According to Gayle Kimball, Ph.D, author of The Teen Trip, "44% of all school-age children with employed parents are latchkey kids (refers to wearing a key around their neck to let themselves into their home)."  It's a fact that both parents work today.  Some work two and three jobs to make ends meet.  If you're a latchkey kid, remember your parents are doing their best to put food on the table, keep a roof over the family's head, and clothes on everyone's back. 

Some teens may not feel comfortable being home alone.  You may feel scared or very alone because you're not allowed to go outside when your parents aren't home.  Maybe you have older siblings who boss you around because they're bigger than you. 

It may suck to be home by yourself but you have options.  Instead of going home, maybe you can go to a youth center or library.  This way you'll be surrounded by people and feel more secure.  Maybe you can call a friend or hotline like PhoneFriend where you can speak to someone while your parents are gone.  It could help pass the time after you've finished your homework.

Some teens may find being at home without any parents liberating.  It gives them a chance to find their independence and to get a taste of what it's like to be on their own.  If they have siblings, it gives them a chance to develop and exercise their diplomatic, negotiation, and conflict resolution skills!

Being a latchkey kid doesn't give you a free pass to do whatever you want.  It doesn't mean you can have friends over and party!  Your parents will eventually find out what you've been up to and you'll face the consequences for your actions.  Think about that before you tell everyone your parents are not home.

As a latchkey kid you may develop resentment towards your parents.  Remember they're responsible for taking care of you and are doing the best they can.  Take it easy on them and do your part to help out.  Complete your homework, watch your younger siblings or listen to your older ones, help with chores, and be the best you can be!

Personal Experience:  I used to be a "latchkey kid" when I was growing up in the 1980s.  Both my parents worked and my older sister started working when she was 16-years-old (there's a 6 year gap between us).  I'd walk home from school or from the bus and let myself into the house.  Sometimes my sister was at home, but we didn't get along.  When she turned 16-years-old, she got a part-time job.  After that, it was me and the dog. 

When I was older I'd fix my own dinner which meant heating up what my mom cooked the night before on the stove or in the microwave.  I had to do my homework and whatever chores I had.  As a teen, I thought this arrangement sucked big time.  I resented my mom for some time because she wasn't at home when I got home from school like some of the other kids moms.

As an adult, I can see how being a latchkey kid  shaped my character, made me a strong person, and developed my independence.  It's amazing how you can find the gifts in the places you think are the darkest.

Links

PhoneFriend (check your area for the local number)

You probably don't think about your teachers that much.  Some of you may consider them to be a pain in the butt because they give you homework or push you to do better.  Did you realize that your teachers do more than teach?  They wear many hats such as teacher, counselor, coach, act like a surrogate mom or dad, and tutor in addition to other roles they play.  And, they're definitely not paid a salary that covers these other roles!

The next time you're inclined to give your teacher a hard time, remember they're doing their job which is to teach and prepare you for college and adult life.  If I were you, I'd enjoy the teen years for as long as you can because once you turn 18, it will be a different "game" for some of you.  You'll be off to college without mom and dad and on your own.  If you think your professors and instructors will "coddle" or "buy" your excuses why your assignments aren't complete, you're in for a rude awakening.  They're going to pass or fail you -- it's that simple.

Respect is a two way street.  You must first respect yourself before anyone else will respect you.  If you have teachers that give you a hard time, ask yourself "why?"  It could be that you don't respect yourself enough for someone to show you respect.  Demanding and commanding respect is two different concepts.  When you demand respect, it's like stomping your foot like a child and throwing a temper tantrum.  When you command respect, you hold your head high and walk into a room with your shoulders back.  You're groomed and look good.  You exude confidence which makes people notice you.

Teachers are doing the best they can.  They're usually given limited amounts of funds and end up purchasing supplies with their own money.  And you wonder why school levies don't pass.  It's not that people don't want to support local schools, they do.  It has to do with bureaucrats who mismanage funds.  This means teens suffer for it in the long run.

Make your teachers life easy and pay attention in class.  Forget about being the tough guy or girl.  Forget about being the comedian because people can see right through that.  If you're acting out that means there's something beneath the surface that needs to be addressed.  You aren't fooling anyone.  Do your best in school because it's the foundation you'll need to succeed in life!  So...the next time you walk into class, say "hello" to your teacher and be sincere about it.  Who knows, you could make their day!

Personal Note #1:  My grandfather used to stutter when he was a young boy.  The reason for his stuttering was due to his step-father who repeatedly hit him on the left side of his head.  My grandfather eventually left home and was on the streets at the age of 11 (this was back in the day around 1922), but that's another story.  My grandfather used to be embarrassed because he stuttered, but he eventually overcame his stuttering.  He was one of the smartest people I knew; he educated himself.

Personal Note #2:  I used to have a speech impediment.  I couldn't pronounce certain letters of the alphabet.  When I was in elementary school, I went to speech classes a few times a week to work on my speech.  At the time I felt ashamed and embarrassed.  I didn't know that my speech classes would help me in my adult life.  Here's an FYI:  when you attend college, you may have to give presentations which means you'll be speaking to a crowd of 30 or more.  My speech classes helped me to annunciate and pronounce my words and it helped me to listen closely to others.  I love public speaking (most people fear this) and enjoy giving presentations and teaching others.  You never know what gift you'll find from an adverse situation!

What's a communication disorder?  It deals with speech and language disorders which can be as simple as delays or problems with oral motor function.  Some teens may have issues with sound or may not understand or use language.

Examples of communication disorders

1.  Autism*
2.  Aphasia
3.  Asperger syndrome
4.  Dyscalculia
5.  Deafness
6.  Blindness
7.  Dyslexia

Examples of speech disorders

1.  Cluttering, a speech organization disorder
2.  Stuttering
3.  Speech sound disorder
4.  Oesophageal voice
5.  Specific language impairment
6.  Dysarthria

Autism seems to be the most prevalent communication disorder.  There's is hope if you're autistic.  With behavior therapy and social education, you can live a fulfilling life.  It may be necessary to really work at it, but with time and perseverance, you'll be able to make great strides that will take you into adulthood.*

As I mentioned, I love public speaking.  Most people are absolutely terrified if they have to get up in front of big crowd and speak.  Not me, I could speak in front of 10 or 10,000 people -- it doesn't make a difference to me.  My communication disorder as a young kid pushed me to develop my speaking skills.  I still get "butterflies in the stomach" before I speak, but that's just nervous energy; it burns off as I begin to speak.

If you have or know someone that has a communication disorder, it's nothing to be ashamed of and you can overcome it.  I know it will sound cliché to say that you'll realize your communication disorder can make you stronger and develop your character, but it's true.  Whatever adversity you face, even a communication disorder, can and will make you a stronger person.  Allow nothing and no one to stand in your way -- go around adversity with your head held high.  Here's to your success!

You, your sibling, or friend may have a learning disability.  This is nothing to feel ashamed about and it doesn't make you stupid.  Most people will face some type of adversity in their lives.

The most common learning disabilities are dyslexia and ADHD.  I'm not sure I agree with the diagnosis of ADHD because half the U.S. population seems to have attention deficit!  Ask someone to listen to an one hour teleseminar or watch a 15-minute video and they'd probably faint!  Anyway, if you have a learning disability you can overcome it and live a successful life.

Learning disabilities

Dyslexia is inherited and it means you have difficulty with sounds, reading, writing, and spelling; it's a neurological based disorder.  Most teens have difficulty with letters and numbers -- you see information backwards.  Dyslexia has nothing to do with your intelligence and if someone tells you it does, ignore them.

ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder which means you can't focus on studying and learning.  You're easily distracted and can't concentrate.  You may be more active than your peers and act on your impulses all of the time. Symptoms of ADHD include but are not limited to the following:

1.  Have trouble waiting your turn.
2.  Restlessness.
3.  Organization is difficult.
4.  Get distracted even if you're enjoying what you're doing.
5.  Go from one activity to another (some people call this multi-tasking)
6.  Can't pay attention to details which causes avoidable mistakes to occur.
7.  Forgetful.

If you have a learning disability, you'll be able to overcome it with perseverance, dedication, and time.  Avoid giving up because you'll let yourself down.  You can overcome any obstacle in your life as long as you're determined to do so.  Allow no one to bring you down because chances are they're just insecure.  Stay strong and love who you are no matter what!

Teens often experience bullying at school, but they also experience it online.  This is known as cyberbullying.  In fact, some teens have committed suicide because of the bullying they received over the internet.  FYI:  bullying is not cool, and the person doing the bullying is usually insecure which is why they feel the need to pick on someone else.

What is cyberbullying?  It's when a teens use technologies such as the internet or cell phones (text messaging) to continually embarrass, threaten, harass, or harm others.  Cyberbullying ranges from offensive emails to postings on social networks to spreading rumors in a chat room.  FYI:  The information you put on the internet can be found by anyone.  This includes college recruiters.  If you plan to go to college chances are you can kiss your acceptance goodbye!

A cyberbully remains anonymous.  Hiding behind technology such as a computer is easier than facing another person.  This is why most social media networks have taken off.  You get to remain anonymous. 

Cyberbullying is no laughing matter.  Some teens have committed suicide because of the harassment they received at the hands of another.  In fact, some criminal charges have been filed against some of the cyberbullies.  Think about this before you attack, embarrass, or threaten another teen because you could find yourself doing time in jail!

Treat others how you'd like to be treated.  Would you harass or pick on yourself?  What would make you pick on another teen?  Is it a sense of power?  Actually, bullying someone else is a weakness.  When you bully another, you're really bullying yourself.  You're insecure and have deep issues that need resolving.  Find an outlet for your pain and anger.  Cyberbullying is not the answer!

Links
STOP cyberbullying
National Crime Prevention Council
National Center for Missing and Exploited Children

Some teens feel as if they don't fit in and they usually are loners who stick to themselves because it's less painful.  Some teens are super sensitive (emotionally) which can be an issue because other teens can be cruel and you're easily hurt.  Or, you pick up on the emotions (empathetic) which are not yours.  This can wreak havoc on your life if you're unaware of what's happening to you. 

What does indigo mean?  Indigos are highly intelligent, curious, strong willed, allergic to authority, independent, and often thought of as weird by family and friends.  Indigos tend to be loners because they can't find friends that resonate with them.  Or, they're drawn to other indigos and hang out with them.

Indigos have warrior spirits.  This helps them with their purpose which is to smash old systems that no longer serve mankind or haven't served mankind.  They'll question and stomp out government, educational and legal systems, and anything that lacks honesty and integrity.  Indigos have a fiery determination with a temper to match it!

Signs of being an indigo

1.  Super sensitive.
2.  Allergic to authority.
3.  Have a disdain for unethical behaviors.
4.  Have a strong feeling to ripping down established systems that are riddled with deceit, lies, lack of integrity, and don't serve mankind.
5.  Are able to pick out dishonest people in a crowd.  There's no use in lying to you because you're a "human" lie detector.
6.  Highly intuitive.
7.  Tend to be loners.
8.  Can't disregard your feelings (no reason to do this) or pretend that everything's okay.

It's been said that indigos have been appearing on Earth for the last 100 years or so.  The early indigo children are considered to be the trail blazers for those who have followed them.  A significant number of indigos were born after World War II.  In the 1970s another wave of indigo children was born.  This means these indigos are now in their late twenties and thirties (me) and are getting ready to step up to leadership roles.  Indigos were born up to 2000; they have amazing technological and creative advancements.

Unfortunately, many teens (and adults) don't know they're indigo or their families don't know how to handle it.  This is why so many teens are misdiagnosed with ADHD (Attention Deficit with Hyperactivity Disorder) or ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder).  You then become medicated which numbs your spiritual gifts, sensitivity, and warrior energy.

If you're indigo, chances are you know when someone is lying to you.  You can't stand manipulators or people who patronize you or others.  Indigos are strong because of their warrior spirit and this can be threatening to others.  Dysfunctional situations won't work for indigos.  This means you'll feel icky at school or home because of the negative energy.  Unless you're medicated, there's no way you'll be able to disregard your feelings and pretend everything's all right.

You could be an indigo child and may not even know it.  You may want to get Doreen Virtue's book The Care and Feeding of Indigo Children.  This book can help you embrace who you are and clean up your diet because what you eat will affect you.  Love who you are -- know that you're not alone!

Smoking is not that cool!  Most teens begin to smoke because their friends smoke or they want to look cool.  Some teens see their parents smoke so they feel it is okay for them to smoke.  Believe me, smoking is not cool.

I had my first smoke when I was in the 6th grade.  My friend began smoking so I wanted to see what it was like.  I choked on my first drag.  Years later when I entered high school, I began to smoke because my friends were able to buy them -- they were not carded!  The people who sold them the cigarettes could have been in major trouble for selling to minors.

I thought smoking made me look cool and it seemed to melt my troubles away.  I didn't come from a "white picket fence" background.  My family life was a mess and smoking seemed to alleviate all the pain I was feeling.  Unfortunately, smoking is only a temporary relief.

Luckily for me, I wasn't a constant or heavy smoker.  I'd stop and start and wouldn't smoke that much.  However, the fact that I was smoking wasn't a good sign.  My lungs didn't appreciate it!

When you smoke, your hair and clothes stink.  Your teeth get stained which doesn't make for a pretty picture.  Of course, I didn't realize all of this until I quit smoking three years ago. When I was around smokers, I noticed how my clothes smelled.  Yuck!  First of all, I love fashion.  It makes no sense to spend good money on clothing if you're going to ruin them with cigarette smoke!  And, I love to get my hair done.  It makes no sense to spend over $100 to get your hair cut, styled, hi-lighted, and colored if you're going to smoke because it will dull your hair.

FYI:  I haven't had cigarette since 2007 and it's been great.  I have more stamina, and I can hike South Mountain Park in Phoenix, AZ without huffing and puffing!

Before you light up and begin smoking, ask yourself "why" you're smoking.  What appeals to you about smoking?  How does it make you feel?  What influence do your friends and parents have on you?  Think about these questions before you put that cigarette to your lips and inhale.  You could save yourself from medical complications now or down the road!

Links
Venomocity
Young Women's Health
Tween and Teen Health
Do Something

Some teens may go to college or university and some may not, the choice is yours.  If you have a strong desire to attend college or university then you'll want to be prepared and make sure you meet all of the requirements.  This includes excellent grades, extracurricular activities, and much more.

Getting into your favorite college or university doesn't have to be a stressful experience.  Make sure you research the college and if possible visit the campus.  Speak to current and former students and ask them questions that will help you make your decision.  You could ask:  What did you like about the college?  What were your favorite classes?  How are the teachers or professors?  How tough is the school?  Asking these and other questions will help you make your decision.

Not every teen wants to go to college and that's okay.  You may decide later in life that you want to go back.  This is totally fine and normal.  When you're 18 years-old do you really know what you want to do with the rest of your life?  Heck, most people in their 40s don't know what they want to do!  Take your time to discover your passion then go to college.

Tips to getting into college/university

1.  Apply yourself in school and receive excellent grades.
2.  Make sure you're involved in extracurricular activities such as sports, band, student council, etc...
3.  Volunteer at your favorite not-for-profits.
4.  Make sure you know who to write because you'll have to provide a personal statement about why you want to attend the college or university of your choice.

Forget about stressing over your major.  If you know what you passion is then follow it.  If not, you may want to explore different career paths and speak to people who are successful in their career.  Ask if you could "shadow" them at work.  This means you'll go to work with them and see what they do five days a week.  It's the best way to find out if you really want to be a nurse, entrepreneur, accountant, veterinarian, web, graphic, or fashion designer, electrical engineer, biologist, or what it is that interests you. 

Getting into college or university doesn't have to be a tedious process.  You won't have a problem as long as you follow the instructions given by the college.  Remember that it's your life.  If you have NO DESIRE to attend a four year college or university then don't go.  Allow no one, even your parents, to pressure you into something that you're not interested in at this time.  You'll be wasting time and money along with the time and money of the college and university.  It's not fair to the other students who really want to be there or those students who didn't get in because you took their spot.  Be considerate and honor your feelings.  If you don't want to go just say so!  Good luck!

I don't know what it's like to be adopted, but I have family members that are adopted.  I was told that my cousins were my cousins and that was it.  I didn't find out until I was older that some of my cousins were adopted.  It was no big deal -- they were my cousins and part of the family.  However, some family members were not as open and accepting.  Whatever!  It doesn't matter if you're blood or not -- family is family.

Some teens are adopted and find out from the moment they're brought home.  Unfortunately, some parents keep the adoption a secret.  This can backfire because children grow up and start asking questions, especially in their teens.  If this has happened to you, forgive your parents because they probably thought they made the right decision.  They were trying to protect you.  They kept your adoption a secret out of love.  It may not make sense, but when you're a parent you'll understand.

Teens if you're adopted you may not want to find your birth parents.  Chances are if you have a family then your already have connections, family dynamics, relations, and drama!  Do you really want to open up a can of worms that could potentially bring you more drama?

You may want to find your birth parents for various reasons such as medical history, genealogy project, curiosity, and closure.  Before you decide to find your birth parents discuss it with your adoptive parents because it will affect them as well.  Make sure all feelings are taken into consideration.  If you feel it's what you want to do then ask your adoptive parents to help you.

Some teens feel ashamed that they're adopted.  Abandonment issues will eat you alive if you let them.  This is why most teens want to find their birth parents so they can find out the reason why they were given up.  Sometimes birth mothers are 16 years-old or younger and can't care for their babies.  Of course, woman in their 20s decide to give up their child because they're just beginning their life and they're not ready for the responsibility of a child.  Whatever the reason, know that it was not your fault and you did nothing wrong.  You are a blessing that your family was waiting for.  Remember, many women are unable to have children and would do and pay anything to be able to have one!

If you're adopted and struggle with it, seek counseling to help you heal.  Remember that your parents chose you to be part of their family.  Out of many children waiting to be adopted, they chose you.  Be grateful because many children long to be part of a family.  Being adopted doesn't define you and neither does whose blood is running through your veins.  Family is family no matter if you're biological or not.

Links

National Adoption Information Clearinghouse
Adoption and Adolescence
Adoption Clubhouse

Each year many teens run away from home.  They live on the streets and up fending for themselves.  Some of them form groups and live together in abandoned buildings or go to shelters.  Unfortunately, the streets are not a safe place to be.  You could wind up losing your life or become involved in teen prostitution.  Think about that before you pack your bags and head out on your own.

Teens in abusive environments usually run away from home.  Their parents or guardians physically, mentally, emotionally, or sexually abuse them.  Some parents are addicted and don't take care of their teens.  This is why teens take to the streets because they believe it will be a better alternative to living in an unstable home environment.

Consequences of running away

What will you do for money?  Teens turn to drugs and prostitution in order to survive. In order to survive teens turn to pimps and drug dealers because they believe these people will protect them.  This is not true.  Drug dealers and pimps and are out for number one and to make money -- that's the bottom line.

Teens that run away are more likely to be infected by the age of 21 with HIV or other diseases.  You could also lose your life.  You don't know who you'll meet when you're on the streets.  Unfortunately, some people who live on the street have mental problems.  You could run into some trouble with homeless people who may be mentally unstable.  These people don't receive medical treatment and won't know or understand what they're doing to you.

Alternatives to running away

Running away won't solve your problems.  If you have trouble at home, tell a guidance counselor, confidant, friends, teachers, or anyone you trust.  There is help for you.  It's up to you to ask for it and trust that everything will work out in your favor.

It's true that all group homes are not created equally.  However, there are some group homes that are in your area that offer love, support, and kindness.  There are people who really do care about you and your well being. 

Don't give up

Even if you think your home life is unbearable, don't take to the streets.  At the end of this post are links to organizations that can help you.  Contact them first before you run away.  You don't know what you'll face on the streets; it could be 20 times worse than your current situation.  Have the courage to pick up the phone to change your life.  Have faith that it will be okay.

Links

Covenant House
National Center for Missing and Exploited Children
Child Find of America, Inc.
Teen Runaway -- Positive Alternatives
National Runaway Switchboard