Many teens are coming out of the closet earlier than other generations.  Today, it's easier to come out compared to 20 to 30 years ago.  Society is somewhat more accepting of gays and lesbians, but society is not perfect.  Most people shun or condemn gay and lesbian teens.  Unfortunately, parents can find it difficult to accept that their teenage son or daughter is gay or lesbian.

The American Psychological Association defines sexual orientation as such: Sexual orientation is an enduring emotional, romantic, sexual, or affectional attraction that a person feels toward another person. Sexual orientation falls along a continuum. In other words, someone does not have to be exclusively homosexual or heterosexual, but can feel varying degrees of attraction for both genders. Sexual orientation develops across a person's lifetime—different people realize at different points in their lives that they are heterosexual, gay, lesbian, or bisexual.

The teenage years are known as the exploration years.  You're trying to figure out who you are and that includes your sexuality.  You may have thoughts or feelings about the same sex.  Does this make you gay or lesbian?  What does it mean to be gay or lesbian?  It's believed that you are born gay or lesbian.  However, some people believe that you choose your sexuality.  Science has proven to a certain degree that people are born gay or lesbian; it's not a choice.

PFLAG

Teens, the good news is that you don't have to face coming out of the closet alone.  Visit PFLAG:  Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays which is "a national non-profit organization with over 200,000 members and supporters and over 500 affiliates in the United States.  This vast grassroots network is cultivated, resourced and serviced by the PFLAG national office, located in Washington, D.C., the national Board of Directors and 13 Regional Directors."

Teens, you and your family could find a local chapter of PFLAG in your area.  Joining a group with like-minded people is the best way to get the support you need when you come out or if you'd like to come out to family and friends.

How do you tell your parents you're gay or lesbian

Coming out to your parents can be very scary because you don't know how they'll react or you may have an "inner knowing" how they will react.  Cut your parents some slack.  Telling them that you're gay or lesbian will be difficult for some parents to digest.  After all, in their eyes, you're still their little boy or girl who used to run around the yard and play in the sandbox.  It may take them time before they embrace your sexuality.

You may want to have a friend, counselor, or therapist by your side when you come out to your parents.  It will take a lot of courage for you to tell your parents that you are gay or lesbian.  Having someone by your side that supports you can make it easier for you tell your parents your news.

Just be you

As long as you're comfortable with who you are that's all that matters.  Live your life for you and no one else.  Parents, family members, and friends may not accept or be able to handle your sexuality -- that's their problem!  As long as you're happy and comfortable in your own skin, you'll be fine...










 

Teens face many issues today such as peer pressure to drink or do drugs, have a body image that doesn't fit them, getting perfect grades, and following a faith that may resonate with them.  Teenagers may be pressured into disrespecting another teen's religion from their friends.  Everyone has a right to practice their religion; at least in the U.S. they do.

Religious diversity is important.  Who says that your religion is the best?  If it was, the world wouldn't have all the problems it has today.  This is something for you to think about before you bully someone because they practice a different faith.  Ask questions, search online, go to the library, and get the facts before you condemn someone.

Unfortunately, some teens can be cruel.  Remember, most people have a fear of the unknown.  A teen who wears a special garment that is part of their faith is susceptible to bullying by those who do not understand the religion.  No one deserves to be bullied because of their religion.  It's ignorant to pick on someone because they are different.  Instead, get to know the teen.  Who knows, you may become friends!

Every teen has the right to practice whatever faith they want.  On the flip side, teens have the right not to believe in any religion.  If you're an Atheist, embrace it.  Who's to say that you're right or wrong?  You can believe whatever you want to believe.

Teens, embrace religious diversity.  Many people, including your parents, will push their religion onto you.  When you're little you don't know any better.  However, when you get older, know that it's all right to question your family's religion.  Hopefully, you have parents that will allow you to choose your own religion.  If not, do it anyway and do not tell them!

It's well known that teens become pregnant as early 12 or 14.  Is a teen ready to have sex that young?  My opinion is that teens are not emotionally mature enough to have or understand a sexual relationship.  Hell, most adults struggle to understand what a mature, emotional relationship is.  Add sex to that mix and you can have the makings of relationship disaster!  Being a teen parent will be filled with many challenges.  You will benefit from knowing what you'll be up against.

Understanding your situation

Coping as teen parent can be very difficult.  You may face ridicule at school, your parents may disown you, relatives maybe cold towards you, and your boyfriend could leave you.  All of this sounds super scary, but it could happen.

As a teen parent you must understand that you will face challenges such as keeping up with your school work and taking care of your baby or babies!  That's a lot of work!  Teens who decide to keep their baby must realize that life as they knew it is over and a new beginning will emerge.

Tip:  Avoid getting pregnant in the first place!

Teen parents must realize that it's not about you anymore.  It's about raising your son or daughter in healthy, positive environment and doing your best to keep up with your school work so you graduate.  The road ahead may seem long, winding, and bumpy.  Come to terms with it as best as you can.

Ask for assistance and about your rights

Parents of pregnant teens can assist their teens by being supportive.  What's done is done.  No amount of yelling, screaming, and lecturing will change the situation.  Keep the lines of communication open.  Your teen will need help with their pregnancy on an emotional, mental, physical, and financial level.

Tip:  Avoid getting pregnant in the first place!

Teens can seek government assistance for their pregnancy.  There are programs such as WIC which will provide you and your child with formula and food.  Of course, you are entitled to help from the father.  If that doesn't happen, your parents could provide you and your child with support.

Adoption is an alternative for teens.  You can give your baby to a loving couple who is ready both emotionally and financially to have a child.  Some adoptions are open so you can have somewhat of an active role in your child's life.  This is something to discuss with your parents and the father of your baby.

Teen parents get help

Teen parents feel unsupported as they deal with their pregnancy.  There is so much to think about such as the demands of a new baby to graduating from high school.  The good news is that you don't have to go it alone.  There are support groups that you can join or even attend schools for pregnant teens.  Check your local listings for groups in your area.

Parents usually go into shock when they hear that their "baby" is about to have a baby.  They usually blame themselves because they want a better life for their daughter or son.  It's best to accept and deal with the situation versus going into denial or playing the "blame game" because it will not improve the situation.

Being a teen parent is not easy.  You are a "baby" having a baby.  Recognize that you have options such as keeping your baby, giving your baby up for adoption, or abortion.  Think very carefully about your situation because once you make a decision, you may not be able to change your mind.  Take your time and ask for help no matter how difficult it seems.  Peace!

Teens argue with their parents.  It's a fact of life.  You'll argue about your hairstyle, clothes, college choice, curfew, driving, career choice, and that tattoo you'd like to get.  It may seem that you argue about everything, even if it seems petty.  The key to arguing is to argue fairly and respectfully.  Argue when it's needed.  Your relationship with your parents will be better for it.

Teens Argue Fairly

Arguments occur between teens and parent because both parties believe they know what's best.  Parents have been parenting forever, but they've parenting based on how they were raised.  This doesn't necessarily mean they are right.  On the flip side, teens don't know everything there is to know about life.  They are being taken care of by their parents who are doing the best they can.

Teens, your parents love you and want the best for you.  Actually, they want you to have a better life than they had or have.  If you feel you must argue do it fairly by:

1.  Allowing each person to speak his or her mind.

2.  Avoiding interrupting others when they are speaking.

3.  Dealing with the people who are involved in the argument.  Do not bring in others so they can support you when the argument has nothing to do with them.

4.  Leaving past hurts or issues in the past.  Stick to the topic.

5.  Suggesting a win-win situation.  Compromises don't work because this means someone loses.  Show your parents that you've thought things through and you're trying to sort things out for yourself.

Argue Respectfully

Teens, no matter how things get between you and your parents, be respectful.  There's nothing worse than being disrespectful.  This may be difficult when you're facing babysitting your little brother or sister or painting the living room which you think you shouldn't have to do.  Give your parents respect because they deserve it and so do you.  Be respectful by:

1.  Keeping cool and calm.  Speak in a low voice and avoid shouting!

2.  Sitting still because standing and clenching your fists will not help.

3.  Avoiding kicking, hitting, punching, or throwing.

4.  Explaining your reasons and opinions, making a case for your issue.

5.  Staying and speaking with your parents until the issue is resolved.  Getting up and stomping to your room and slamming the door will not help your case.  It's a sign of immaturity.

Teens Argue Only When Needed

Teens, learn to pick your battles wisely.  Is it really necessary to argue about babysitting your brother or sister?  Your parents may pay you for watching your sibling.  You blow the chance to earn $20!  Reserve arguments for issues you feel passionately about, and engage your parents only if you see no other way to make your point.

Avoid crossing the line between discussions and arguments.  Discussing issues with your parents will make them take you more seriously.  Arguing does not solve anything.  In fact, it can do harm to your body.  You're engaging in negative activity which is not good for your immune system.  This has been proven in the medical field. 

The teenage years are filled with trials and tribulations.  Arguing with parents is a way for teens to express their feelings, set their boundaries, gain respect, show maturity, and make it known that they deserve respect just like their parents.

Teens who respect and argue fairly will maintain their relationship with their parents.  However, before you begin an argument, decide if you want to be a mature or immature teen.  How far are you willing to take the argument?  How can you come up with a win-win situation?  You may get lucky and avoid an argument because your parents will see how mature you're being about the issue.  Good luck!
 

Teenage girls usually have poor body images.  However, teenage boys are not immune to this either.  You are bombarded with magazine images of models and celebrities looking flawless.  Hold it!  There's a wonderful program called Adobe Photoshop that allows you to enhance or change photos.  As I a graphic designer, I use this program a lot.  I'm sorry to break it to you, but your favorite model or celebrity probably has cellulite!

Teens deal with body image on a daily basis.  You go to school where you may be picked on for your weight or not wearing the latest fashions.  Where do teens learn such manners?  They learn them from television, their parents, and other teens.  Remember, picking on someone is just a "mirror reflection" of how you really feel.

Tips for a healthy body image

1.  Be grateful for the body that you do have.  Perhaps you need to release some weight.  How are your arms and legs?  Do they work?  If they do then you're already half way there.  Put down the video game and go for a walk.  Ask a friend, sibling, or parent to go with you.

2.  Pay no attention to glossy magazine ads.  Two words for you:  Adobe Photoshop.  No one has absolutely flawless skin.  The way you get completely flawless skin is to take a picture of you into Photoshop and touch it up!  Makeup and knowing how to dress for your body can make the world of difference.  The next time you go shopping, ask the salesperson to help you dress your body.  Ask for makeup tips.  Doing these little things can boost your self-image.

3.  Forgive those who tease you.  You may be teased by others, but they don't know what they're doing.  They probably learned this behavior from someone or have been teased.  Take a stand and let people know that it's not all right for them to treat you that way.  This will take courage to do.  Good for you for standing up for yourself.  Once you confront the other teens, you will feel much better.  You may want to have the support of a friend when you do this.

4.  Not "every body" is the same shape and size.  If everyone on planet Earth looked the same, it would be a very boring place.  Not everyone will be 6 ft. or 5 ft.  Not everyone has blue eyes and blond hair.  Not everyone will be a "skinny mini."  Unhappy with your hair color, change it.  Want to see what you look like with brown eyes, get contacts.  Remember, it is what's on the inside that counts.  You can be drop dead gorgeous and have a personality that sucks.  No one will want to hang around you!

5.  Be glad to be you.  There's no one on Earth that is exactly like you.  Celebrate that!  All teens are unique and special.

Body image affects many teen girls and boys.  Give thanks for the body that you do you have.  Some teenage boys and girls cannot walk on their own.  Some have been burned all over their body or much worse.  These girls and boys are thankful for what they have.  Be grateful for the body you have, you are beautiful because you are you!

Many teens experience conflicts with their sibling.  Your brother or sister may seem like a P.I.A. now, but when they leave for college, you'll be wishing they were still in the house.

It's normal for siblings to clash once in awhile.  It makes no difference if you are two or five years apart, you're going to experience some conflict from time to time.  This is a normal part of growing up because you are expressing your feelings and setting your boundaries.

Sibling conflicts are not normal if mom and dad pit one teen against another.  Unfortunately, this does happen.  It's not your fault.  Some parents raise their children based on how they were raised.  This means if they were pitted against their sibling, the pattern will be repeated when they have children.  For example, they may have had a brother who was a straight-A student and athlete.  Naturally they expect both teens to get straight-A's and to be athletic.  This is unrealistic because children are different.  Just because you share the same DNA doesn't mean you will have the same talents.

Tips and tricks to handling sibling conflict

1.  Love you for who you are.  You are special and unique just the way you are.  There's no reason for you to be like your sister.  She may be artistic, but you may be great at science.  There's no right or wrong way to be.

2.  Explain to your parents that you are not like your sibling.  You may have an academic streak and your brother may be the athlete, there's nothing wrong with that.  However, your parents may expect you and your brother to be the same.  Sit your parents down and tell them how you feel.  Make it known that you're not interested in sports and have no desire to be the high school quarterback.  If they can't understand that, it's their problem.  You must live your life for you and no one else.  Remember, your parents are not going to live forever.  It's a fact.  The sooner you begin to live for yourself the better!

3.  Twins can be individuals.  You may share the same DNA and look alike, but you probably have different tastes.  There's no reason to dress alike, unless you want to do so.  If you have fashion styles, you can avoid conflict all together.   Then again, your sister may give you her opinion on your fashion sense.  Thank her sharing and remind her that it's your life.  You can wear (within reason) whatever you like.  That includes a shocking pink top!

4.  Agree to disagree.  Instead of getting into fights, agree to disagree.  Everyone is entitled to their opinion.  In fact, opinions are the cheapest commodities because everyone has them.  Whenever you feel your blood start to boil, take a deep breath, count to 10, and let the conflict go.  It's not worth getting upset or your time.  Besides, as you grow older, you'll probably look back and think, "...why did I make such a big deal about that?"

5.  Be yourself.  Just be you no matter what.  It's not your job to make other people understand you.  There's a great saying which is, "...what other people think about me is none of my business."  So your brother's friends think you're a dork.  Who cares?  At least you'll graduate on time and probably with honors.

Sibling conflicts can be avoided through communication.  Ask your parents to call a family meeting where you and your siblings get to vent your frustrations and aggravations.  Getting everything out in the open is best.  This way you don't stuff your feelings and avoid feeling resentment toward your sibling.  And remember, you're teens.  There's bound to be some "drama rama" between your and your siblings.  Learn to communicate your feelings in a safe and harmonious way.  This will serve you now and in your adulthood.  Now go and give your brother or sister a hug!