Parents, do you have a rebellious teen?  Were you rebellious as a teenager?  Remember when you were rebelling against your parents or the system.  Your teen may be doing the same as you did 20 years ago.  Why is your teen rebelling?  Could it be the home environment is unstable?  Is she exercising her independence?  What about testing your patience?  Whatever the reason your teen is rebelling, go with the flow because this too shall pass!

I couldn't stand my home life because it was very dysfunctional.  I had an abusive, alcoholic father that I wished would go away forever.  Unfortunately, my mom wouldn't divorce him because she was afraid of what he may have done to us if she did.  So I had to be subjected to all of his B.S. which made me one hell of a rebellious teen!

In order to release my pain and anger I smoked, drank, was very outspoken (not in a good way), threatened to run away from home, and hung out with people who were older than me (it helps if you have friends with older brothers and sisters).  My mom smoked and so did half of my family.  What's that saying, "...monkey see, monkey do!"  I figured it was no big deal.  If they could do it, so could I.  If my father found out that I was drinking my response would have been, "...you're a full blown alcoholic lecturing me on the dangers of drinking -- yeah right!  Then I would have stormed off, gotten into my Mustang, and peeled out of the driveway!  God only knows where I would have gone.  All I know is that I couldn't take being in my home environment -- I wanted out!

FYI:  It would have been nice to have had some sort of outlet or someone who I could have spoken with about what was going on within my home.  Unfortunately, I didn't have anyone.

Tips for handling a rebellious teen

1.  Have open communication.  This doesn't mean yelling and screaming.  Let your teen know that you'll have a calm, rational conversation not one that's filled with obscenities and screaming!
2.  Give them an outlet to express themselves such as art, music, working out, biking, hiking, volunteering, sports, or some other activity.
3.  Clean up your act if you're an alcoholic or addicted to some other substance.
4.  Let them speak to a counselor or life coach.  These people can help teens get to the "root" of why they're rebelling.
5.  Let them express themselves through their clothing, hair, etc...You want to make sure they're not going overboard with provocative clothing, but allow them to choose clothing that makes them feel comfortable.

If your home environment is filled with abuse, addiction, and dysfunction, it's a recipe for a rebellious teen.  Your teen probably has a lot of responsibility put on them which includes parenting themselves or young siblings.  They're used to being the parent so of course they're going to rebel if you're lounging around the house with a bottle of whiskey or pills in your hand.  If you clean up your act and start to be the mom or dad, it's normal that they'd rebel against you because they've been the parent all along.  Let them know that you're sorry for everything.  Work together and show each other respect.  With time, you can mend your relationship with your teen.

Your home environment may be loving and supportive, but still have a rebellious teen.  Teens face more pressure today than back in the day.  Make sure you have open communication no matter what comes out of your teen's mouth.  They may be facing issues that they don't know how to handle such as being pregnant, gay/lesbian, feeling like an outcast, being overweight, or some other issue.  They may be unsure how you're going to handle whatever it is they're experiencing this moment.  Be loving and supportive and make it known you'll be there for them no matter what.

You can get through the rebellious teen years.  Make sure you're supportive and let your teen know you love them no matter what.  Your teen won't stay rebellious forever.  Take it with a grain of salt and remember that you were once a teenager!