I love my sister but she allows my 17-year-old niece to get away with murder!  Okay, not murder but my niece isn't being taught responsibility.  She recently got her driver's license and is out of control.  When my sister comes home from work, my niece takes the car and returns it with a gas tank that's on empty.  She doesn't eat right and is always sick.  My sister and he husband are at fault.  They're supposed to teach my niece about nutrition and responsibility.  Sometimes I believe that people who work in the medical field are the worst offenders when it comes to nutrition.  My sister is a medical assistant and knows that greasy fast food isn't good.  I know my sister is doing the best she can but she's the mom.  She and her husband must set and enforce the rules -- they're the parents!My niece may have a tough time when she goes off to college in the fall.  That is if she graduates on time.  She's missed too much school and could end up in summer school.  Her boss is ready to fire her because she's missed a lot of work.  She has to give the school and her boss a doctor's note.  Something must change; otherwise she'll be headed down a rocky path in life.

FYI:  When I was a teen my father told me that I had to pay for my own car insurance and put gas in my car.  He agreed to help with major repairs and purchases such as tires but if I missed a car insurance payment, my beloved Mustang GT would have been sold in less than 2.5 seconds!  I never missed a car insurance payment and my car always had gas!

When my niece goes off to college in the fall, she'll have a rude awakening.  The professors won't hold her hand and make sure her assignments are completed and turned in on time.  They won't care if she passes or fails because they get paid either way.  I'm sure there are some caring professors but most of them are looking for tenure and security.  My niece will be in charge; she isn't making good choice right now.

Tidbit:  My dad was laid off for over five years and times were tough.  The only time we ate fast food was on a Friday because my mom got paid every Friday.  We never had fast food or pizza every Friday but when we did it was a treat. 

Parents, it's up to you to set the rules of the house.  It's up to you to ensure your children develop good eating habits.  Fast food, chips, cookies, ice cream, and other foods aren't good for the body.  I'm not saying to deprive your children but eating 'junk food' seven-days a week isn't good for any body.  You could Plan meals ahead of time and get your teens involved.  Allow them to help prepare and serve meals.  Try to eat dinner together whenever you can as a family.  Teenagers need to learn independence but parents are still in charge until their teens leave the house!

BTW:  At the end of my sophomore year of high school, I took control of my eating habits and lost 40 lbs.  I had my mom buy me fruits and vegetables; I gave up red meat and fast food, and worked out.  I was tired of being picked on the kids at school and by some family members.  But more importantly, I knew I had to change my eating habits because if I didn't they could have killed me.
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I spoke with a mom from Chicago, IL and she told me how teens at her daughter's high school were bullies.  Her daughter is a young adult now but when she was in high school she was bullied.  The school she went to was a prestigious all-girls school.  Yes, bullying occurs in private and public schools; it doesn't discriminate.  I asked this mom, "Where would teens learn how to bully?"  She told me that she'd volunteer to help out with school functions and some of the moms were rude.  They weren't nice to the other moms and they'd break off into cliques.  If you're wondering why bullying is out of control, take a look in the mirror because your teens could be learning bullying from you.

You may not think your teens pay attention to you but they do.  They'll mimic your actions, thoughts, and beliefs.  If you're rude to people, they'll learn that behavior from you.  If you cut people off in traffic, your 16-year-old will learn that driving behavior from you.  Like it or not, you're responsible for raising your children.  Don't rely on teachers, school administrators, grandparents, and everyone else to do it for you.  These people are secondary.

Tidbit:  Dr. Phil recently told a mom:  "Parents talk like their kids just showed up.  They have children but don't take responsibility for them."

If you're wondering why bullying has spun out of control, you may want to take a look in the mirror.  Go within and honestly assess how you treat people. How do you treat your teens?  How do you treat employees at your local grocery store?  How courteous are you when you drive?  You may be surprised to learn that teens are learning bullying from you.  Be honest and truthful with yourself.  Forgive and have compassion for yourself.  You can change your behavior which will change the behavior of your teens.



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Most parents want their children to have a better life than they did.  Unfortunately, if you keep teaching children what you know, they'll keep repeating the dysfunctional cycle in which they grew up in until they 'wake up' and break it!  Many parents don't understand money because they weren't taught about it.  You can't teach your children something if you're not educated about it.

It's imperative to teach children about money.  Most of us were taught to get good grades, go to college/university, and get a job.  This is not the answer.  Education is important but understanding money and finance is more important.  A degree is useless if you can't figure out how it can make you money.  Teens aren't taught about money in schools which means most of them will be in the same vicious cycle as their parents:  assume a pile of debt while trying to live the American dream!  This doesn't work and neither should you.

What rich people teach their kids about money

1.  Homes are not assets -- they're liabilities.  When you own a home, you'll owe property taxes.  You're responsible for the inside and outside maintenance.  You'll need to have savings set aside in case the furnace or hot water tank goes breaks.  Plus, you may want to 'makeover' your home because your style may change over time.  If you're aware of the responsibility that comes with owning a home, you'll be fine.  If not, you may want to rent a home.

2.  Buy real assets that will appreciation and make you money.  These are stocks, bonds, mutual funds, businesses that don't require your presence, notes or IOUs, royalties from intellectual properties, and income generating real estate. 

3.  Buying a new car isn't wise.  It depreciates as you drive it off of the parking lot.  Wait until 'your business' is working for you before you purchase a new toy.  Avoid buying a luxury item on credit because it will be a burden to you and you'll probably resent it.

4.  Keep expenses low.

5.  Mind and understand your business.  Money works all of the time!  If you love your profession, make sure your money is working for you.  Build your assets first and then go out and make those purchases that you want.

Most people have a limited mindset when it comes to money -- they have a 'lack' mindset.  They also have a 'fear' of money!  Money is not the root of all evil it helps to build hospitals and children's centers around the world.  It helps to fund research projects that could save humanity.  Stated another way, it could be said that the 'lack of money is the root of all evil' because it drags people and countries down.

The bottom line is that teens are being set-up for failure from the beginning because parents and educators don't know how to teach them about money.  Most people don't understand that your profession is different from your business.  Once you understand this, you'll be set free and money will work for you!



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Demi Lovato is a popular Disney star who recently checked into a treatment facility for cutting.  The word of self-harm or self-mutilation has been thrust into the spotlight.  Experts believe this trend is growing among teens.  Two million teens in the U.S. are harming themselves.  If you suspect your teens are cutting or harming themselves in some way, seek professional help today!

Eighteen-year-old Lovato is a successful Disney star who's not immune to the pressures of being a teenager.  She recently admitted to being bullied in school and has been homeschooled for some time.  Reports indicate that Demi got into a fight with one of her backup dancers.  This was the breaking point for her.  She's now getting the help she needs to deal with issues that have been building.

FYI:  Children harm themselves to cope with pain or to control an upsetting situation.

If you're not sure if your teens are cutting, try to catch a glimpse of teens when they adjust the sleeves of their shirts.  Try to see your teens' arms and legs.  If you notice cuts, ask your teens about them.  Get them to a doctor to prevent scarring and infection.

Cutting is not the answer for dealing with problems.  Make sure you keep the lines of communication open.  Your teens need to know they can come to you with any issue they have.  Educate yourself about cutting and self-mutilation.  The more you know the better you'll be able to help your teens.




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Parents, what are you teaching your children about bullying and what it means to be a bully?  Children learn from you and your behaviors.  If you gossip or fight with your spouse/partner, there's a good chance your children will follow in your footsteps and do the same.  If you use passive aggressive behavior to get what you want then you children may grow up to use passive aggressive behavior as well.  Take a look in the mirror and see how your actions are affecting your teens.

School administrators and teachers can only do so much when it comes to bullying.  It's up to parents and guardians to teach their teens about what is right and wrong and what is and is not acceptable.  Until this happens, bullying may continue within school systems.

How to prevent bullying

1.  Watch your actions.  Do you gossip about co-workers, bosses, friends, or relatives?  Do get into fights with your spouse/partner?  Your teens observe you and your actions will teach them how to act.  Take a step back and evaluate your behavior at home and work.  You may be surprised by what you find.  The good news is you can change your actions for the better, and you'll be a better role model for your teens.

2.  Avoid passive aggressive behavior.  Not speaking to your spouse/partner, friends, or family members to get what you want is an act of passive aggressive behavior.  This is a form of bullying.  If you refuse to speak to the people around you or pout because you didn't get your way, you're not teaching your teens how to deal with situations in a healthy manner.

3.  Teach teens to be leaders and stand up for those who are being bullied.  Bystanders who watch bullying happen aren't any better than bullies.  Teens need to know that it's all right to take a stand and to help others.

4.  Bullying occurs for many reasons.  Teens could be mimicking the actions of their parents or are being bullied.  If you teens are being bullied, find out what's happening and speak with teachers and school administrators to stop the bullying.

Parents, be active in their teens' lives.  You're responsible for raising your teens, everyone else is secondary.  Be present in their lives so you know what's going on with them.  If they don't want to communicate with you, find someone who they'll communicate with and get to the "root" of the problem.

Teach teens that bullying has consequences such as detention or expulsion.  Some parents and school districts have been sued because of bullying.  If you don't want this to happen to you then teach your teens that bullying is a weakness and 'what goes around comes around!'


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Parents mean well but sometimes they smother their teens.  It's not healthy to keep cleaning up the messes teens make in their lives.  When you don't allow teens to learn from their mistakes, you set them up for co-dependency and failure.  How will teens function when they become adults?  What will they do when parents depart this Earth?  You could be doing more harm than good by being "helicopter or hover parents" or doing everything little thing for them!

Teens need to learn from their mistakes.  If parents constantly get teens out of their messes, teens learn that someone will always take care of their mistakes and they don't have to do anything.  Teens won't grow and will become co-dependent on others.

Avoid setting teens up for failure

1.  Allow teens to make mistakes and fix them.

2.  Allow teens to become independent and make choices.

3.  Allow teens to be themselves.

4.  Ease up on being a helicopter or hover parents.

Parents, examine if you're independent or co-dependent.  Co-dependency is a two way street.  If you constantly fix your teens mistakes, you may secretly like to do this.  Don't fall into this trap.  You'll always have a place in your teens' life; co-dependency isn't the answer.

Some parents may feel obsolete if teens take on more responsibility in their life.  It's a good idea to allow teens to have responsibility.  This teaches them independence.  Isn't it better to know that teens will be able to take care of themselves when they move away or go away to college/university?  Teens that take care of their mistakes will feel good about and become independent.  Teens that become independent will able to function in the world without depending on others. 

Let teens know you're there for them if they need your help.  Allow them to figure out how to fix their mistakes or handle a problem.  If they need your assistance, they can ask you.  It's that simple!






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Some parents grew up in an environment where mistakes were frowned up by their parents or others.  Do you allow your teens to make mistakes around you?  If you don’t, you could be setting them up for failure in their adult life.  Everyone makes mistakes, it’s how you handle them that counts.

Whenever teens make a mistake, allow them to make it.  It’s an opportunity to show them how the law of cause and effect has on their mistakes.  Point out to them the consequences of their actions.   Some may be minor, others may be severe.   Mistakes allow teens to grow and develop as a person. 

Mistakes can lead to character development.  Teens will learn valuable lessons and realize they have the strength to deal with them.   Whatever they must face may seem difficult but when they’re older, they’ll realize how valuable the lessons were.

Avoid calling teens’ names such as stupid or idiot when they make a mistake.  These words are hurtful and will deflate their self-esteem and self-confidence.  And try not to point out “they’re doing something wrong.”  How do you know they’re doing something wrong?  There is more than one way to accomplish a task.  Your way may not be the only or best way.  Realizing this will make you humble.

Teens need guidance when they make mistake.  Perhaps you committed the same mistake they did when you were their age.  Remember that before you lose your temper.  These are the formative years and teens will benefit from learning from and dealing with their mistakes.  Remember, you won’t always be there to help and support them.  Learning how to deal with and handle their mistakes is a great way for teens to learn independence.

Parents, allowing teens to make mistakes is apart of growing up.  Teens are not toddlers – they can handle the “boo-boos” they experience.  Stand by their side and support them no matter what.  Remember that you were once a teenager and probably did far worse than your teens.  You may want to share that with them or not!

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Parents are under extreme pressure today.  Working to keep a roof over your family's head can stress you out and this can affect your parenting.  You may not mean to yell and scream or become passive aggressive but your actions and words can have repercussions.

Many parents function under pressure each day; your mental and physical healthy is at risk. This isn't healthy for you or your teens. When you fly they tell you to place the oxygen mask on yourself and then help your children or those next to you.  It's the same way with parenting.  If you don't take care of yourself, you won't be able to take care of your family.

Tips for handling stress

1.  Meditate.
2.  Stop being everything to everyone.
3.  Learn to say "No" and mean it.
4.  Cut back on caffeine.
5.  Start working out or step up your workouts.
6.  Schedule "Me" time.
7.  Vent to your partner, spouse, friends, or family.  Try not to "blow up" in front of your teens.
8.  Seek counseling.  There's nothing wrong with seeking help.
9.  Join groups.  What do you like to do?  Cook?  Bake?  Golf?  Swim?  Sew?  Read?  Find a group and surround yourself with like-minded people.
10.  Volunteer.  You may not think you can fit volunteering into your busy schedules but even one hour a week or month can make a difference in your life and the lives of others.

Teens absorb what's around them; they're like sponges.  Nine times out of ten they internalize your issues and make it their fault.  It's not their fault and blaming yourself won't help the situation.  Take time to evaluate the stresses in your life and do your best to get rid of them the best you can.

Thought:  Have you noticed patterns in your life that may have formed because of your family environment?  Take a step back and reflect on your teen years.  Were they full of happiness of joy or angst and sadness?  Sometimes the answers can be found by looking at the past.  Don't stay there too long because you may become overwhelmed with emotion!

Parents, it's up to you to monitor your stress levels and ensure it doesn't affect your teens.  It's important for you to spend quality time with your family but don't forget to take time for yourself.  Moms can get their hair done along with a manicure and pedicure; you may want to splurge for a massage!  Perhaps you could have a night out with your friends.  Dads can golf, fish, workout, or spend time with the guys.  Whatever you do, make sure you detox from the stresses in your life before they infect your teens with anxiety.


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A recent study from the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) at Columbia University discovered that teens that had infrequent family dinners were twice as likely to try drugs and tobacco versus teens that ate dinner with their families.  CASA's annual teen survey conducted via the internet, interviewed 1,055 teenagers ages 12 to 17 and 456 parents of teens.

It's not surprising that teens whose families didn't share family dinners or family time for that matter were more likely to try drugs and tobacco.  When most teens are left on their own, they'll be more tempted to get involved in unsavory acts because they don't have anyone to guide them to make smart choices.  Family time is important to the development of teens.  It's up to parents and guardians to provide their teens with discipline, organization, and structure which will help them become productive community members and citizens.  It's up to parents to set and enforce rules and boundaries for teens.  Your teens may not appreciate now but they will when they get older.

Tips for implementing family dinners

1.  Make family dinners mandatory -- no excuses!

2.  Choose nights during the week that work for everyone in the family.  Coordinate your schedules ahead of time and adjust for emergencies or if mom or dad has to work late.

3.  If parents work crazy schedules, coordinate ahead of time which parent will be present on what night.  It's better to have one parent at dinner than no parent at all.

4.  Make family dinners educational and fun.  Have everyone choose their favorite meal and select the night of each family member's meal.  Next, have everyone participate in making dinner.  This is a great way to teach teens nutritional values of foods.  If some meals are heavy on the calories, discover how you can substitute unhealthy ingredients for healthier ingredients.  Teens will learn they don't have to give up the foods they love, and the meals will be figure friendly!

5.  It is all right to go out to dinner once in a while.  Choose restaurants that will satisfy the appetites of all family members!

Parents and experts know that eating dinner as a family is important, but what do teens think about it?  Researchers asked teens about eating together with parents and 72% of teens believed eating dinner with their parents was very or fairly important.  Remarkably, 60% of teens eat dinner with their families approximately five times a week.  Kathleen Ferrigno, CASA's director of marketing and director of Family Day says, "Kids are actually looking for this daily ritual."  The key is not to get hung up on the time dinner takes place.  The actual meal isn't that important, it's the time spent with teens that matters the most.  And, parental involvement is important.  If parents have conflicting schedules, they can schedule family time during the week when everyone is able to be present.  Having a family meeting once a week isn't a bad idea either.

The biggest complaint some parents have is that their teens won't talk to them about their lives.  Implementing family dinners is a good way to open up the lines of communication and keep them open.  According to Joseph Califano, Jr., CASA founder and chairman and former U.S. Secretary of Health, Education and Welfare, "the more often teens have dinner with their parents, the more likely they are to report talking to their parents about what's going on in their lives."  Teens that have dinner with their parents and or guardians are less likely to smoke, drink, or use drugs.  Family time does matter even if teens won't admit it.  Implement family dinners and watch as your teens transform before your eyes!
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Teen parents are on the rise.  How can a 16-year-old take care of baby when they're still a child?  What about finishing high school?  What about college?  What kind of life can teen parents build for their child?  Perhaps mandatory parenting classes for teens 14-18 are necessary.

Teens would benefit from parenting classes in high school.  They could learn what it means to be a parent and the responsibilities that go with it.  They'll also learn how to raise a child and how demanding it can be.  More importantly, parenting classes could deter teens from having sex once they learn that raising a child isn't all fun and games!

Benefits of parenting classes for teens

1.  Classes could deter teens from having sex.
2.  Teens will see and hear what it really means to be a parent.
3.  Teen parents-to-be will receive valuable information that will help deter child abuse and neglect.
4.  Teens will see that parenting isn't all fun and games -- it's a HUGE responsibility.
5.  Parenting classes could prepare teens for the future when they're ready to become parents.  They'll know what to expect and realize that real life parenting is different from what's portrayed on TV and in movies.

FYI:  If teens do get pregnant, mandatory parenting classes could help prevent potential child abuse and neglect now and in the future. 

Parenting classes and education can make a great impact on teens.  In fact, parenting classes could include teens "shadowing" teen parents.  Shadowing will give teens a first-hand look at what it means to be a teen mom or dad.  Seeing how teen moms get up in the wee hours to feed their babies and how they juggle school could have a powerful impact on other teens.  They'll see that having a child means more responsibility they may not be ready for at an early age.

Mandatory parenting classes may not be a bad idea.  They could become apart of a school's curriculum and begin in freshman year.  Teens are not too young to know how being a parent is like having a full-time job.  It's a huge and important responsibility that requires unconditional love, patience, guidance, and acceptance.  Are teens ready for this?  No, most of them are not ready for this, especially if they don't have any love and support from parents.  They need to know that having a baby at 14 or 16 may not be in their best interest or in the best interest of a child.

Be open to having discussions with teens about what it means to have a child.  Inform them about the bills they'll have to pay and what to do if your child is sick and you don't have an understanding boss.  They need to know about the good as well as the not so good about being parents.  Perhaps information and education will cause the teen pregnancy rate to drop!
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