Parents do you support your teen's activities?  You may not be a big fan of football, but your teenage son may have what it takes to be an all-star.  Support him even if you don't understand the sport or watch it!

Teens need all the support they can get these days.  Unsupportive parents send the message "I don't love you or I don't care" to teens when they don't show an interest in their activities or put them down for their choice.  This can do more damage than you realize.

Teens who play sports keep out of trouble because they're too busy practicing for the big game or their competition.  It doesn't matter what sport they play as long as they're happy.  You may not like track and field but your teen does that's all that matters.

FYI:  Your teen won't stay a teenager forever and soon will leave for college.  Your teen may receive a full scholarship or partial scholarships to the college of their choice.  This will help offset the cost of tuition, room, and board.  Every little bit helps!

Playing a sport means that fundraising is inevitable.  If you can take a box or two of candy bars with you to work then do it.  If not, help your teen figure out a way to sell the candy bars.  There's always the good ol' going door-to-door approach or calling family and friends to help out.  Social media is really big.  Post something on your Facebook page about your teen selling candy bars.  You never know who'll want to help out.

Sports teach teen about discipline and how to focus.  There's nothing wrong with this.  Who knows, you may see a change in your teen because they're playing a sport.  Maybe they're more cooperative and respectful.  Perhaps they're offering to do chores (if they don't already) around the hours.  They'll have to show their coach and teammates respect otherwise they'll be kicked off the team.  Of course, teens need to respect themselves before they'll be able to truly respect others.

Remember that your child came from you and share your DNA but may not share your interests.  Let them chose their own activities.  When they do, show your support by being happy for them and showing up at games and or competitions.  It will mean the world to them that you're in the stands cheering them onto victory.

Parents, do you have a rebellious teen?  Were you rebellious as a teenager?  Remember when you were rebelling against your parents or the system.  Your teen may be doing the same as you did 20 years ago.  Why is your teen rebelling?  Could it be the home environment is unstable?  Is she exercising her independence?  What about testing your patience?  Whatever the reason your teen is rebelling, go with the flow because this too shall pass!

I couldn't stand my home life because it was very dysfunctional.  I had an abusive, alcoholic father that I wished would go away forever.  Unfortunately, my mom wouldn't divorce him because she was afraid of what he may have done to us if she did.  So I had to be subjected to all of his B.S. which made me one hell of a rebellious teen!

In order to release my pain and anger I smoked, drank, was very outspoken (not in a good way), threatened to run away from home, and hung out with people who were older than me (it helps if you have friends with older brothers and sisters).  My mom smoked and so did half of my family.  What's that saying, "...monkey see, monkey do!"  I figured it was no big deal.  If they could do it, so could I.  If my father found out that I was drinking my response would have been, "...you're a full blown alcoholic lecturing me on the dangers of drinking -- yeah right!  Then I would have stormed off, gotten into my Mustang, and peeled out of the driveway!  God only knows where I would have gone.  All I know is that I couldn't take being in my home environment -- I wanted out!

FYI:  It would have been nice to have had some sort of outlet or someone who I could have spoken with about what was going on within my home.  Unfortunately, I didn't have anyone.

Tips for handling a rebellious teen

1.  Have open communication.  This doesn't mean yelling and screaming.  Let your teen know that you'll have a calm, rational conversation not one that's filled with obscenities and screaming!
2.  Give them an outlet to express themselves such as art, music, working out, biking, hiking, volunteering, sports, or some other activity.
3.  Clean up your act if you're an alcoholic or addicted to some other substance.
4.  Let them speak to a counselor or life coach.  These people can help teens get to the "root" of why they're rebelling.
5.  Let them express themselves through their clothing, hair, etc...You want to make sure they're not going overboard with provocative clothing, but allow them to choose clothing that makes them feel comfortable.

If your home environment is filled with abuse, addiction, and dysfunction, it's a recipe for a rebellious teen.  Your teen probably has a lot of responsibility put on them which includes parenting themselves or young siblings.  They're used to being the parent so of course they're going to rebel if you're lounging around the house with a bottle of whiskey or pills in your hand.  If you clean up your act and start to be the mom or dad, it's normal that they'd rebel against you because they've been the parent all along.  Let them know that you're sorry for everything.  Work together and show each other respect.  With time, you can mend your relationship with your teen.

Your home environment may be loving and supportive, but still have a rebellious teen.  Teens face more pressure today than back in the day.  Make sure you have open communication no matter what comes out of your teen's mouth.  They may be facing issues that they don't know how to handle such as being pregnant, gay/lesbian, feeling like an outcast, being overweight, or some other issue.  They may be unsure how you're going to handle whatever it is they're experiencing this moment.  Be loving and supportive and make it known you'll be there for them no matter what.

You can get through the rebellious teen years.  Make sure you're supportive and let your teen know you love them no matter what.  Your teen won't stay rebellious forever.  Take it with a grain of salt and remember that you were once a teenager!

Parents do their best to raise their teens with morals, values, and ethics.  What happens when you don't practice what you preach?  For example, if you abhor name calling, but you call someone a name, how is this practicing what you preach?  It's not -- you're being a hypocritic.

Teens are smart enough to recognize that parents may say one thing but mean something else.  You tell your teens to be polite and treat people with respect, but you bad mouth people at the office or online, your spouse, your sibling, or friend.  It doesn't make sense to teens.

Practicing what you preach will show your teens that you "walk your talk."  How will teens respect you if you tell them not to do something but you go ahead and do what you told them not to do?  Teens will lose respect for you because you did the opposite of what you expect them to do.

Like it or not, your teens obseve your actions.  This is how they learn.  If you're not kind to someone, they'll pick up on that and believe they can treat people without respect.  If you're negative all of the time, the negativity will rub off onto them.  Before you know it, you're living in a toxic environment that's not safe for anyone.

Teens need good role models in their life so they'll become upstanding and productive citizens.  Moms and dads, you're responsible for guiding their teens through life and shaping their values system.  Do the best you can -- start by practicing what you preach!

Extreme Makeover Home Edition is known for rebuilding a family's home and dreams.  Some families run nonprofit organizations that benefit teens in the community.  Here are a few of those families that have been showcased on Extreme Makeover Home Edition.

The Wagstaff Family

The February 21, 2010 Extreme Makeover Home Edition featured the Wagstaff who started the nonprofit music school Studio Percussion.  They were sent to the Rock N' Roll Hall Fame in Cleveland, OH.  They were treated to a surprise meet and greet with the members of the band KISS.  The family's home is not only livable, but ready for sweet music that the family will create together.

The Tripp Family

"Extreme Makeover: Home Edition traveled to Prince George's County, MD - with celebrity volunteer Tyler Perry -- to tell Nikema, aka "Tripp," and Tamara Tripp that their small house, in need of major repairs they can't afford, will be rebuilt in seven days."

"Over three decades ago, Tripp's father ran a bus ministry for the Woodland Baptist Church, hoping to make his rough neighborhood a better place.  Now a generation later, Tripp and Tamara are continuing a family tradition of service and generosity.  About 40 kids each week and over 90 children on holidays board the bus for fun and safe activities that have ranged from bowling on a Friday night to flower arranging for Mother's Day."  Read more at TV Grapevine.

These and other families not only open their homes, they open their hearts to help teens in their community.  What do you do to help teens in your area?  What could you do to help teens in need?  If we all pitch in, we could make a difference in the lives of many teens around the USA and the world!

It's no secret that teens grow up faster than previous generations.  Technology moves faster than the speed of light, television shows are more dramatic and steamier, and advertisements for material items bombard teens at every turn.  Being a teen is not like it was back in the day.

Teens still face peer pressure and raging hormones.  However, the game has changed.  Many years ago, teens would never dream of "coming out of the closet."  In fact, some teens stay in the closet because of fear.  What would you do if you teen told you he or she was gay, lesbian, or transgender?  How would you react?  Would you still love you teen?  Would you disown them?  These are questions parents may want to ponder.

Loving your teen no matter what means just that.  You take the good along with the bad and heartbreaking and move forward with your life.  This is probably easier said than done for most parents.  Remember, your teen came through you.  Once they're out in the world all bets are off.  Sure, they share your same DNA, but that doesn't mean they'll be exactly like you.  They are, after all, an individual.

Perhaps your teen has a disability.  With love and support they can lead a normal life and be the best they can be.  In fact, most teens with disabilities do more than healthy teens!  I remember my mom's friend whose son had Cerebral Palsy. He held a job at the age of 16, bought his own van, went to college, got an apartment with a roommate, started his own business, and bought a house.  He's an amazing and inspirational person that helps people like him to succeed in life.  Don't write-off your teens if they have a medical issue.  You'd be surprised at what people can do when they have love and support.

Being a teen today is not like it was when you were a teen.  You had your issues to deal with, we all did, but it's a different world today.  Teens deal with local and world issues.  They are constantly bombarded with images in the media that can make your head spin. Love your teens no matter what because love is what they need the most right now!

Oh boy!  Some parents still think they're 16 years-old.  They consider themselves their teen's friend and not their parent.  This is a dangerous scenario.  Here's a tip:  your teen has enough friends -- they need a parent!

I can remember some of my friends' parents tried to be their friend.  This is was a disaster.  Um, a forty-three year-old acting like a 16 year-old is not a pretty picture.  It's embarrassing for the teen and for the parent.  Parents are better off acting their age not their shoe size!

BTW:  If your teen doesn't have friends -- that's another story and blog post.

Teens need parents to be parents.  Being a teenager today is not like it was centuries ago.  Life has evolved and moves at warp speed.  Parents are responsible for loving, guiding, and nurturing their teen.  They are not supposed to be hanging out as if they're part of the gang.  It's fantastic that parents are involved in their teen's life, but you must draw the line.

It's the responsibility of parents to mold and shape teens so they'll be able to function when you are not there.  Remember, life is fleeting and you can go at any moment.  Preparing your teen for life now will serve them later.  If you're too busy being their friend, your teen will suffer for it.

Parents, you had your turn at being 16 years-old.  It's time for you to pass the torch to your teen.  Be the best parent you can be.  By the way, many teens would prefer their parents to be parents and not their friend.  Think about that before you decide to "crash" your daughter's sleepover!

Some parents live vicariously through their teens.  Once upon a time, they were the all-star quarterback, head cheerleader, class president, or valedictorian.  Your high school days are over and it's time to move forward with your life.

Parents make the mistake of living through their teens.  Perhaps your dad didn't make the football team.  Now he expects you to be the quarterback, win every game, and go to the state championship.  Unfortunately, you have no interest in sports.  What's a teen to do?  Gently put your parents in their place and remind them high school has been over for them for quite some time.  It's time for your parents to live in the now.

Many teens have parents that want them to have the same dreams and goals as they did.  Here's a fact:  you created your teen that's it.  Once your teen is out all bets are off.  What you share is DNA and perhaps a few characteristics, that's it.  Your teen is an individual with their own mind which they'll use to create their own dreams.  You may think you can influence them, but it will not work.  The outcome is never good.

The fastest way to push your teen away from you is to live vicariously through them.  The past is gone and you can't go back and change it.  What you can do is embrace the present and do your best to make your dreams come true.  You may not be the all-star quarterback or head cheerleader, but you can be the best parent you can be and more!

Many parents are known as "helicopter" parents.  This means they hover all around their teens.  They show up at school unannounced, soccer games turn ugly, shopping for clothes turns into Project Runway, and dating becomes a disaster.  Avoid being a helicopter parents because it could back fire on you.

Hovering around your teens is not healthy.  It's great that you care about your teens, but lighten up!  You can suffocate your teens without even knowing it.  If you love and support your teens, they'll make the right choices most of the time.  Cut your teen some slack because they'll make mistakes.  This is how they learn and grow as a person.

Some parents are control freaks which is why they hover over their teens.  This will only push your teens away from you.  Teens need space and room to breathe.  Allow them to experience life and learn what it has to offer.  Allow them to experience the Law of Cause and Effect.  They'll soon find out that every action has a consequence.  If they keep making the same mistake over and over again, you can step in and show them what not to do.  Until then, back off!

Helicopter parents often do more harm than good.  Why?  Your teens will not be prepared to take care of themselves when they reach adulthood.  When your teens go off to college, will you go with them?  No, you will not.  Some parents have the audacity to call college professors when their child receives a bad grade.  Your teen received a bad grade because you probably did their homework for them when they were in high school.  Yes, there are parents who do their teen's homework.  This is not productive. 

If you don't give teens responsibility and do everything for them, how will they function in the world?  The answer is they will not be able to function and will live with you forever!  This may sounds a little far off, but it could happen.

Resist the urge to be a helicopter parent.  Allow your teens to make mistakes and learn from them.  Let them stand up for themselves and fight their own battles.  You can guide and council your teens, but allow them to make decisions on their own.  By the way:  showing your teens how to cook, do laundry, balance a checkbook, etc...This is not a bad idea either.

There's nothing worse than parents who make teens feel bad about themselves.  How did your parents treat you?  Perhaps your parents didn't encourage you, but instead pointed out flaws or "nitpicked" at you.  How did it make you feel?  You probably did not feel that great about yourself.  You probably had low self-esteem because of it.  Stop the cycle today.  This way your teen will turn out to be a well adjusted adult.

Encouraging teens to be and do their best will make a world of difference.  So what if your teenage daughter is not athletic, she's probably a science whiz who will find cures for diseases!  It's best to encourage her to stick with her studies rather than make or force her to be a softball star.

What do teens know

Teens either know what they like or will discover what they like and dislike.  Allow them to explore many options.  Yes, it's important to stick with something, but if they're bored out of their mind playing a musical instrument, it's not worth the time or money.  Let them find their passion at their own pace.

Parents can encourage their teens to just be themselves.  Quit comparing your teens to other teens or to siblings.  It's no wonder why there is such a thing as sibling rivalry!  Each teen is different, just accept it.  Just because they have the same DNA doesn't mean they will be exactly alike in all ways.  It doesn't work that way.  You may as well get over it!

No two teens are the same

All teens are unique and special.  They have different talents and interests.  Parents, encourage your teens to be the best they can be in life.  If they enjoy art, don't force sports onto them because you were the head cheerleader or quarterback. 

Make sure teens stay in school and graduate.  Some teens do find school very boring (I did) and not challenging enough.  Find alternative schooling options and activities they can join that will stimulate their mind.  For example, home schooling teens or sending them to a private or charter school could be better for them than public school.

Recognize that not every teen will enjoy college and or university.  Some may choose to go to a trade or art school.  It's their choice.  Who knows, years from now they may decide to continue their education with a four-year degree at your alma mater!

Love your teens no matter what

The worst kind of love is conditional which is "I'll love you if you do this or that." Unfortunately, many parents were raised with conditional love.  Avoid making the same mistake with your teens.  Love them no matter how they dress or wear their hair.  Remember how you felt when your parents told you not to wear spandex or stirrup pants with a fluorescent shirt.  I thought so!

Parents can help their teens by helping themselves.  Teens usually grow into adults whose lives mirror their parents. Parents who are argumentative, addicted, people pleasers, self-conscious, abusive, or non-motivated pass these norms onto their teens.  It just happens without warning.

Clean up your act and take responsibility for your life and show your teen what a great role model you are.  Take a step backward and find out where you got off track.  You can get back on the right path with help from a life coach, therapist, or both.  You don't have to be your parents!

Parents that grew up in a dysfunctional family which meant they saw their parents fight constantly or be abusive.  Most often parents end up becoming their parents even though they swear up and down they WILL NOT be like their parents.  It's a nice goal to have, but they end up becoming like their parents or worse.

Teens look up to their parents so make sure you're putting your best forward.  I'm not saying you must be a Perfect Penelope or Perfect Pete, but be conscious of how you live your life, who your friends are, what you say and how you say it, and how you behave will rub off on your teen.  

Many teens lack good role models.  Teachers, celebrities, and others try to fill the void.  It's YOUR JOB as parents to be the role model for your teens. Perhaps you didn't have a strong role model when you were growing up.  Do you want that for your teen?  Probably not.  Be the best role model your teen can have so they can be surrounded by positivity 24/7.  They'll thank you for it!