them lots of love because they don't know what they're doing.  It's your life and you can be, do, and have anything you want.  You'll be required to take "inspired action."  When you do you'll create a beautiful life for you and that's what matters most!

Okay, you know  the saying "no more pencils, no more books, no more teachers dirty looks," although some of you may have given your teachers cause to give you a "dirty" or disappointed look! 

What are you going to do for the summer?  Will you hang around the house and do nothing?  Will you antagonize your younger sibling(s)?  Maybe you'll hang out at the recreation center and swim all day long.  Whatever you do, make sure it's a productive and fun summer.

There's no excuse not to keep your mind sharp just because you don't have homework.  Read a couple of books to keep your mind engaged.  This way you'll be prepared when you go back in the fall.

You could play baseball or softball.  These two sports are big in the summer.  Being part of a team will be good for you.  You'll learn leadership skills, how to work together to achieve a common goal, and discipline.  Plus, it's a great way to stay in shape.

What to do over summer break

  1.  Volunteer at your favorite not-for-profit organization.
  2.  Read a couple of books.
  3.  Get a part-time job or start your own small business.
  4.  Join sports.
  5.  Go to camp.
  6.  Go to camp and become a camp counselor.
  7.  Create art.
  8.  Write.
  9.  Travel with the family or be an exchange student.
10.  Clean out the garage and or basement for your parents.
11.  Have a garage sale.
12.  Get in shape.
13.  Pickup litter around your neighborhood.

There's a lot you can do over the summer.  Lounging around the house and playing videos is one option but you may already do this.  Get off your butt and find something constructive to do such as take a few classes at your local recreation center.  Volunteer and give of your time.  Create a fundraiser for your favorite charity and donate the money.

You can do a lot over the summer.  It's your break from school, but you don't have to waste all of the time.  Help out more around the house or start looking at colleges and universities.  Put your "thinking cap" on and do something productive right now!

Many teens will be graduating either from the 8th or 12th grade.  Eighth graders will be moving onto the 9th grade which means high school.  This can be scary!  High school seniors are graduating from the security of high school and into the "real world" which can be scarier than being a freshman in high school!  Graduation day doesn't have to be scary; it's a matter of perception.

Graduating from the eighth grade is exciting because you're no longer in junior or middle school (depending on your part of the world) but moving onto high school.  Some teens are afraid of not being accepted because they were a "big fish in a small pond" and now they'll be a "small fish in a big pond."  Some may be afraid because they'll be around junior and senior teens that can be intimidating, especially if you're still growing!  Remember these teens were once in your shoes -- everyone was once a freshman.

Tips for 9th Grade

1.  Remember, everyone was once a freshman.
2.  Look at it as a new beginning to be who you really want to be.
3.  Forget about getting caught up in any "drama" because it will drain your energy.
4.  Immerse yourself in activities that bring you joy.

Tips for High School Seniors

1.  Take a gap year to explore the world before you go to college or university.
2.  Realize that your dreams will change over time so avoid putting pressure on yourself to choose the "right" career.
3.  Reflect on the past four years and see how you changed and how much more you can grow.

High school seniors will leave the comfort and familiarity of high school.  Perhaps you were king or queen of the school but that's about to change because you're going off to college as a freshman.  Yep!  You get to be a freshman all over again, except this time it will be a little different. 

When you go to college, you'll no longer have "status" on compass.  This can be scary.  First, you're at college to learn not to compete in popularity contests.  Second, you could become popular (if that's important to you) all over again.  Finally, your college professors won't hold your hand.  If your work isn't turned in on time -- you'll face the consequences.

Perhaps after high school you'll take a "gap year" to explore the world.  Students in the UK and other countries do this.  They put off college for one year to explore and find out what they really want out of college.  This is a fabulous idea because you may find out that you have no desire to go to college.  Maybe you'll start a business or learn a trade.  It's up to you.

Graduation means you've completed another chapter or book in your life and ready for the next adventure.  Live life to the fullest and pursue your dreams.  Allow no one to tell you what career, business, or profession to pursue.  Experience everything that life has to offer and enjoy the ride!

According to Gayle Kimball, Ph.D, author of The Teen Trip, "44% of all school-age children with employed parents are latchkey kids (refers to wearing a key around their neck to let themselves into their home)."  It's a fact that both parents work today.  Some work two and three jobs to make ends meet.  If you're a latchkey kid, remember your parents are doing their best to put food on the table, keep a roof over the family's head, and clothes on everyone's back. 

Some teens may not feel comfortable being home alone.  You may feel scared or very alone because you're not allowed to go outside when your parents aren't home.  Maybe you have older siblings who boss you around because they're bigger than you. 

It may suck to be home by yourself but you have options.  Instead of going home, maybe you can go to a youth center or library.  This way you'll be surrounded by people and feel more secure.  Maybe you can call a friend or hotline like PhoneFriend where you can speak to someone while your parents are gone.  It could help pass the time after you've finished your homework.

Some teens may find being at home without any parents liberating.  It gives them a chance to find their independence and to get a taste of what it's like to be on their own.  If they have siblings, it gives them a chance to develop and exercise their diplomatic, negotiation, and conflict resolution skills!

Being a latchkey kid doesn't give you a free pass to do whatever you want.  It doesn't mean you can have friends over and party!  Your parents will eventually find out what you've been up to and you'll face the consequences for your actions.  Think about that before you tell everyone your parents are not home.

As a latchkey kid you may develop resentment towards your parents.  Remember they're responsible for taking care of you and are doing the best they can.  Take it easy on them and do your part to help out.  Complete your homework, watch your younger siblings or listen to your older ones, help with chores, and be the best you can be!

Personal Experience:  I used to be a "latchkey kid" when I was growing up in the 1980s.  Both my parents worked and my older sister started working when she was 16-years-old (there's a 6 year gap between us).  I'd walk home from school or from the bus and let myself into the house.  Sometimes my sister was at home, but we didn't get along.  When she turned 16-years-old, she got a part-time job.  After that, it was me and the dog. 

When I was older I'd fix my own dinner which meant heating up what my mom cooked the night before on the stove or in the microwave.  I had to do my homework and whatever chores I had.  As a teen, I thought this arrangement sucked big time.  I resented my mom for some time because she wasn't at home when I got home from school like some of the other kids moms.

As an adult, I can see how being a latchkey kid  shaped my character, made me a strong person, and developed my independence.  It's amazing how you can find the gifts in the places you think are the darkest.

Links

PhoneFriend (check your area for the local number)

You probably don't think about your teachers that much.  Some of you may consider them to be a pain in the butt because they give you homework or push you to do better.  Did you realize that your teachers do more than teach?  They wear many hats such as teacher, counselor, coach, act like a surrogate mom or dad, and tutor in addition to other roles they play.  And, they're definitely not paid a salary that covers these other roles!

The next time you're inclined to give your teacher a hard time, remember they're doing their job which is to teach and prepare you for college and adult life.  If I were you, I'd enjoy the teen years for as long as you can because once you turn 18, it will be a different "game" for some of you.  You'll be off to college without mom and dad and on your own.  If you think your professors and instructors will "coddle" or "buy" your excuses why your assignments aren't complete, you're in for a rude awakening.  They're going to pass or fail you -- it's that simple.

Respect is a two way street.  You must first respect yourself before anyone else will respect you.  If you have teachers that give you a hard time, ask yourself "why?"  It could be that you don't respect yourself enough for someone to show you respect.  Demanding and commanding respect is two different concepts.  When you demand respect, it's like stomping your foot like a child and throwing a temper tantrum.  When you command respect, you hold your head high and walk into a room with your shoulders back.  You're groomed and look good.  You exude confidence which makes people notice you.

Teachers are doing the best they can.  They're usually given limited amounts of funds and end up purchasing supplies with their own money.  And you wonder why school levies don't pass.  It's not that people don't want to support local schools, they do.  It has to do with bureaucrats who mismanage funds.  This means teens suffer for it in the long run.

Make your teachers life easy and pay attention in class.  Forget about being the tough guy or girl.  Forget about being the comedian because people can see right through that.  If you're acting out that means there's something beneath the surface that needs to be addressed.  You aren't fooling anyone.  Do your best in school because it's the foundation you'll need to succeed in life!  So...the next time you walk into class, say "hello" to your teacher and be sincere about it.  Who knows, you could make their day!