Teens often experience bullying at school, but they also experience it online.  This is known as cyberbullying.  In fact, some teens have committed suicide because of the bullying they received over the internet.  FYI:  bullying is not cool, and the person doing the bullying is usually insecure which is why they feel the need to pick on someone else.

What is cyberbullying?  It's when a teens use technologies such as the internet or cell phones (text messaging) to continually embarrass, threaten, harass, or harm others.  Cyberbullying ranges from offensive emails to postings on social networks to spreading rumors in a chat room.  FYI:  The information you put on the internet can be found by anyone.  This includes college recruiters.  If you plan to go to college chances are you can kiss your acceptance goodbye!

A cyberbully remains anonymous.  Hiding behind technology such as a computer is easier than facing another person.  This is why most social media networks have taken off.  You get to remain anonymous. 

Cyberbullying is no laughing matter.  Some teens have committed suicide because of the harassment they received at the hands of another.  In fact, some criminal charges have been filed against some of the cyberbullies.  Think about this before you attack, embarrass, or threaten another teen because you could find yourself doing time in jail!

Treat others how you'd like to be treated.  Would you harass or pick on yourself?  What would make you pick on another teen?  Is it a sense of power?  Actually, bullying someone else is a weakness.  When you bully another, you're really bullying yourself.  You're insecure and have deep issues that need resolving.  Find an outlet for your pain and anger.  Cyberbullying is not the answer!

Links
STOP cyberbullying
National Crime Prevention Council
National Center for Missing and Exploited Children

Every 18 seconds someone is abused.  Teens dealing with domestic violence get help.  No one has the right to abuse you, not even your parents.  It may be scary to tell someone about what is going on at home, but the sooner you do the better.

Domestic violence happens for numerous reasons.  Sometimes parents were abused as children.  If they don't receive counseling or deal with the abuse, they're more than likely to be abusers.  Remember, nine times out of ten, parents raise their children based on they were raised. 

Teens, you don't have to deal with domestic violence on your own.  Tell your grandparents, teacher, guidance counselor, minister, or whomever you trust.  Get help today so tomorrow you can live a better life.

Domestic Violence can happen anywhere, at any time.  It does not discriminate.  If you're in a domestic violence situation, get help today.  Call the Domestic Violence hotline at 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) or 1.800.787.3224 (TTY).

Why does domestic violence occur?  Some parents can't handle the pressures of life and they snap.  Others were abused as children or witnessed their mom or dad being abused.  It's a vicious cycle that will repeat itself if it's not dealt with in the proper manner.

Teens if you're involved in a domestic violence situation get help today because your life depends on it.  No one deserves to be in this situation.  Remember that it's NOT your fault.  Have the courage to speak up and don't lie about your situation because that will make matters worse.  Get the support you need so you can live a happy and healthy life now and in the future.

Teens when you say NO it means no.  Don't allow another person to pressure you into  something you're not comfortable doing.  Avoid following PEER PRESSURE such as, "...if you're my friend, you'll help me; if you love me, you'll have sex with me; if you want me to be happy, you'll go along with my plan."  These are bully tactics -- don't fall for them!

Unfortunately, life is not always easy.  Sometimes we're put into situations that are uncomfortable but they're necessary for us to grow as a person.  Yes, this sucks big time, but it's how we learn!

If you're feeling pressured to have sex, say no and mean it.  Please don't fall for the B.S. lines such as, "if you love me, you'll do it; everyone's doing it; you're not normal if you don't want to do it; these pressure tactics are based on the other person's fear and insecurity.  If someone REALLY and TRULY loves you, they will not pressure you into doing something you're not comfortable doing.

Disclaimer:  You may have to "suck it up" and go to your grandparents.  However, make sure you voice your opinion why you don't want to go.  Just don't say, "...no, I don't want to go."  You'll still have to get into the SUV, but you'll feel great because you spoke up for yourself.

Set your boundaries today because they'll serve you later in life.  Never give your power away to another.  If you don't want to try out for the baseball team, tell your parents you have no desire to play baseball.  Respect your parents, but don't let them push you into extracurricular activities that you don't want to do.  It's your life not theirs!

Saying no and meaning it will not come easy for some teens because you may have the "care giver archetype."  There's nothing wrong with this as long as you're coming from the healthy side of it.  If you're prone to martyrdom and enabling behaviors, you'll feel the negative side of this archetype.  Remember that everything has a positive and a negative.

It's liberating to say no.  Stand your ground.  Don't allow someone to force you to do something you don't want to do.  You have every right to say no, especially if you may get into trouble.  If your friends respect you and really are your friends, they will not ask you to put yourself in harm's way.  Think about that before you agree to do something that doesn't feel right or is wrong in the "eyes of the law" or according to your values systems.

Cliques are nothing new.  No matter if you're in elementary, junior, or high school, you'll find cliques.  What is a clique?  A clique "is an exclusive group of people who share interests, views, purposes, patterns of behavior, or ethnicity.  Membership in a clique is often, but not necessarily, exclusive, and qualifications for membership may be social or essential to the nature of the clique" (retrieved from Wikipedia on March 9, 2010).

Sometimes cliques can make you feel like crap.  That's just how it is.  You may think that something's wrong with you if you're not part of a clique.  There's nothing wrong with you.  Besides, would you really want to be part of a group that excludes people?  How much fun is that?  What if the teens in the clique are rude or mean to their fellow peers?  How bad do you want that reputation?  Being part of a clique is not what it's cracked up to be.

Most cliques thing they're so important that they can't be bothered with certain people.  These teens need to get over themselves.  When you apply for a job, the hiring manager will not care if you were part of a clique in high school. 

How to handle cliques

1.  Ignore them.  They may dress in clothes from Abercrombie and Fitch, Jimmy Choo, The Buckle, or whatever store is popular.  Who cares!  The clothes are made in other countries for dollars.  They're shipped to the U.S. and slapped with a significant markup.  Jeans with a price tag of $250 jeans were probably made for $2.00 in another country.  That's a brief "economics" lesson for you!  Remember that the next time you go shopping or you overhear someone bragging about their new pair of $250 jeans!

2.  Stand your ground.  Cliques sometimes like to intimidate their fellow teens.  Don't think about it or give it attention.  Stand up for yourself when it's warranted, but consider the source when someone harasses you.  Most people who bully or harass others are insecure.

3.  Go with the flow.  Cliques are nothing new.  If you really want to be part of a clique, ask yourself "why" you want to be part of the group.  What's so great about them?  What do you admire about them?  You may change your mind after you answer these and other questions.

4.  Don't get down on yourself if you're not accepted into a clique.  Being in a clique may seem like a big deal right now, but when you graduate you'll get over it.  You probably won't see these people again, don't fret because the "popular" teens didn't allow you in their clique.

Cliques will come and go.  The popular group today will not be the popular group tomorrow.  If you have true friends, be grateful for them.  Who cares that you're not part of the so called "cool" group.   Just be you because there is no one like you. 

Teens who are desperate to be part of the popular group will most likely continue looking outside of themselves for happiness.  Everything you need is inside of you.  There's nothing outside of you that will make you happy or fill a void.  You must figure out why it's important to be part of a clique.  There's something inside of you that's lacking.  Once you figure out what it is, you will not have the desire to be part of the "in group" at school.  What a relief that will be!

Judgment is like a boomerang -- it will come back and smack you in the face!  When you judge someone, you're projecting your shadow onto that person.  If you feel someone is arrogant, look deep inside to find out where you've
been or act arrogant.  The answers may surprise you.

When you "judge" someone, there's something that resonates with you on a deeper level.  Why judge someone?  What do you get out of it?  Get to the root cause of the judgment and clear the air.  You may judge without even knowing it. 

Look at the patterns that repeat in your life.  You may judge out of frustration that you're experiencing in your life.  Take a breather and look at what is really bothering you.  Remember, it's easier to take our frustrations out
on others than looking at ourselves in the mirror.

Why you may judge

1.  Frustrated in your life.
2.  Disappointed with your life.
3.  Jealous of others.
4.  Feeling stuck in your life.
5.  You absorb other peoples' energies without even knowing it.

For those who are empathetic and absorb others energy (Indigo children) may find themselves judging others for no apparent reason.  It would be good for you to "shield" yourself before you leave the house.  You could say a prayer of protection or send "love" to the people and place you'll be.

Judging others is a waste of time and energy.  You could be pursuing an activity or career that you love.  The next time you find yourself judging another, step back, take a deep breath, and ask yourself "why" you're doing it.  The answers may not be the ones you want, but they'll help you to move forward in your life.  The sooner you clear the air, the better!

Many teens experience conflicts with their sibling.  Your brother or sister may seem like a P.I.A. now, but when they leave for college, you'll be wishing they were still in the house.

It's normal for siblings to clash once in awhile.  It makes no difference if you are two or five years apart, you're going to experience some conflict from time to time.  This is a normal part of growing up because you are expressing your feelings and setting your boundaries.

Sibling conflicts are not normal if mom and dad pit one teen against another.  Unfortunately, this does happen.  It's not your fault.  Some parents raise their children based on how they were raised.  This means if they were pitted against their sibling, the pattern will be repeated when they have children.  For example, they may have had a brother who was a straight-A student and athlete.  Naturally they expect both teens to get straight-A's and to be athletic.  This is unrealistic because children are different.  Just because you share the same DNA doesn't mean you will have the same talents.

Tips and tricks to handling sibling conflict

1.  Love you for who you are.  You are special and unique just the way you are.  There's no reason for you to be like your sister.  She may be artistic, but you may be great at science.  There's no right or wrong way to be.

2.  Explain to your parents that you are not like your sibling.  You may have an academic streak and your brother may be the athlete, there's nothing wrong with that.  However, your parents may expect you and your brother to be the same.  Sit your parents down and tell them how you feel.  Make it known that you're not interested in sports and have no desire to be the high school quarterback.  If they can't understand that, it's their problem.  You must live your life for you and no one else.  Remember, your parents are not going to live forever.  It's a fact.  The sooner you begin to live for yourself the better!

3.  Twins can be individuals.  You may share the same DNA and look alike, but you probably have different tastes.  There's no reason to dress alike, unless you want to do so.  If you have fashion styles, you can avoid conflict all together.   Then again, your sister may give you her opinion on your fashion sense.  Thank her sharing and remind her that it's your life.  You can wear (within reason) whatever you like.  That includes a shocking pink top!

4.  Agree to disagree.  Instead of getting into fights, agree to disagree.  Everyone is entitled to their opinion.  In fact, opinions are the cheapest commodities because everyone has them.  Whenever you feel your blood start to boil, take a deep breath, count to 10, and let the conflict go.  It's not worth getting upset or your time.  Besides, as you grow older, you'll probably look back and think, "...why did I make such a big deal about that?"

5.  Be yourself.  Just be you no matter what.  It's not your job to make other people understand you.  There's a great saying which is, "...what other people think about me is none of my business."  So your brother's friends think you're a dork.  Who cares?  At least you'll graduate on time and probably with honors.

Sibling conflicts can be avoided through communication.  Ask your parents to call a family meeting where you and your siblings get to vent your frustrations and aggravations.  Getting everything out in the open is best.  This way you don't stuff your feelings and avoid feeling resentment toward your sibling.  And remember, you're teens.  There's bound to be some "drama rama" between your and your siblings.  Learn to communicate your feelings in a safe and harmonious way.  This will serve you now and in your adulthood.  Now go and give your brother or sister a hug!

The following is from Care2Action, an organization that "provides powerful tools to make a difference in your life, community, country and world. It's driven by passionate people (just like you) who want to restore the world's balance."

From Care2Action

Within just two weeks this spring, Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover of Springfield, MA, and Jaheem Herrera of DeKalb, GA, returned from school with broken spirits and hanged themselves following relentless bullying and anti-LGBT taunts.

Demand action to stop anti-LGBT bullying in schools

These were just the reported cases -- thousands more suffer silently.  These heartbreaking student suicides are a chilling reminder to all of us that we need to stand up and take action to prevent the perpetuation of soul crushing anti-LGBT behavior that is claiming young lives.

Passing the Safe Schools Improvement Act (H.R. 2262) would mark a pivotal turning point in the crucial fight for safer schools.  It would establish -- for the first time in our nation's history -- a federal mandate for schools to adopt anti-bullying policies that include the categories of sexual orientation and gender identity/expression.

This act would ensure that schools no longer get a "pass" when they turn a blind eye to anti-LGBT behavior, and it would require them to address all forms of bullying.  Urge your representative to support the Safe Schools Improvement Act ! >> From Care2 

What can you do

To stop bullying, quit giving the bully attention.  That's all they really want.  Most bullies are so insecure that they pick on someone else to make themselves feel better.  It's been discovered that most bullies don't come from a healthy background. Their parents are usually abusive or into drugs and alcohol leaving their teen on her own.

Quit focusing on the bully.  Before you go to school AFFIRM that you are going to have a great day.  Wish that bully the best of luck, bless him, and send him packing!  Never, ever give your power away to another person!  It's up to you to stand up for yourself in a healthy and safe manner.  Start by AFFIRMING that you're powerful and deserve respect and understanding.  You'll be surprised how fast the bully can "disappear."  

Remember that thoughts become things.  If you want a bully to leave you alone once and for all, just affirm it.  Say something like, "...I am loved and protected and deserve to be loved and respected.  I send you (fill in the name) on your way, peace and blessings to you."  Keep doing this every day before you go to school, when you switch classes, at lunch time, when you leave school, and before you go to bed.  Reprogram your thoughts about your bully and watch as you don't give him another thought. You'll begin to enjoy school and attract friends that "mirror" you.  

Peace and blessings to you!