Well known comedian Steve Harvey wrote the book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man.  In fact, I recommend that teen girls read this book which can prepare you for dating now and in the future! 

Steve tells a story how he worked for the Ford Motor Company in Cleveland, Ohio.  He had a 90-day probation period.  This meant that he didn't receive benefits such as health insurance until he passed the 90-day probation time.  He tells how the company wanted to make sure that he'd do a good job before they handed him everything.  Steve takes this 90-day probation period and applies it to dating but it can also be applied to your life.  You can change your life around in 90-days if you really want to do so.  It will take work on your part but it will be worth it in the end.

90-Days to a Happier Teen

Say a prayer of gratitude before you get out of bed.  It can be anything from "thank for a good night's sleep to thank you for the roof over my head to thank you for the breath in my lungs."  Expect to have a good day.  Say something like "I expect to have a great day or I'll have a good day today."  Setup your day in a positive manner.

When you look in the mirror, before you brush your teeth and floss, tell yourself that you love you!  Look into your eyes and say "I love you" and mean it.  Loving yourself is the best gift your can give to yourself.  When you truly love yourself the world will know it.

Stop trying to be someone else -- just be you.  There's no one else in the world that's like you.  Instead of trying to be like the popular guys or girls, embrace who you are as a person.  Learn to love you for you!

Give thanks and embrace your talents.  If you're good at playing the guitar, sports, painting, drawing, science, design, math, English, dancing, writing, or whatever you talents are embrace them with gusto.  Allow no one to speak down to you about your talents.  They could be jealous and wish they had your talents.  That's their problem and not yours.  Don't give up your talents or dim your light because other people may put off by it.  You'll only hurt yourself and the world by not shining brightly.

Think about your life and if you're happy with it.  Feel the anger, pain, and other emotions you may be feeling.  Get it all out of your system -- hold nothing back.  Exercise, paint, draw, meditate, write, dance, design, or whatever will help your process your emotions.  Work through them because you'll feel better.

Stay tuned for more on 90-Days to a Happier Teen!

On the July 1, 2010 episode of Dr. Phil, a mother who's an alcoholic was on the show along with her teenage daughter.   The mother also brought her friend for support.  The daughter believed her mother's alcoholism was her fault.  Her mom was under stress and she believed that she was responsible for the stress, therefore, causing her mom to drink 15 beers or more per day.  Take note:  it wasn't the daughter's fault.  The mother was capable of making her own decisions.  No one held a gun to her head and told her she had to drink beer every day.

Dr. Phil reached out to the mom and offered her help via a rehab facility in Texas.  The catch was the mom had to leave right after to show in order to receive treatment.  There was no going back home because that would provide temptation to stay and do nothing.  The mom took the offer.

Why do teens believe alcoholism is their fault?

Speak to any psychologist and they'll tell you that children internalize everything.  This is why the teenage girl thought her mom's drinking was her fault.  She heard and listened to her mom's complaints of being stressed.  The daughter internalized it as her fault because if the mom didn't have to take care of her and the home, she wouldn't be stressed.  It gets worse -- the girl thought her mom would die from drinking and it would be her fault.  It wouldn't be her fault; it would be the mother's fault because she continued on a self-destructive path.

It's not your fault

It's not your fault if your mom or dad is an alcoholic.  Chances are they're pissed off because their life didn't turn out the way they thought it would.  They're mad at the world because people around them are receiving the breaks they feel should go to them.  Again, it's not your fault.  Your mom or dad chose to drink, whether consciously or unconsciously; it's their life.

The embarrassment of alcoholism

The girl on the Dr. Phil episode was embarrassed by her mother's drinking.  She couldn't have friends over the house.  You could hear the pain in her voice when she spoke about her mom's drinking problem.

When the mom would take her to soccer practice and games, she'd make a fool out of herself and embarrass her daughter.  Yes, sometimes the mom drove under the influence.  She eventually received a D.U.I. (driving under the influence).

Solution

Being a teenager is awkward enough.  The teen years can become unbearable when you add an alcoholic mom or dad to the mix.  You may feel alone most of the time but help is available.  Organizations such as Alateen and Al-Anon can help you understand alcoholism. 

Have compassion and forgiveness for your mom or dad.  They're doing the best they can.  Forgiving them doesn't mean that what they've done to you is all right.  It's a way to release you from the situation.  Remember, it's not your fault!

This is Part II of Are You a Teen Who's an Extreme Dieter?  Many teens face issues with their weight but extreme dieting isn't the answer.  You may feel desperate for a solution but starving yourself or popping pills isn't the answer.  I'm speaking from experience. 

Before you embark on your weight loss journey, make sure you know why you want to lose the weight and how the weight piled onto your body.  Two to one it has nothing to do with food but the fact you're stuffing your emotions for various reasons.  Get to the root of the issue so you can be free from it once and for all!

Personal note on extreme dieting

I struggled with my weight as a kid and teenager.  I weighed 220 lbs. when I entered the 9th grade.  It was a miserable time for me.  Not only was I picked on by kids in my high school, certain family members picked on me as well.  This was much worse.  I mean, you're supposed to be able to count on your family.  I found out that's not always the case.

Anyway, I did some extreme dieting.  At the end of my sophomore year of high school I decided to do something about my weight.  I bought a workout outfit and began to workout 7-days a week.  I cut out junk food such as chips, hot dogs, candy, ice cream, fast food, and other unhealthy foods.  I asked my mom to buy me salad and fruit which is what I ate for the entire summer.  I also took diet pills.  I used my sister's rowing machine that was collected dust in the basement.  Fast forward to the beginning year of junior high, and I was 40 pounds lighter.  I still had more weight to drop, and I still got picked on but not as much.  Eventually, the kids stopped picking on me.

I continued to work on dropping weight.  I cut my calories to 500 per day and continued to workout 7-days a week.  I also dabbled with bulimia.  This is where you eat a lot of food then throw it up.  Except, I wasn't eating a lot of food -- I would throw up the 500 calories that I ate.  I called myself "a bulimic with an anorexic twist since I worked out 7-days a week.  I reached my goal weight of 120 lbs.  I felt better and looked good but I was ruining the inside of my body.  And, family members who picked on me for being fat now wondered why I was such a picky eater -- go figure!

The bottom line is that if you want to lose weight get to the "root" of the issue.  I lost 100 lbs. only to gain 60 lbs. of it back.  How did this happen?  I didn't work on the inside.  If you don't like who are or have low self-esteem, it won't matter if you lose the weight.  It will creep back on one pound at a time.  Get down and dirty to figure out "why" you carry the weight.

The good news is that I took of the 60 lbs. and then some because I realized that I had a lot "demons" to deal with it, most of which stemmed from my dysfunctional childhood.  That's not a shocker.  Most families are dysfunctional.  The bottom line is that I like the way I look, and I don't care what other people think.  One hundred fifteen to one hundred twenty pounds is comfortable for me.  I like the way I look and that's what matters most!