How do You Truly Forgive?
You've probably heard or read that forgiveness doesn't mean you condone the actions of the person who has hurt or wronged you. How do you know if you truly forgave the person or situation? This is something that has been coming up for me lately. I say I forgive my past, people, myself, and situations, but I've been told that I still need to forgive. Like me, you may have consciously forgave people and situations, but what about emotionally? If you don't feel your emotions, they'll stay stuck within your body, mind, and soul. You won't be able to move forward in life. It's important to truly forgive because it will help you move forward in life.
How do you truly forgive?
1. Feel all of your emotions. Many spiritual experts or gurus tell you not to feel your emotions because the energy will attract more negativity to your life. The opposite is true. If you don't feel all of your emotions, i.e., anger, hate, rage, sadness, despair, hopelessness, frustration, aggravation, irritation, etc. Hit a pillow, journal, work out, run, go for a walk, or do whatever will help you to process and feel your emotions. Carrying emotions that burden or weigh you down aren't healthy. They can wreak havoc on your body, mind, and soul.
2. Write the person a letter. Another technique is to write a letter to the person who hurt or wronged you but don't mail it. Tell this person how you feel and how they hurt you. Don't hold back; allow everything to pour out of you and into the letter. Once you've finished read your letter and burn it, tear it up, freeze it, or put it in a "God" box and turn it over to a higher power.
3. Say an affirmation. An example of an affirmation is, "The time has come, the time has come to let go of the past, the time has come to forgive and move forward." Another example is, "I forgive my family and embrace them with love and compassion." Or you can say, "I easily forgive others and I AM easily forgiven." You can make up your own affirmation or use the examples above.
4. Be willing to forgive. You must be willing to forgive. If you're not, you won't truly forgive people and situations. Be honest with yourself. If you're not willing to forgive, it's okay. Don't be too hard on yourself.
5. Step back and gain perspective. Why did someone hurt you? They probably weren't aware they were hurting you. They could have been too involved and wrapped up within their own pain. Most people aren't conscious of their actions and how they affect others. Be grateful if you're aware how your actions may affect others. It will make you more compassionate and understanding.
6. If you don't forgive, the person or situation will have control. Who wants this? When you forgive a person or situation, your power returns to you. Take your power back and cut the ties that bind you. Say an affirmation or prayer such as, "I now release and cut any negative chords attached to me from (fill in the blank)." If you don't forgive, you'll be forever tied to the person or situation that caused you pain. What's healthy about that?
The above steps are meant to be a guideline on how to truly forgive. Incorporate your own ideas and or other resources. You can forgive, but you need to make a conscious decision to forgive. This isn't easy if you've suffered from abuse and neglect. Remember, parents do the best they can and usually parent based on how they were raised. They wouldn't know how to raise you differently if no one questioned their parenting methods or showed them alternative methods. Unfortunately, 'Parenting 101' is not taught in school systems.
How do you know when you really forgive?
1. When you hear the person's name and it doesn't irritate you. If you hear the person's name that hurt you and you remain calm and peaceful then you know you forgave them. If you think about them without getting upset, you know you truly forgave them.
2. When you stop dwelling on what someone has done to you. When you stop thinking about what a person did to you or how a situation caused you pain, you know you truly forgave the person or situation.
3. You feel at peace. You no longer have anger, hate, guilt, shame, or resentment around a person or situation.
4. When you forgive yourself. If you can look in the mirror and say "I love you" without flinching or doubting yourself, you know you've experienced forgiveness.
5. When you can be around those who've hurt you without flinching or harboring anger towards them. Thanks to social media, you can connect with family and friends, the same people who may have hurt you. If you can look at their pictures and communicate with them without thinking about how they caused you pain and ways to harm them, you definitely forgave them!
If you don't forgive, you'll lash out at people who haven't wronged you because you're still filled with anger and hate. You'll attract more negativity into your life which can eat you alive. Forgiveness begins with you. Shift your feelings and thoughts and you'll change your life. Forgiveness is for you and you alone. Once you forgive people and situations, you don't have to hang out with them. It's all right and may be necessary to limit the amount of time you speak to them. Forgiving others means lifting you and your soul to a higher place. You'll break the chains that have kept you bound and move forward in life. If you don't forgive, you'll suffer in silence and that's no way to live. Forgive today and tomorrow watch as the sun rise above your head.
How do you truly forgive?
1. Feel all of your emotions. Many spiritual experts or gurus tell you not to feel your emotions because the energy will attract more negativity to your life. The opposite is true. If you don't feel all of your emotions, i.e., anger, hate, rage, sadness, despair, hopelessness, frustration, aggravation, irritation, etc. Hit a pillow, journal, work out, run, go for a walk, or do whatever will help you to process and feel your emotions. Carrying emotions that burden or weigh you down aren't healthy. They can wreak havoc on your body, mind, and soul.
2. Write the person a letter. Another technique is to write a letter to the person who hurt or wronged you but don't mail it. Tell this person how you feel and how they hurt you. Don't hold back; allow everything to pour out of you and into the letter. Once you've finished read your letter and burn it, tear it up, freeze it, or put it in a "God" box and turn it over to a higher power.
3. Say an affirmation. An example of an affirmation is, "The time has come, the time has come to let go of the past, the time has come to forgive and move forward." Another example is, "I forgive my family and embrace them with love and compassion." Or you can say, "I easily forgive others and I AM easily forgiven." You can make up your own affirmation or use the examples above.
4. Be willing to forgive. You must be willing to forgive. If you're not, you won't truly forgive people and situations. Be honest with yourself. If you're not willing to forgive, it's okay. Don't be too hard on yourself.
5. Step back and gain perspective. Why did someone hurt you? They probably weren't aware they were hurting you. They could have been too involved and wrapped up within their own pain. Most people aren't conscious of their actions and how they affect others. Be grateful if you're aware how your actions may affect others. It will make you more compassionate and understanding.
6. If you don't forgive, the person or situation will have control. Who wants this? When you forgive a person or situation, your power returns to you. Take your power back and cut the ties that bind you. Say an affirmation or prayer such as, "I now release and cut any negative chords attached to me from (fill in the blank)." If you don't forgive, you'll be forever tied to the person or situation that caused you pain. What's healthy about that?
The above steps are meant to be a guideline on how to truly forgive. Incorporate your own ideas and or other resources. You can forgive, but you need to make a conscious decision to forgive. This isn't easy if you've suffered from abuse and neglect. Remember, parents do the best they can and usually parent based on how they were raised. They wouldn't know how to raise you differently if no one questioned their parenting methods or showed them alternative methods. Unfortunately, 'Parenting 101' is not taught in school systems.
How do you know when you really forgive?
1. When you hear the person's name and it doesn't irritate you. If you hear the person's name that hurt you and you remain calm and peaceful then you know you forgave them. If you think about them without getting upset, you know you truly forgave them.
2. When you stop dwelling on what someone has done to you. When you stop thinking about what a person did to you or how a situation caused you pain, you know you truly forgave the person or situation.
3. You feel at peace. You no longer have anger, hate, guilt, shame, or resentment around a person or situation.
4. When you forgive yourself. If you can look in the mirror and say "I love you" without flinching or doubting yourself, you know you've experienced forgiveness.
5. When you can be around those who've hurt you without flinching or harboring anger towards them. Thanks to social media, you can connect with family and friends, the same people who may have hurt you. If you can look at their pictures and communicate with them without thinking about how they caused you pain and ways to harm them, you definitely forgave them!
If you don't forgive, you'll lash out at people who haven't wronged you because you're still filled with anger and hate. You'll attract more negativity into your life which can eat you alive. Forgiveness begins with you. Shift your feelings and thoughts and you'll change your life. Forgiveness is for you and you alone. Once you forgive people and situations, you don't have to hang out with them. It's all right and may be necessary to limit the amount of time you speak to them. Forgiving others means lifting you and your soul to a higher place. You'll break the chains that have kept you bound and move forward in life. If you don't forgive, you'll suffer in silence and that's no way to live. Forgive today and tomorrow watch as the sun rise above your head.
The Death of Osama bin Laden Can Affect Teens in Different Ways
My 17-year-old niece and 14-year-old nephew like your children have been bombarded with media about the death of Osama bin Laden. What are you telling your teens about his death? Has the discussion even come up? How do you handle it? What if you're highly religious and believe in the 10 Commandments, one of which is "Thou shall not kill?" Your teen could say to you, "If it's a sin to kill, why are people rejoicing about Osama's death, even though he was seen as an enemy? Isn't this hypocritical?" Some teens may not be affected by Osama's "death" because they were too little at the time of the 9/11 attack. Whatever you do, listen to your teens, and ask them open-ended questions.
Do you bring up the subject of Osama bin Laden's death if your teens don't? According to Dr. Drew and other "experts," they believe you should discuss Osama's death because the media is running rampant with online, print, and live news coverage of the event. It's best to speak to them about it and get their viewpoints. They may not have any viewpoint about the event, but it's better to be safe than sorry.
Questions teens may have
1. Why are people rejoicing over Osama's death? Isn't all life precious, even though someone is seen as an enemy?
2. Does this mean we're safe?
3. What will the repercussions be from this event?
4. Why does this affect me if I don't believe in solving violence with violence?
5. What can be done to avoid terrorism?
6. Why can't people just get along? Hating people seems like such a waste of time.
7. How do we know if he really is dead? I didn't see his body.
8. If the U.S. releases pictures, how do I know if they're real or not? I wasn't there to witness Osama's death.
9. Why do adults think killing is right?
10. What does this mean about the airport? If we visit grandma and grandpa, will the security measures change?
11. Is this the end of terrorism?
12. Why can't people learn to get along?
13. What's the point of terrorism?
14. Why aren't we learning from this event?
15. The U.S. has a presidential election coming up in 2012. Don't people think it is convenient Osama bin Laden was killed before the 2012 election? Why now?
16. What can we do to move forward?
17. If our family is religious and you tell me it's wrong to kill another person, why was it all right to "off" Osama bin Laden?
18. Why are you talking to me about this?
19. What does this mean for my Muslim friends and classmates?
20. I don't how I feel about Osama's death. What do you think?
Teens may have more questions in addition to what is posted above. Don't shut off communication because you may be uncomfortable talking about the event. Be open and honest and if you don't know how you feel about it, make sure your teens know this. Schools may or may not be addressing this event in your teen's history or social science classes. It's important to keep the lines of communication open, especially if teens are fearful or anxious. The most important thing to do is love your teens and let them know you're there for them no matter what.
Do you bring up the subject of Osama bin Laden's death if your teens don't? According to Dr. Drew and other "experts," they believe you should discuss Osama's death because the media is running rampant with online, print, and live news coverage of the event. It's best to speak to them about it and get their viewpoints. They may not have any viewpoint about the event, but it's better to be safe than sorry.
Questions teens may have
1. Why are people rejoicing over Osama's death? Isn't all life precious, even though someone is seen as an enemy?
2. Does this mean we're safe?
3. What will the repercussions be from this event?
4. Why does this affect me if I don't believe in solving violence with violence?
5. What can be done to avoid terrorism?
6. Why can't people just get along? Hating people seems like such a waste of time.
7. How do we know if he really is dead? I didn't see his body.
8. If the U.S. releases pictures, how do I know if they're real or not? I wasn't there to witness Osama's death.
9. Why do adults think killing is right?
10. What does this mean about the airport? If we visit grandma and grandpa, will the security measures change?
11. Is this the end of terrorism?
12. Why can't people learn to get along?
13. What's the point of terrorism?
14. Why aren't we learning from this event?
15. The U.S. has a presidential election coming up in 2012. Don't people think it is convenient Osama bin Laden was killed before the 2012 election? Why now?
16. What can we do to move forward?
17. If our family is religious and you tell me it's wrong to kill another person, why was it all right to "off" Osama bin Laden?
18. Why are you talking to me about this?
19. What does this mean for my Muslim friends and classmates?
20. I don't how I feel about Osama's death. What do you think?
Teens may have more questions in addition to what is posted above. Don't shut off communication because you may be uncomfortable talking about the event. Be open and honest and if you don't know how you feel about it, make sure your teens know this. Schools may or may not be addressing this event in your teen's history or social science classes. It's important to keep the lines of communication open, especially if teens are fearful or anxious. The most important thing to do is love your teens and let them know you're there for them no matter what.
10 Reasons Teenage Girls Get Pregnant
Many teen girls get pregnant before they're ready to become parents. Being a parent is a full-time responsibility that most teenage girls are not ready for. Most of them end up quitting school and go on welfare. With condoms readily available in retail stores and Planned Parenthood which provides contraceptives to teens, why do teenage girls get pregnant? Let's take a look at this phenomenon.
10 reasons teenage girls get pregnant
1. They don't use birth control. Some teen boys and girls don't know how to properly use a condom. Girls may not be aware they can go to Planned Parenthood and get information on contraceptives.
2. They're afraid to speak to their parents. Many teen girls are terrified to speak to their parents about sex as much as parents are afraid to speak to their teen girls about it. Poor communication and education can lead to teenage girls becoming pregnant.
3. They succumb to the pressure of having sex. Some teenage girls are starved for love and attention and give into having sex, even though they don't want to or are not ready. They're afraid of losing boyfriends and have sex to hold onto their guys. The next thing they know, they're pregnant and the guys are nowhere to be found.
4. The condom breaks. Believe it or not, condoms break which results in unwanted teenage pregnancies.
5. They want to be loved. Many teenage girls come from dysfunctional homes where abuse and neglect runs rampant. They're not loved and believe a baby will give them the love they want. Children are a HUGE emotional, financial, and physical responsibility that most teenage girls aren't ready for.
6. They're curious about sex but are unprepared. Some teenage girls may be curious about sex and want to try it. However, they don't use protection and wind up pregnant.
7. They're sexually assaulted. Some teenage girls are sexually assaulted and become pregnant by their attackers. Not only do they suffer a horrific event, they become pregnant which complicates the situation.
8. They're devout religious followers and don't believe in using protection. Some religions frown upon contraception. Teenage girls who are brought up within strict religious cultures become pregnant as a result of following the beliefs of others.
9. They think sex is the same as love. Some teenage girls have low or no self-esteem. They engage in risky behavior such as having unprotected sex because they want to feel loved. This behavior results in teenage pregnancy.
10. They're starved for attention. Some teenage girls want to get pregnant because they see other teen girls receive a lot of attention. Reality shows like MTV's 16 & Pregnant and Teen Mom adds fuel to the fire. Not only are these girls "reality stars," they earn money to tell their story and have it broadcasted to millions of viewers. Most of them are not mature enough to handle media attention; they could use counseling to work through emotional issues they may have.
Getting pregnant to receive attention or love isn't a good idea. A child is a major responsibility that you're probably not prepared for. Heck, some adults aren't prepared to be parents in their late 20s or early 30s and 40s! Enjoy your teenage years because they'll go by quickly. Relish every moment you have and get to know yourself. If you're unhappy, seek help to figure out why. If you come from a dysfunctional background, you can break the cycle and live a happy and fulfilled life. Reexamine your beliefs and thoughts -- shift them and you'll shift your life!
10 reasons teenage girls get pregnant
1. They don't use birth control. Some teen boys and girls don't know how to properly use a condom. Girls may not be aware they can go to Planned Parenthood and get information on contraceptives.
2. They're afraid to speak to their parents. Many teen girls are terrified to speak to their parents about sex as much as parents are afraid to speak to their teen girls about it. Poor communication and education can lead to teenage girls becoming pregnant.
3. They succumb to the pressure of having sex. Some teenage girls are starved for love and attention and give into having sex, even though they don't want to or are not ready. They're afraid of losing boyfriends and have sex to hold onto their guys. The next thing they know, they're pregnant and the guys are nowhere to be found.
4. The condom breaks. Believe it or not, condoms break which results in unwanted teenage pregnancies.
5. They want to be loved. Many teenage girls come from dysfunctional homes where abuse and neglect runs rampant. They're not loved and believe a baby will give them the love they want. Children are a HUGE emotional, financial, and physical responsibility that most teenage girls aren't ready for.
6. They're curious about sex but are unprepared. Some teenage girls may be curious about sex and want to try it. However, they don't use protection and wind up pregnant.
7. They're sexually assaulted. Some teenage girls are sexually assaulted and become pregnant by their attackers. Not only do they suffer a horrific event, they become pregnant which complicates the situation.
8. They're devout religious followers and don't believe in using protection. Some religions frown upon contraception. Teenage girls who are brought up within strict religious cultures become pregnant as a result of following the beliefs of others.
9. They think sex is the same as love. Some teenage girls have low or no self-esteem. They engage in risky behavior such as having unprotected sex because they want to feel loved. This behavior results in teenage pregnancy.
10. They're starved for attention. Some teenage girls want to get pregnant because they see other teen girls receive a lot of attention. Reality shows like MTV's 16 & Pregnant and Teen Mom adds fuel to the fire. Not only are these girls "reality stars," they earn money to tell their story and have it broadcasted to millions of viewers. Most of them are not mature enough to handle media attention; they could use counseling to work through emotional issues they may have.
Getting pregnant to receive attention or love isn't a good idea. A child is a major responsibility that you're probably not prepared for. Heck, some adults aren't prepared to be parents in their late 20s or early 30s and 40s! Enjoy your teenage years because they'll go by quickly. Relish every moment you have and get to know yourself. If you're unhappy, seek help to figure out why. If you come from a dysfunctional background, you can break the cycle and live a happy and fulfilled life. Reexamine your beliefs and thoughts -- shift them and you'll shift your life!
Who Monitors What Teens Post on Facebook?
I just read a disturbing article about the following, "A 15-year-old girl told police she was walking home with her 12-year-old sister, her boyfriend and another 13-year-old girl in Somerset on March 2 when they were approached by a group of six teens on Center Avenue." Of course, the argument started because of gossip. Good Lord! Teens need to get the facts before they take matters into their own hands. They also need to learn how to handle situations in a mature fashion. "Police are charging three teens, a 13-year-old girl and two 15-year-old girls, with aggravated assault, simple assault, harassment, disorderly conduct and recklessly endangering another person." Hopefully, these teens receive some type of counseling. Otherwise, they could be on a self-destructive path that could lead them to 30 to life!
One of the teen's involved in the assault videotaped the fight and posted it on Facebook could have serious repercussions. This makes me wonder, who's monitoring what's being posted on Facebook? Why would Facebook allow this and other lewd videos to be posted? I know people will scream "First Amendment" right but perhaps that's stretching it. Teens don't realize what they post on FB and other social media websites will be there for a long time. You can kiss your chances of getting into college/university goodbye. Believe it or not, administrators do look at social media websites to see what you post.
The teen who posted the video doesn't understand what "incriminating evidence or accessory to a crime" means. It means that you're SOL! The teen who posted the video made the job of the Somerset Police Department easy. It will make the job of the judge a lot easier as well. If the teens are tried as adults, it will send a message to teens throughout the U.S. that bullying won't be tolerated and you could be tried as an adult.
Bullying has become an epidemic that's out of control and now it's winding up on Facebook and other social media websites. Parents, make sure you monitor what your teens post on social media websites like Facebook and stay involved in their lives. They'll test you just like you may have tested your parents but don't give up. If Facebook won't monitor what teens post then it's your job. The internet has many benefits but it also has many drawbacks. Keep your teens safe and watch what they post!
One of the teen's involved in the assault videotaped the fight and posted it on Facebook could have serious repercussions. This makes me wonder, who's monitoring what's being posted on Facebook? Why would Facebook allow this and other lewd videos to be posted? I know people will scream "First Amendment" right but perhaps that's stretching it. Teens don't realize what they post on FB and other social media websites will be there for a long time. You can kiss your chances of getting into college/university goodbye. Believe it or not, administrators do look at social media websites to see what you post.
The teen who posted the video doesn't understand what "incriminating evidence or accessory to a crime" means. It means that you're SOL! The teen who posted the video made the job of the Somerset Police Department easy. It will make the job of the judge a lot easier as well. If the teens are tried as adults, it will send a message to teens throughout the U.S. that bullying won't be tolerated and you could be tried as an adult.
Bullying has become an epidemic that's out of control and now it's winding up on Facebook and other social media websites. Parents, make sure you monitor what your teens post on social media websites like Facebook and stay involved in their lives. They'll test you just like you may have tested your parents but don't give up. If Facebook won't monitor what teens post then it's your job. The internet has many benefits but it also has many drawbacks. Keep your teens safe and watch what they post!
Legislatures Want to Punish Teens for Sexting
I've said it once, I've said it twice, and I'll say it again, "Being a teen in the 21st century isn't like it was back in the day." According to the article "Legislatures grapple with how to punish to teen 'sexting'" published in The Cleveland Plain Dealer on March 27, 2011, "some U.S. states have amended their statutes on child pornography, obscenity, or Internet crimes. Many allow juvenile offenders to be charged with a misdemeanor or a lesser offense, so they can qualify for diversion programs and have their records expunged." The laws are receiving mixed responses. Some applaud the laws while others believe they intrude on First Amendment rights. Either way, it's not a good idea for teens to be 'sexting' one another.
What is sexting? According to Wikipedia, "sexting is the act of sending sexually explicit messages or photographs, primarily between mobile phones. The term was first popularized around 2005, and is a portmanteau of sex and texting, where the latter is meant in the wide sense of sending a text possibly with images." If teens are sexting one another, they obviously have nothing better to do. Depending on their state, teens could face jail time. Just what a parent wants -- for their 16-year-old to go to jail and or juvenile hall.
Not only is sexting harmful on emotional and mental levels, it could be physically dangerous. What happens if pictures get into the hands of pedophiles? What happens if grandma and grandpa see the pictures? What happens when the entire school sees lewd photographs of teens? Many people can get hurt. Sexting can do a lot of damage to the self-esteem and self-confidence of teens.
Should teens be prosecuted for sexting? Each state differs. For example, teens who go to court and face Mathias H. Heck, Jr., prosecuting attorney for Montgomery County, Ohio, must hand over their cell phones. They're required to "perform community service in addition to being educated about age-appropriate sexual behavior and the legal and social consequences of sexting." Some may feel that the punishment is too light, while others may believe it's too harsh. The bottom line is that sexting isn't something to 'fluff' off and ignore. Teens can really get hurt because of it.
Parents, how do you know if your teens are sexting or not? Teens, why would you want to participate in sexting? What's the appeal of it? The more you know about sexting the better you'll understand the consequences of it. Laws today are not like they were back in 1990s, 1980s, or 1970s. Legislators are cracking down on behavior such as sexting and will do anything to 'squash' it. You can scream First Amendment right all you want but some states won't listen to it. Besides, what you put on the internet will stay there. You may believe you're removing pictures but hackers could still get to your pictures. Remember, there are computer files that you can't see -- they're behind the scene. And, if you participate in sexting, how will that affect your chances of getting into the college or university of your choice? You could be doing more damage to you and others than you realize.
For more information, please read The New York Times articles, "What They're Saying About Sexting," an article based on teen interviews and focus groups about sexting along with "States Struggle With Minors' Sexting."
What is sexting? According to Wikipedia, "sexting is the act of sending sexually explicit messages or photographs, primarily between mobile phones. The term was first popularized around 2005, and is a portmanteau of sex and texting, where the latter is meant in the wide sense of sending a text possibly with images." If teens are sexting one another, they obviously have nothing better to do. Depending on their state, teens could face jail time. Just what a parent wants -- for their 16-year-old to go to jail and or juvenile hall.
Not only is sexting harmful on emotional and mental levels, it could be physically dangerous. What happens if pictures get into the hands of pedophiles? What happens if grandma and grandpa see the pictures? What happens when the entire school sees lewd photographs of teens? Many people can get hurt. Sexting can do a lot of damage to the self-esteem and self-confidence of teens.
Should teens be prosecuted for sexting? Each state differs. For example, teens who go to court and face Mathias H. Heck, Jr., prosecuting attorney for Montgomery County, Ohio, must hand over their cell phones. They're required to "perform community service in addition to being educated about age-appropriate sexual behavior and the legal and social consequences of sexting." Some may feel that the punishment is too light, while others may believe it's too harsh. The bottom line is that sexting isn't something to 'fluff' off and ignore. Teens can really get hurt because of it.
Parents, how do you know if your teens are sexting or not? Teens, why would you want to participate in sexting? What's the appeal of it? The more you know about sexting the better you'll understand the consequences of it. Laws today are not like they were back in 1990s, 1980s, or 1970s. Legislators are cracking down on behavior such as sexting and will do anything to 'squash' it. You can scream First Amendment right all you want but some states won't listen to it. Besides, what you put on the internet will stay there. You may believe you're removing pictures but hackers could still get to your pictures. Remember, there are computer files that you can't see -- they're behind the scene. And, if you participate in sexting, how will that affect your chances of getting into the college or university of your choice? You could be doing more damage to you and others than you realize.
For more information, please read The New York Times articles, "What They're Saying About Sexting," an article based on teen interviews and focus groups about sexting along with "States Struggle With Minors' Sexting."
Could the Parents of Your Teen's Friends Kill Them with Alcohol?
I read an interesting article in Good Housekeeping about 17-year-old Shelby Allen who died after consuming 15 shots of Vodka. Whoa! That's a lot of alcohol for an adult, let alone a teenager to consume. Shelby was an athlete, honors student, and shopper; she was your typical teenage girl. Shelby's mom reluctantly allowed her daughter to spend the night at her friend's house. She thought her daughter would be safe. Unfortunately, she was wrong. Shelby's mom didn't know her daughter along with her friend would stop at another friend's house where drinking was happening. This particular friend's family had a full bar. There's nothing wrong with this as long as it's for adults only. Teenagers are curious and won't hesitate to try alcohol. Shelby and her family found out the hard way that too much alcohol can and will kill you. It's a tragic story and end to a promising life that could have been prevented.
Having an open bar with teenagers in the home may not be a good idea. If you do have a bar and keep alcohol in the home, lock it up and hide the key. Or, purchase an electronic lock and periodically change the combination. Also, there is no such thing as 'safe drinking' where teenagers are concerned. They drink to get stinking drunk not to enjoy a fine bottle of fine wine with dinner to discuss politics or the paintings of an artist. They're teens and want to party!
Parents who think it's better to allow teens drink while under supervision (social hosting) are kidding themselves. If something goes wrong as it did in Shelby's case, you're facing a lawsuit. Twenty-seven states in the U.S. have 'social hosting' laws that basically state that parents who 'host' parties are breaking the law. That's just how it is in the U.S. or the 'sue USA' as it's known in the 21st century. The argument to 'social hosting' is, "If someone puts a fifth of vodka or whiskey in front of you, it's your choice if you're going to drink it or not." However, when you're a teenager, you're not legal to drink. Technically, you're breaking the law.
Some parents would argue that teens that drink and get sick from drinking too much alcohol will learn the dangers of alcohol and perhaps be deterred from touching it again. This may work for some teens and not others. Some teenagers may have extremely high 'addictive' personalities and could become teen alcoholics. Drink a large amount of alcohol is a deadly and difficult way to find out.
Binge drinking has decreased among teenagers but it's the attitude of parents who believe it's good for teens to build up a tolerance for alcohol and other drugs. The brain doesn't stop developing until the age of 20. Drinking large amounts of alcohol can and will affect the growth process. Perhaps parents need a reality check and a picture of a teenager's brain that's been damaged from consuming alcohol.
FYI: If you believe that drinking alcohol is safer than hardcore drugs, you're wrong. It's just as deadly.
Parents, times have changed. Teenagers are no longer consuming beer like you did back in the day. Keg parties are a thing of the past. Teenagers have access to hard liquor such as vodka, gin, whiskey, Jägermeister, tequila, brandy, and rum. They drink double, triple, and quadruple the amount their bodies can handle. If you're providing these and other alcoholic beverages, you could be held responsible if anything goes wrong. Think about this the next time you have the 'urge' to host a safe party for teenagers. It could be your last -- it could be the last for the teenagers at the party.
Talk to your teens about the dangers of consuming alcohol, especially when you've had too much. Explain to them how the body relaxes and it's possible to choke on your own vomit; this is how some rock stars have died. Make sure your teens know they can call you for anything, day or night. Save the yelling and screaming for when you get home, although it probably won't do any good. Tell your teenagers to call 911 if someone consumed too much alcohol. It could save a life or two.
Having an open bar with teenagers in the home may not be a good idea. If you do have a bar and keep alcohol in the home, lock it up and hide the key. Or, purchase an electronic lock and periodically change the combination. Also, there is no such thing as 'safe drinking' where teenagers are concerned. They drink to get stinking drunk not to enjoy a fine bottle of fine wine with dinner to discuss politics or the paintings of an artist. They're teens and want to party!
Parents who think it's better to allow teens drink while under supervision (social hosting) are kidding themselves. If something goes wrong as it did in Shelby's case, you're facing a lawsuit. Twenty-seven states in the U.S. have 'social hosting' laws that basically state that parents who 'host' parties are breaking the law. That's just how it is in the U.S. or the 'sue USA' as it's known in the 21st century. The argument to 'social hosting' is, "If someone puts a fifth of vodka or whiskey in front of you, it's your choice if you're going to drink it or not." However, when you're a teenager, you're not legal to drink. Technically, you're breaking the law.
Some parents would argue that teens that drink and get sick from drinking too much alcohol will learn the dangers of alcohol and perhaps be deterred from touching it again. This may work for some teens and not others. Some teenagers may have extremely high 'addictive' personalities and could become teen alcoholics. Drink a large amount of alcohol is a deadly and difficult way to find out.
Binge drinking has decreased among teenagers but it's the attitude of parents who believe it's good for teens to build up a tolerance for alcohol and other drugs. The brain doesn't stop developing until the age of 20. Drinking large amounts of alcohol can and will affect the growth process. Perhaps parents need a reality check and a picture of a teenager's brain that's been damaged from consuming alcohol.
FYI: If you believe that drinking alcohol is safer than hardcore drugs, you're wrong. It's just as deadly.
Parents, times have changed. Teenagers are no longer consuming beer like you did back in the day. Keg parties are a thing of the past. Teenagers have access to hard liquor such as vodka, gin, whiskey, Jägermeister, tequila, brandy, and rum. They drink double, triple, and quadruple the amount their bodies can handle. If you're providing these and other alcoholic beverages, you could be held responsible if anything goes wrong. Think about this the next time you have the 'urge' to host a safe party for teenagers. It could be your last -- it could be the last for the teenagers at the party.
Talk to your teens about the dangers of consuming alcohol, especially when you've had too much. Explain to them how the body relaxes and it's possible to choke on your own vomit; this is how some rock stars have died. Make sure your teens know they can call you for anything, day or night. Save the yelling and screaming for when you get home, although it probably won't do any good. Tell your teenagers to call 911 if someone consumed too much alcohol. It could save a life or two.
Is There a Secret Message in Your Teen's Facebook Status?
Is your teen disguising her Facebook status to keep you in the dark? Yes, she is. In the 21st century, your teen does most of her socializing online. She doesn’t always want you to know what’s going on in her life. And, she doesn’t want you to be a friend because you’re her parents. You have good intentions but your teen doesn’t see it that way. This creates a dilemma for your teen. Does she close her Facebook account or disguise her status? Your teen may do both!
Do you remember when you were a teen? Did you want your parents to know your every move? No, you probably didn’t. Your teen feels the same way. This is why she uses ‘code words and phrases’ when she updates her FB status. She can’t post candid updates because you’re reading her status updates; they’re not for your eyes. Your teen found a way around this by posting a FB status that’s intended for her friends and you. Unfortunately, you won’t be able to ‘decode’ the message. It’s a bummer for you but not for your teen.
Example: If your teen experienced a breakup, how would you know? Your teen may update her FB status with a line from a song, movie, television series, play, poem, or favorite actor/actress. You may think it is ‘sweet’ but it has a hidden meaning that you won’t get. When you comment on the status, your teen will probably roll her eyes or laugh because you didn’t get the meaning.
Your teen is probably more fluent in pop culture than you are. Do you understand the slang of today’s youth? Are you familiar with certain celebrities and ‘pop’ stars? If you are, good for you for being ‘hip’ in pop culture. If not, you may want to educate yourself about pop culture.
Like it or not, your teen is sophisticated and knows how to use technology. They live in the public eye unlike you did 20 or more years ago. However, they want they’re privacy. Your teen may deactivate her FB page and then reactivate it the next day. Why take the time to do this? No one be able to see her stuff or post comments on her status update. She can reactivate it the next time and begin socializing again. It’s as if she has her own club. This is really creative and sophisticated.
Perhaps FB or some other social network will take a cue from Sonico, a Latin American network that allows users to group their contacts. What does this means for parents? If your teen places you in the ‘family’ group, you won’t be able to see what she posted because you’re not in the ‘friend’ group. Then again, you could insist on being placed in the ‘friend’ group. It’s a conundrum for teens and parents.
Do you remember when you were a teen? Did you want your parents to know your every move? No, you probably didn’t. Your teen feels the same way. This is why she uses ‘code words and phrases’ when she updates her FB status. She can’t post candid updates because you’re reading her status updates; they’re not for your eyes. Your teen found a way around this by posting a FB status that’s intended for her friends and you. Unfortunately, you won’t be able to ‘decode’ the message. It’s a bummer for you but not for your teen.
Example: If your teen experienced a breakup, how would you know? Your teen may update her FB status with a line from a song, movie, television series, play, poem, or favorite actor/actress. You may think it is ‘sweet’ but it has a hidden meaning that you won’t get. When you comment on the status, your teen will probably roll her eyes or laugh because you didn’t get the meaning.
Your teen is probably more fluent in pop culture than you are. Do you understand the slang of today’s youth? Are you familiar with certain celebrities and ‘pop’ stars? If you are, good for you for being ‘hip’ in pop culture. If not, you may want to educate yourself about pop culture.
Like it or not, your teen is sophisticated and knows how to use technology. They live in the public eye unlike you did 20 or more years ago. However, they want they’re privacy. Your teen may deactivate her FB page and then reactivate it the next day. Why take the time to do this? No one be able to see her stuff or post comments on her status update. She can reactivate it the next time and begin socializing again. It’s as if she has her own club. This is really creative and sophisticated.
Perhaps FB or some other social network will take a cue from Sonico, a Latin American network that allows users to group their contacts. What does this means for parents? If your teen places you in the ‘family’ group, you won’t be able to see what she posted because you’re not in the ‘friend’ group. Then again, you could insist on being placed in the ‘friend’ group. It’s a conundrum for teens and parents.
The Effects of Domestic Violence on Childhood Development
Children brought up in with domestic violence may experience stunted childhood development. Most children go from childhood to adulthood almost overnight because they have to learn quickly how to survive. If they don't, they could suffer an early death if there isn't an intervention. Children don't deserve to be abused, no one does. Men and woman need to learn that domestic violence has dire consequences on children. The sooner this is learned the better. Perhaps children everywhere will be freed from suffering within a violent home environment.
The Effects of Domestic Violence on Childhood Development
Learned to be prepared for anything. Most children who grow up within a hostile environment learn from an early age to be prepared for anything. If their father is an alcoholic, they may not know what they'll find when they come from school. This leaves them to feel edgy and nervous. They also have to think fast in case dad tries to take a swing at them. They must protect themselves the best they can until mom or an older sibling comes home.
Children tend be introverted rather than extroverted. Most children brought up within domestic violence are silent. They've been told not to say anything to anyone about the situation at home. They lose their voice and become lost within themselves. While their peers are happy and cheerful and try out for sports or the school play, they're quiet and reserved. They don't speak up because if they speak up at home, they could suffer for it.
Children have a heavy sense of responsibility than their peers. Children go from childhood to adulthood in less than 60 seconds. They'll have to cook and clean and make sure the house is kept. They become the 'parents' and end up being robbed of their childhood.
Behavior problems. Children could become extremely aggressive and have violent outbursts. They don't have a safe outlet for releasing their emotions. If they show emotion at home, they could suffer repercussions like being hit or punched. Their emotions are bottled up; they're like a pressure cooker waiting to let out the steam.
Emotional and social development may be stifled. Children brought up within domestic violence can suffer from low self-confidence and low self-esteem. Their feelings become numb as a way to protect them. They may not understand or know how to interact with their peers because they've had more responsibility put onto them. They could develop issues with authority figures. After all, most children raise themselves and see authority figures as a nuisance or useless. If children have been raising themselves from an early age, it makes sent they wouldn't believe in having a boss, supervisor, or manager. They wouldn't believe in authority because where was the 'authority' when they were growing up?
Academic problems. Children may have issues concentrating in school. If they're not getting adequate sleep, they could fall asleep in class which can get them into trouble. They may not have respect for the teacher or principal because they're 'authority figures' and children will have issues with them. Functioning in school isn't easy -- it can cause truancy.
Feeling they don't belong anywhere. Children may feel their life is useless -- what's the point? They may feel they don't belong anywhere. This can lead to 'suicidal' tendencies and thoughts. Suicide becomes a way out of the horrific situation. It will stop the pain.
The effect of domestic violence on childhood development is sad and unnecessary. Men and woman who grew up with domestic violence need to get help before they begin dating, get married, and have children; if they don't their children will suffer because they did. No one deserves to be live in a hostile environment. Luckily, the awareness of domestic violence is spreading more and more each year. If you're in a violent situation, get out today so you can live a better life tomorrow. If you'd like to more about domestic violence, contact your local shelter and inquire as to how you can volunteer. Children are innocent victims -- they don't deserve to be used and abused.
The Effects of Domestic Violence on Childhood Development
Learned to be prepared for anything. Most children who grow up within a hostile environment learn from an early age to be prepared for anything. If their father is an alcoholic, they may not know what they'll find when they come from school. This leaves them to feel edgy and nervous. They also have to think fast in case dad tries to take a swing at them. They must protect themselves the best they can until mom or an older sibling comes home.
Children tend be introverted rather than extroverted. Most children brought up within domestic violence are silent. They've been told not to say anything to anyone about the situation at home. They lose their voice and become lost within themselves. While their peers are happy and cheerful and try out for sports or the school play, they're quiet and reserved. They don't speak up because if they speak up at home, they could suffer for it.
Children have a heavy sense of responsibility than their peers. Children go from childhood to adulthood in less than 60 seconds. They'll have to cook and clean and make sure the house is kept. They become the 'parents' and end up being robbed of their childhood.
Behavior problems. Children could become extremely aggressive and have violent outbursts. They don't have a safe outlet for releasing their emotions. If they show emotion at home, they could suffer repercussions like being hit or punched. Their emotions are bottled up; they're like a pressure cooker waiting to let out the steam.
Emotional and social development may be stifled. Children brought up within domestic violence can suffer from low self-confidence and low self-esteem. Their feelings become numb as a way to protect them. They may not understand or know how to interact with their peers because they've had more responsibility put onto them. They could develop issues with authority figures. After all, most children raise themselves and see authority figures as a nuisance or useless. If children have been raising themselves from an early age, it makes sent they wouldn't believe in having a boss, supervisor, or manager. They wouldn't believe in authority because where was the 'authority' when they were growing up?
Academic problems. Children may have issues concentrating in school. If they're not getting adequate sleep, they could fall asleep in class which can get them into trouble. They may not have respect for the teacher or principal because they're 'authority figures' and children will have issues with them. Functioning in school isn't easy -- it can cause truancy.
Feeling they don't belong anywhere. Children may feel their life is useless -- what's the point? They may feel they don't belong anywhere. This can lead to 'suicidal' tendencies and thoughts. Suicide becomes a way out of the horrific situation. It will stop the pain.
The effect of domestic violence on childhood development is sad and unnecessary. Men and woman who grew up with domestic violence need to get help before they begin dating, get married, and have children; if they don't their children will suffer because they did. No one deserves to be live in a hostile environment. Luckily, the awareness of domestic violence is spreading more and more each year. If you're in a violent situation, get out today so you can live a better life tomorrow. If you'd like to more about domestic violence, contact your local shelter and inquire as to how you can volunteer. Children are innocent victims -- they don't deserve to be used and abused.
Overcoming Domestic Abuse -- Let Go of the Past and Move Forward in Life
Domestic violence is a horrible experience that can damage you for life. It's more common for women and children to find themselves in domestic abuse situations. Woman sometimes marry men who seem charming, charismatic, and perfect (there's no such thing) but then something significant happens such as a job loss and the men turn into abusers. Some women stay with abusive men because they feel they can't find someone better. Their self-esteem and confidence are damaged, and they begin to believe the lies their abusers tell them. Abusers are fantastic manipulators. They emotionally, mentally, and psychologically 'beat down' their victims.
It's interesting that most men who were abused as children rarely speak about it. There's shame around abuse because men are taught they have to be strong, i.e., real men don't cry. To admit they were abused takes great courage.
More than often abusers were abused as children. It's a vicious cycle until someone breaks it. If you find yourself in a domestic violence situation, get out now! If you've been in a domestic violence situation, congratulations for getting out of it! The past is over and it's time to move on with your life. The time is now.
Overcoming Domestic Abuse - How to Let Go of Your Past and Move On
Seek help from a licensed counselor. For some reason, therapy still has a stigma attached to it. The world would be a much better place if more people received therapy. Select a counselor that sees you and treats you as the 'whole' person -- mind, body, and spirit. Unfortunately, some counselors like to shove pills down your throat instead of really working through your emotions. Of course, pills are great for the pharmaceutical companies, but they may not be good for you.
Realize that the past is done. The past is the past. If you constantly dwell on it, you'll drive yourself nuts and will stay stuck in your life. Reflect on the past and let it stay there. Realize what role you made have played (not easy to do) and forgive yourself! You did the best you can at the time. Perhaps you weren't strong enough to get out sooner. Maybe you were terrified and believed all of the lies your abuser told you. What's done is done, learn from it, let it go, and move forward with your life.
Forgive yourself and your abuser(s). This isn't easy because you may not understand what forgiveness is. You may feel that your abuser doesn't deserve it -- most people wouldn't argue with you. It doesn't condone what your abuser did to you. It releases you from them and the past situation -- it's for you. Give yourself the gift of forgiveness so you can get on with your life.
Write about it. Writing can be therapeutic. It may be painful at first to tell your story, but your words may help someone who's been through what you went through or is currently experiencing a similar situation. Your words will provide comfort and a light at the end of the tunnel.
Get in touch with your spirituality. Perhaps a 'spiritual' healing will help you understand the abuse. Some 'spiritual gurus' believe we're here on earth to learn lesson. Of course, you may think, "Why the heck would a loving God or Higher Power put me in a situation like this?" Maybe you did have a 'life lesson' to learn that will help you teach others. Perhaps you had to learn that you can't change a person; they have the power to change. Maybe you didn't stand in your power and got 'sucked' into a relationship or situation that will help you stand in your power. Self-reflection and meditation could help shed light on the situation and give you a better understanding.
Stop blaming yourself. Playing the 'blame game' isn't helpful. The abuse happened and now it's time for you move forward in life. Learn from it, let it go, and go forth in life.
Release the shame. Many people have 'shame' around domestic violence abuse. If you were involved in domestic violence as a child, it's time to release the shame. It's not your fault. If you stayed in a horrible marriage, release the shame around it. If your husband/wife didn't show signs of mental stress, how were you to know they'd 'flip out' and become an abuser. If you missed the signs, forgive yourself because you probably didn't know what to look for. Carrying the shame is a heavy burden. Let it go -- it's time to be free from it.
If you've experienced domestic violence abuse, release it from your life. Know that you did the best you could but it's time to let the past stay in the past. Ask for help and take advantage of the programs that are available to you. You can perform a Google search and find a local shelter in your area that handles domestic violence. While you may not being at the shelter, they could provide you with a counselor or recommend one for you. It's never too late to let go of the past. If you don't, it will eat you alive and steal your life from you. Do you want this? Don't give the abuse and abuser anymore of your power. It's time to take it back -- the time is now!
It's interesting that most men who were abused as children rarely speak about it. There's shame around abuse because men are taught they have to be strong, i.e., real men don't cry. To admit they were abused takes great courage.
More than often abusers were abused as children. It's a vicious cycle until someone breaks it. If you find yourself in a domestic violence situation, get out now! If you've been in a domestic violence situation, congratulations for getting out of it! The past is over and it's time to move on with your life. The time is now.
Overcoming Domestic Abuse - How to Let Go of Your Past and Move On
Seek help from a licensed counselor. For some reason, therapy still has a stigma attached to it. The world would be a much better place if more people received therapy. Select a counselor that sees you and treats you as the 'whole' person -- mind, body, and spirit. Unfortunately, some counselors like to shove pills down your throat instead of really working through your emotions. Of course, pills are great for the pharmaceutical companies, but they may not be good for you.
Realize that the past is done. The past is the past. If you constantly dwell on it, you'll drive yourself nuts and will stay stuck in your life. Reflect on the past and let it stay there. Realize what role you made have played (not easy to do) and forgive yourself! You did the best you can at the time. Perhaps you weren't strong enough to get out sooner. Maybe you were terrified and believed all of the lies your abuser told you. What's done is done, learn from it, let it go, and move forward with your life.
Forgive yourself and your abuser(s). This isn't easy because you may not understand what forgiveness is. You may feel that your abuser doesn't deserve it -- most people wouldn't argue with you. It doesn't condone what your abuser did to you. It releases you from them and the past situation -- it's for you. Give yourself the gift of forgiveness so you can get on with your life.
Write about it. Writing can be therapeutic. It may be painful at first to tell your story, but your words may help someone who's been through what you went through or is currently experiencing a similar situation. Your words will provide comfort and a light at the end of the tunnel.
Get in touch with your spirituality. Perhaps a 'spiritual' healing will help you understand the abuse. Some 'spiritual gurus' believe we're here on earth to learn lesson. Of course, you may think, "Why the heck would a loving God or Higher Power put me in a situation like this?" Maybe you did have a 'life lesson' to learn that will help you teach others. Perhaps you had to learn that you can't change a person; they have the power to change. Maybe you didn't stand in your power and got 'sucked' into a relationship or situation that will help you stand in your power. Self-reflection and meditation could help shed light on the situation and give you a better understanding.
Stop blaming yourself. Playing the 'blame game' isn't helpful. The abuse happened and now it's time for you move forward in life. Learn from it, let it go, and go forth in life.
Release the shame. Many people have 'shame' around domestic violence abuse. If you were involved in domestic violence as a child, it's time to release the shame. It's not your fault. If you stayed in a horrible marriage, release the shame around it. If your husband/wife didn't show signs of mental stress, how were you to know they'd 'flip out' and become an abuser. If you missed the signs, forgive yourself because you probably didn't know what to look for. Carrying the shame is a heavy burden. Let it go -- it's time to be free from it.
If you've experienced domestic violence abuse, release it from your life. Know that you did the best you could but it's time to let the past stay in the past. Ask for help and take advantage of the programs that are available to you. You can perform a Google search and find a local shelter in your area that handles domestic violence. While you may not being at the shelter, they could provide you with a counselor or recommend one for you. It's never too late to let go of the past. If you don't, it will eat you alive and steal your life from you. Do you want this? Don't give the abuse and abuser anymore of your power. It's time to take it back -- the time is now!
Crime & Punishment - Parenting Tips For Choosing the Right Punishment
Our actions have consequences. Whether we judge our actions as good or bad doesn't matter. The law of cause effect says every action has a consequence. When teens get into trouble, the punishment could fit the crime. But, how do you punish or teach your teen their actions have consequences? You could think about the punishments you received when you were a teenager, but they may have been ineffective or too harsh. You may not like to punish your teen but it's for their own good.
Choosing the right punishment
How severe is the crime? If your teen breaks a glass, they should clean it up. You could ground them for two weeks or make them do the dishes for a month (if this isn't already their chore). You could make them pay for a new glass. It's a wise idea to find out why they broke the glass in the first place. Were they upset about a breakup? Are they upset they have to do the dishes every night? Talk to them to find out what is wrong.
Was the crime committed on purpose? Did your teen hit the garage because they wanted to see if the airbags in the car work? You could make them pay for the damage to car and garage. You could also find out 'why' they thought it was a good idea to find out if the airbags work.
Did they skip school? Find out why they skipped school. Where did they go? What did they do? The principal may issue your teen one week of detention. You could make your teen come straight home from school. If they're involved in extracurricular activities, you may want to speak to their drama instructor or coach. Tell them your teen won't be participating for a few weeks. They may not like this and neither will the team or cast. This will teach your teen how being apart of a team means you must do your part. They screwed up and now their cast mates and team will be short one person because of their mistake.
Take away their cell phone, video games, and anything else electronic. Allow them to use the computer for homework but that's it. BTW: Social media is off limits!
Did they try drugs? This is a parent's worst nightmare. However, if you experimented with drugs, your teen may throw that in your face if they know you tried drugs. Speak to your teen in a calm manner. Let them know that while you tried drugs, it wasn't a smart thing to do. Tell them how it made you feel. Talk to them about the consequences of overdosing.
Calmly ask your teen where they got the drugs. If they won't give up a name, tell them they're not allowed to leave the house until they do. They're either protecting friends or bought the drugs on their own. If they still won't tell you, monitor their every move; be on them like fleas on a dog. Tell your teen you want to speak to the parents of their friends. This will mortify your teen! They may cave and tell you where they got the drugs. If not, make them go to a drug addiction group. They'll see first-hand what narcotics can do to them. If they're old enough, make them volunteer at a rehab facility. Make them do a seven page research paper on the dangers of drugs and how drug addiction can ruin their life and have them present it to you.
Drunk driving. This is another nightmare for parents. There's no excuse for drunk driving. Make sure your teen knows they can call you even if they're plastered. Should they drive drunk, they could kill themselves, the passengers in the car, or other drivers on the road.
If your teen drives drunk and you find out about it, take the car keys away immediately and driving privileges indefinitely. Make them attend AA or Al-Anon meetings so they can listen to alcoholics speak about alcoholism. Make your teen speak to parents of teens who lost their children to drunk driving. Once they see the pain it causes, they may never do it again. You may consider having them meet with teens who are doing jail time for drunk driving. The laws today are not like they were 20 or more years ago and your teen could do jail time. If you're lucky enough to have family or friends in the police department, you may ask them to speak to your teen. They can 'scare your teen' into staying sober.
These are few examples of how you can give your teen a consequence or punishment for their crime. Use your judgment. Your teen won't be perfect all of the time. Remember when you were a teen and didn't act on your best behavior. Your parents punished you but the punishment may not have fit the crime. Be fair and explain to your teen why you're punishing them. Make it clear that if their behavior is unacceptable and won't be tolerated. They'll eventually learn their lesson.
Choosing the right punishment
How severe is the crime? If your teen breaks a glass, they should clean it up. You could ground them for two weeks or make them do the dishes for a month (if this isn't already their chore). You could make them pay for a new glass. It's a wise idea to find out why they broke the glass in the first place. Were they upset about a breakup? Are they upset they have to do the dishes every night? Talk to them to find out what is wrong.
Was the crime committed on purpose? Did your teen hit the garage because they wanted to see if the airbags in the car work? You could make them pay for the damage to car and garage. You could also find out 'why' they thought it was a good idea to find out if the airbags work.
Did they skip school? Find out why they skipped school. Where did they go? What did they do? The principal may issue your teen one week of detention. You could make your teen come straight home from school. If they're involved in extracurricular activities, you may want to speak to their drama instructor or coach. Tell them your teen won't be participating for a few weeks. They may not like this and neither will the team or cast. This will teach your teen how being apart of a team means you must do your part. They screwed up and now their cast mates and team will be short one person because of their mistake.
Take away their cell phone, video games, and anything else electronic. Allow them to use the computer for homework but that's it. BTW: Social media is off limits!
Did they try drugs? This is a parent's worst nightmare. However, if you experimented with drugs, your teen may throw that in your face if they know you tried drugs. Speak to your teen in a calm manner. Let them know that while you tried drugs, it wasn't a smart thing to do. Tell them how it made you feel. Talk to them about the consequences of overdosing.
Calmly ask your teen where they got the drugs. If they won't give up a name, tell them they're not allowed to leave the house until they do. They're either protecting friends or bought the drugs on their own. If they still won't tell you, monitor their every move; be on them like fleas on a dog. Tell your teen you want to speak to the parents of their friends. This will mortify your teen! They may cave and tell you where they got the drugs. If not, make them go to a drug addiction group. They'll see first-hand what narcotics can do to them. If they're old enough, make them volunteer at a rehab facility. Make them do a seven page research paper on the dangers of drugs and how drug addiction can ruin their life and have them present it to you.
Drunk driving. This is another nightmare for parents. There's no excuse for drunk driving. Make sure your teen knows they can call you even if they're plastered. Should they drive drunk, they could kill themselves, the passengers in the car, or other drivers on the road.
If your teen drives drunk and you find out about it, take the car keys away immediately and driving privileges indefinitely. Make them attend AA or Al-Anon meetings so they can listen to alcoholics speak about alcoholism. Make your teen speak to parents of teens who lost their children to drunk driving. Once they see the pain it causes, they may never do it again. You may consider having them meet with teens who are doing jail time for drunk driving. The laws today are not like they were 20 or more years ago and your teen could do jail time. If you're lucky enough to have family or friends in the police department, you may ask them to speak to your teen. They can 'scare your teen' into staying sober.
These are few examples of how you can give your teen a consequence or punishment for their crime. Use your judgment. Your teen won't be perfect all of the time. Remember when you were a teen and didn't act on your best behavior. Your parents punished you but the punishment may not have fit the crime. Be fair and explain to your teen why you're punishing them. Make it clear that if their behavior is unacceptable and won't be tolerated. They'll eventually learn their lesson.
Stop Obesity in Your Family
The Biggest Loser began its 11th season with two new trainers and contestants. This season includes a former Olympic athlete who allowed himself to pack on the pounds. However, more and more parents are appearing on the show with their sons and daughters. This is an epidemic that can be squashed, if you're willing to change and do the work.
If your family is obese or overweight, do something about it. It’s up to parents to set a good example for their teens. If you love your teens, you’ll decide that it’s time to take and keep the weight off for good. Remember that you’re responsible for doing the grocery shopping and teens will eat what you buy. You have a say as to what's what for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Allow teens to help you with the grocery shopping so they can choose healthy foods that are best for them. Indulging once in awhile is fine, as long as you know you have control.
Losing weight doesn’t have to be a battle. First, get to the root of the weight. I’ve said it time and time again, “Weight has nothing to do with food; it has to do with the emotions and feelings you stuff down.” Perhaps you were teased when you were a child and you decided to protect yourself with food; your weight becomes a barrier between you and people. Perhaps you suffered trauma as a child such as abuse and you decided to protect yourself with weight. Or, maybe your parents didn’t eat healthy and you picked up their bad habits. Whatever the reason is, you have the power to make another choice. You can choose to deal with your emotions and put the past behind you and look to the future.
The diet industry is a multi-billion dollar industry and will try to sell you anything. The best way to conquer your weight is to speak with your doctor along with a nutritionist and fitness trainer. They’ll be able to tell you what your BMI (body mass index), blood pressure, blood glucose, and other vitals are. They’ll measure your waist, arms, legs, and thighs and let you know where you’re at from a health perspective. You’ll also be able to find out your ‘real age’ which may surprise you. The age on your birth certificate is different from your ‘body’s age; you could be much older. That may be the wakeup call you need because no one wants to appear older.
Your teens have enough pressure on them as it is. If they’re overweight or obese, chances are school is hell for them. Maybe they have low self-esteem, maybe they’re bullied, or worse, maybe they’re contemplating suicide. Don’t allow your teens to throw their life away because of their weight. It’s a problem that’s very easy to change, if you’re willing to acknowledge there is a problem and are ready to do something about it.
Obesity doesn’t have to be a way of life. There are people out there who can show you what to eat. Remember these words: everything in moderation. You don’t have to sacrifice your favorite foods -- eat them in moderation. Make your favorite foods without half the fat and use substitute ingredients like apple sauce when you bake. Use your imagination. Who knows, you could end up writing a cookbook!
The New Year is here and it's time to stop talking about losing weight -- it's time to lose the weight. Make it a family affair, even if you have teens that aren't overweight. They can still benefit from exercise. When you reach milestones, reward yourself. Moms and daughters can have a spa day or shop for new clothes. Dads and sons can go to a sports event (watch out for the junk food) or take a road trip. The family can have a picnic in the park. Be creative with your rewards. The whole family will be happier and healthier and your future just got a little brighter!
If your family is obese or overweight, do something about it. It’s up to parents to set a good example for their teens. If you love your teens, you’ll decide that it’s time to take and keep the weight off for good. Remember that you’re responsible for doing the grocery shopping and teens will eat what you buy. You have a say as to what's what for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Allow teens to help you with the grocery shopping so they can choose healthy foods that are best for them. Indulging once in awhile is fine, as long as you know you have control.
Losing weight doesn’t have to be a battle. First, get to the root of the weight. I’ve said it time and time again, “Weight has nothing to do with food; it has to do with the emotions and feelings you stuff down.” Perhaps you were teased when you were a child and you decided to protect yourself with food; your weight becomes a barrier between you and people. Perhaps you suffered trauma as a child such as abuse and you decided to protect yourself with weight. Or, maybe your parents didn’t eat healthy and you picked up their bad habits. Whatever the reason is, you have the power to make another choice. You can choose to deal with your emotions and put the past behind you and look to the future.
The diet industry is a multi-billion dollar industry and will try to sell you anything. The best way to conquer your weight is to speak with your doctor along with a nutritionist and fitness trainer. They’ll be able to tell you what your BMI (body mass index), blood pressure, blood glucose, and other vitals are. They’ll measure your waist, arms, legs, and thighs and let you know where you’re at from a health perspective. You’ll also be able to find out your ‘real age’ which may surprise you. The age on your birth certificate is different from your ‘body’s age; you could be much older. That may be the wakeup call you need because no one wants to appear older.
Your teens have enough pressure on them as it is. If they’re overweight or obese, chances are school is hell for them. Maybe they have low self-esteem, maybe they’re bullied, or worse, maybe they’re contemplating suicide. Don’t allow your teens to throw their life away because of their weight. It’s a problem that’s very easy to change, if you’re willing to acknowledge there is a problem and are ready to do something about it.
Obesity doesn’t have to be a way of life. There are people out there who can show you what to eat. Remember these words: everything in moderation. You don’t have to sacrifice your favorite foods -- eat them in moderation. Make your favorite foods without half the fat and use substitute ingredients like apple sauce when you bake. Use your imagination. Who knows, you could end up writing a cookbook!
The New Year is here and it's time to stop talking about losing weight -- it's time to lose the weight. Make it a family affair, even if you have teens that aren't overweight. They can still benefit from exercise. When you reach milestones, reward yourself. Moms and daughters can have a spa day or shop for new clothes. Dads and sons can go to a sports event (watch out for the junk food) or take a road trip. The family can have a picnic in the park. Be creative with your rewards. The whole family will be happier and healthier and your future just got a little brighter!
Is Your Teen an Emotional Eater?
Emotional eating is when you eat or binge on foods to stuff your feelings. Your teen may be an emotional eater because she can't deal with the pressures of family, school, and friends. She may turn to food because it's comforting. According to the Mayo Clinic there is a correlation between food and emotions. Eating is one way to 'stuff' down feelings such as stress, anger, fear, loneliness, boredom, and other emotions. If it's not dealt with, your teen could suffer from juvenile diabetes, shortness of breath, and other health problems now and later in life. Emotional eating is not something to ignore.
Major life events such as divorce, moving, high school tests, and abuse can trigger emotional eating. No matter how much your teen diet's she won't be able to release the weight until the 'core issue' is resolved. Binging on food isn't emotionally or physically healthy. It's a destructive behavior that could continue into your teen's adult life if it's not addressed now.
Triggers for emotional eating
If your teen is an empathetic, this can trigger emotional eating. An empath absorbs the energy of others. Your teen could be carrying the 'weight' of others and may not even know it. There are many techniques empaths can do to prevent absorbing energy that doesn't belong to them. They are as follows:
Emotional eating is exhausting. Your teen may feel good or numb after binge or overeating, but she'll probably be angry about losing control, especially if she's trying to lose weight. If emotions trigger your teen to eat, she'll be stuck in the vicious cycle until the 'root' issues are addressed. Until then, the scale will go up and down and your teen's body will suffer for it.
Emotional eating is a temporary band-aid for issues that run deep. If you think your teen is an emotional eater, do something about it. Get your teen help from a counselor and a nutritionist so your teen can overcome emotional eating. You may want to get your teen a personal trainer who will create a program specifically for your teen. Provide your teen with all of the tools to overcome emotional eating -- you'll be saving your teen.
Your teen needs love and support. Forget about blaming yourself because it won't do any good. Help your teen focus on positive changes such as eating healthier meals and snacks and exercising more. Help your teen realize that one small step will lead to better health. Take it one day at a time -- it will get better before you know it.
Major life events such as divorce, moving, high school tests, and abuse can trigger emotional eating. No matter how much your teen diet's she won't be able to release the weight until the 'core issue' is resolved. Binging on food isn't emotionally or physically healthy. It's a destructive behavior that could continue into your teen's adult life if it's not addressed now.
Triggers for emotional eating
- Peer pressure
- Divorce
- Abuse
- Bullying
- Boredom
- Getting fired from a job
- Fatigue
- Lack of self-confidence and self-esteem
- A fight with a boyfriend or girlfriend
- A fight with friends
- Absorbing peoples' energy
If your teen is an empathetic, this can trigger emotional eating. An empath absorbs the energy of others. Your teen could be carrying the 'weight' of others and may not even know it. There are many techniques empaths can do to prevent absorbing energy that doesn't belong to them. They are as follows:
- Surround yourself with white light
- Say to yourself, "I clear and release all energy that is not mine"
- Sit quietly and visualize your feet have roots connecting them to the earth. Clear and release energy that doesn't belong to you. The earth will absorb the energy and transmute it into love.
- Keep a bowl of water with sea salt in it under your bed. Note: Do this if you don't have any pets that will drink the water.
- Regularly cut your chords by saying, "I cut and release chords that don't belong to me or are not love."
Emotional eating is exhausting. Your teen may feel good or numb after binge or overeating, but she'll probably be angry about losing control, especially if she's trying to lose weight. If emotions trigger your teen to eat, she'll be stuck in the vicious cycle until the 'root' issues are addressed. Until then, the scale will go up and down and your teen's body will suffer for it.
Emotional eating is a temporary band-aid for issues that run deep. If you think your teen is an emotional eater, do something about it. Get your teen help from a counselor and a nutritionist so your teen can overcome emotional eating. You may want to get your teen a personal trainer who will create a program specifically for your teen. Provide your teen with all of the tools to overcome emotional eating -- you'll be saving your teen.
Your teen needs love and support. Forget about blaming yourself because it won't do any good. Help your teen focus on positive changes such as eating healthier meals and snacks and exercising more. Help your teen realize that one small step will lead to better health. Take it one day at a time -- it will get better before you know it.
Want to be a Better Parent? Ask Your Teen for Help
Sometimes the answer is so simple but you can't see it. Many parenting websites have been created in the last couple of years. But only a few (including DEOR Consulting -- stay tuned) ask teens to give parenting advice. After all, wouldn't it be best to get the answers straight from the horse's mouth?
Being a teen today is not like it was 20+ years ago. There was no internet in the 1960s, 1970s, or 1980s. There was no YouTube, Facebook, or MySpace. Years ago, there was no texting or web cam. Your teen lives in the 21st century -- land of technology. They're moving at the speed of light and you need to catch up to them. On the flip side, the issues that your teen may be dealing with are still the same such as peer pressure, bullying, sex, underage drinking, gangs, body image, and other issues. Unfortunately, these are magnified because of the internet and the information available to them. Times have changed and parenting skills must change with them.
You may be thinking that there's no way you'll ask your teen for parenting advice but you may want to give it a try. What do you have to lose? If you're 'butting heads' with your teen, you may as well offer them an 'olive branch' and see what they have to say. You may be surprised at what comes out of their mouth.
Believe it or not, your teen wants to have a great relationship with you. Think back to your teen years. What was your relationship with your parents? If you're like most people, it wasn't that great. Reflect on your relationship with your parents and see what parenting patterns you've picked up that you said you wouldn't if you had kids. Do you yell and scream? Do you threaten your teen? Do you ground them? How are these working for you? If they're not working, you may want to ask yourself why and then think back to how you felt when you were a teen. Did you wish your parents would just listen to what you had to say? The answers you seek may lie within the past.
Your teen will soon be an adult. Do you want them to be 'psychologically messed up' as an adult? Do you want them to blame you for all of their problems? Do you want them to spend $250 or more for a 45-minute counseling session three times a week? This may not be a bad idea. But you can save your teen money in the long run if you reevaluate your parenting skills. You probably don't realize how your actions and words are affecting your teen. They're making an impact -- not a good one.
Don't be too hard on yourself because it's challenging to be a parent in the 21st century. Most of you work 40 or more hours per week; some work two or more jobs. Stress builds up and the next thing you know, you explode and take it out on your teen. Be gentle with yourself. Take a deep breath and no this too shall pass.
If you're willing to listen to your teen, they can provide you with valuable information. Spend a day with your teen and really listen to them. Ask them how you can be a better parent. If they say, "You can let me drink beer and smoke a bong even though I'm only 16-years-old," you have the right to veto this request! Make sure your teen knows that underage drinking won't be tolerated. Let them know there are consequences for certain behaviors such as loss of freedom, jail time, and death.
Make sure your teen understands you're serious about wanting their input and insight on how to parent them. Your teen can be a wealth of information - listen to them. Open communication is the key to a great relationship. If you don't have an open dialogue with your teen begin one today. It could improve your relationship ten-fold!
Being a teen today is not like it was 20+ years ago. There was no internet in the 1960s, 1970s, or 1980s. There was no YouTube, Facebook, or MySpace. Years ago, there was no texting or web cam. Your teen lives in the 21st century -- land of technology. They're moving at the speed of light and you need to catch up to them. On the flip side, the issues that your teen may be dealing with are still the same such as peer pressure, bullying, sex, underage drinking, gangs, body image, and other issues. Unfortunately, these are magnified because of the internet and the information available to them. Times have changed and parenting skills must change with them.
You may be thinking that there's no way you'll ask your teen for parenting advice but you may want to give it a try. What do you have to lose? If you're 'butting heads' with your teen, you may as well offer them an 'olive branch' and see what they have to say. You may be surprised at what comes out of their mouth.
Believe it or not, your teen wants to have a great relationship with you. Think back to your teen years. What was your relationship with your parents? If you're like most people, it wasn't that great. Reflect on your relationship with your parents and see what parenting patterns you've picked up that you said you wouldn't if you had kids. Do you yell and scream? Do you threaten your teen? Do you ground them? How are these working for you? If they're not working, you may want to ask yourself why and then think back to how you felt when you were a teen. Did you wish your parents would just listen to what you had to say? The answers you seek may lie within the past.
Your teen will soon be an adult. Do you want them to be 'psychologically messed up' as an adult? Do you want them to blame you for all of their problems? Do you want them to spend $250 or more for a 45-minute counseling session three times a week? This may not be a bad idea. But you can save your teen money in the long run if you reevaluate your parenting skills. You probably don't realize how your actions and words are affecting your teen. They're making an impact -- not a good one.
Don't be too hard on yourself because it's challenging to be a parent in the 21st century. Most of you work 40 or more hours per week; some work two or more jobs. Stress builds up and the next thing you know, you explode and take it out on your teen. Be gentle with yourself. Take a deep breath and no this too shall pass.
If you're willing to listen to your teen, they can provide you with valuable information. Spend a day with your teen and really listen to them. Ask them how you can be a better parent. If they say, "You can let me drink beer and smoke a bong even though I'm only 16-years-old," you have the right to veto this request! Make sure your teen knows that underage drinking won't be tolerated. Let them know there are consequences for certain behaviors such as loss of freedom, jail time, and death.
Make sure your teen understands you're serious about wanting their input and insight on how to parent them. Your teen can be a wealth of information - listen to them. Open communication is the key to a great relationship. If you don't have an open dialogue with your teen begin one today. It could improve your relationship ten-fold!
Encourage Teens to Become Entrepreneurs
My 14-year-old nephew and two of his friends live in Ohio and decided to go around the neighborhood and ask if anyone would be interested in having their driveways and sidewalks shoveled for a fee. One woman gave them $25! They made $137.00 in one afternoon that was split three ways according to the amount of work each of them did. My nephew and his one friend made $60.00 each while there other friend took home $17.00 (he didn't do that much). My sister called to say my nephew has one snow shoveling contract. I'm sure more are on the way!
Most of us were taught to go to college/university, enter the workforce, and retire with a pension. But times are changing. I'm an advocate of education; I love to learn and won't stop. However, I'm also smart enough to know that the 21st century is different from the 20th century. The U.S. needs entrepreneurs now more than ever. The industrial revolution was started by entrepreneurs and dreamers. For example, Henry Ford is known as the father of the automobile. His invention of the assembly line launched other automakers. If it wasn't for his vision, we may not be driving vehicles today. He had a dream and listened to himself instead of the naysayers! His crazy idea paid off and is still paying off today, even though the auto industry hit a few bumps along the way.
Parents, you can support your teens if they're entrepreneurial. There's nothing wrong with pursuing college/university but that doesn't have to be it. If your teens want to start their own business, help them anyway you can. It may be a simple snow shoveling business or more technical like launching a website. Either way, encourage teens to become entrepreneurs. They'll be ahead of the game if they start now.
Tips to channeling your inner entrepreneur
1. Don't listen to the naysayers. People who try to talk others out of their dreams are fearful and couldn't imagine stepping outside of their comfort zone. Their biggest fear is that you'll leave them.
2. Surround yourself with successful people who accomplished what you'd like to do.
3. Don't be afraid of failure -- learn from your mistakes.
4. Invest your money and it will make more money for you.
5. Give 5% of your earnings to your favorite charity.
6. Do what you love, otherwise you won't be happy.
7. It may take a few years before you see a significant profit. You must be all right with that.
8. Don't apologize for being ambitious or industrious -- embrace it.
If your teens have an entrepreneurial spirit, make sure you give them love and support. Don't bad mouth their ideas or put them down. You may not be entrepreneurial but your teens are. In fact, your teens could make their first million dollars by the time their 18-years-old. A million dollars today isn't what it was yesterday but it's a step in the right direction. Allow teens to do what they love because they'll put more time and effort into it. If you force them into a career path they loathe, they won't be happy and neither will you.
I'm very proud of my nephew and his friend. These young entrepreneurs are going places. My nephew is like me and wants to better himself. He has drive and ambition. He wants a better life than his parents have and would like to help his parents anyway he can. He has his eye on the prize and won't stop until he reaches it. Even when he reaches it, he'll start over and pursue something else. At the tender age of 14, he's more of a visionary than most adults I know. I'll encourage and support him anyway I can. I know I've been a positive influence on his life, and I know he'll be just fine.
Most of us were taught to go to college/university, enter the workforce, and retire with a pension. But times are changing. I'm an advocate of education; I love to learn and won't stop. However, I'm also smart enough to know that the 21st century is different from the 20th century. The U.S. needs entrepreneurs now more than ever. The industrial revolution was started by entrepreneurs and dreamers. For example, Henry Ford is known as the father of the automobile. His invention of the assembly line launched other automakers. If it wasn't for his vision, we may not be driving vehicles today. He had a dream and listened to himself instead of the naysayers! His crazy idea paid off and is still paying off today, even though the auto industry hit a few bumps along the way.
Parents, you can support your teens if they're entrepreneurial. There's nothing wrong with pursuing college/university but that doesn't have to be it. If your teens want to start their own business, help them anyway you can. It may be a simple snow shoveling business or more technical like launching a website. Either way, encourage teens to become entrepreneurs. They'll be ahead of the game if they start now.
Tips to channeling your inner entrepreneur
1. Don't listen to the naysayers. People who try to talk others out of their dreams are fearful and couldn't imagine stepping outside of their comfort zone. Their biggest fear is that you'll leave them.
2. Surround yourself with successful people who accomplished what you'd like to do.
3. Don't be afraid of failure -- learn from your mistakes.
4. Invest your money and it will make more money for you.
5. Give 5% of your earnings to your favorite charity.
6. Do what you love, otherwise you won't be happy.
7. It may take a few years before you see a significant profit. You must be all right with that.
8. Don't apologize for being ambitious or industrious -- embrace it.
If your teens have an entrepreneurial spirit, make sure you give them love and support. Don't bad mouth their ideas or put them down. You may not be entrepreneurial but your teens are. In fact, your teens could make their first million dollars by the time their 18-years-old. A million dollars today isn't what it was yesterday but it's a step in the right direction. Allow teens to do what they love because they'll put more time and effort into it. If you force them into a career path they loathe, they won't be happy and neither will you.
I'm very proud of my nephew and his friend. These young entrepreneurs are going places. My nephew is like me and wants to better himself. He has drive and ambition. He wants a better life than his parents have and would like to help his parents anyway he can. He has his eye on the prize and won't stop until he reaches it. Even when he reaches it, he'll start over and pursue something else. At the tender age of 14, he's more of a visionary than most adults I know. I'll encourage and support him anyway I can. I know I've been a positive influence on his life, and I know he'll be just fine.
Are You Using Your Children as Pawns in Your Divorce?
My mom's friend Linette has a daughter who is recently divorced. Denise got divorced a year ago and it was a battle she didn't expect. The divorce was a bitter one and was dragged out by her ex-husband Ted; their young children are suffering for it. David and Allison are innocent victims being pulled in two different directions thanks to joint custody. They're very young and impressionable. Denise's ex-husband moved in with his girlfriend whom he cheated with while he was married to Denise. Ted, Denise's ex-husband, is brain washing the children against Denise who has started dating again (I'm not sure why since she just got divorced). Ted tells his children that Denise loves her new man more than she does them. This childish behavior by Ted is setting his children up for failure and psychological problems later in life.
Divorce is painful for everyone involved, especially the children. Most parents don't think about the children, they think about what their spouse has done to them. Before the ink is on or even dried on the divorce papers, moms and dads start dating again. Instead of taking time to heal and evaluate 'what happened,' they hop into bed with the next man or woman. Meanwhile the children are shuffled between two houses or given up solely to one parent. What kind of message do you think this sends to your children? They're probably feeling abandoned or blame themselves for the divorce. They probably have many thoughts going through their mind that they're not sharing with you.
Keep the peace and be fair. Bad mouthing your spouse to your children is not a good idea. It minimizes the respect they'll have for you and your authority. You may not be thrilled that your ex-wife or ex-husband is dating but it's none of your business. Unless, you can prove that the new 'significant other' is harming your teens, you have no right to tell your ex not to date. You may not like it but you're not married anymore.
If you're going through or may be thinking about divorce, please remember that your children are not pawns on a chess board. They're breathing and living beings with feelings whose world was just turned upside down. They need help adjusting to new schools, living arrangements, traveling, and blended families. Being a teenager is harder today than it was yesterday. A divorce only adds to the pressure teens already face. Think about that before you start to bad mouth each other -- don't put your teens in the middle. Be adults and work it out.
*Names have been changed
Divorce is painful for everyone involved, especially the children. Most parents don't think about the children, they think about what their spouse has done to them. Before the ink is on or even dried on the divorce papers, moms and dads start dating again. Instead of taking time to heal and evaluate 'what happened,' they hop into bed with the next man or woman. Meanwhile the children are shuffled between two houses or given up solely to one parent. What kind of message do you think this sends to your children? They're probably feeling abandoned or blame themselves for the divorce. They probably have many thoughts going through their mind that they're not sharing with you.
Keep the peace and be fair. Bad mouthing your spouse to your children is not a good idea. It minimizes the respect they'll have for you and your authority. You may not be thrilled that your ex-wife or ex-husband is dating but it's none of your business. Unless, you can prove that the new 'significant other' is harming your teens, you have no right to tell your ex not to date. You may not like it but you're not married anymore.
If you're going through or may be thinking about divorce, please remember that your children are not pawns on a chess board. They're breathing and living beings with feelings whose world was just turned upside down. They need help adjusting to new schools, living arrangements, traveling, and blended families. Being a teenager is harder today than it was yesterday. A divorce only adds to the pressure teens already face. Think about that before you start to bad mouth each other -- don't put your teens in the middle. Be adults and work it out.
*Names have been changed
Does MTV's Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant Promote and Encourage Teens to Have Sex?
Anyone who's a parent will tell you it is hard work, especially if you're working 40 hours or more per week. With the celebrity culture in full swing, teens flock to MTV and programs such as Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant. But are these reality shows harmful or helpful? Do they encourage teens to have sex? Teens are paid $60,000 to tell their story on MTV -- that's a lot of money to teens. They aren't financially savvy enough to know what to do with the money. If they aren't ready to manage $60,000, how can they be ready to raise a child?
Parents and opponents of MTV's Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant worry that teen pregnancy is being glorified. Teens are catapulted into the spotlight and may not be able to handle all of the attention. Plus, they didn't do anything that warrants attention for accomplishments such as acting, dancing, singing, and painting; saving a life, or creating a business. Teens are receiving recognition because they became pregnant at 16. Parents and opponents consider this a disgraceful circumstance.
Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant seem to take a casual stance on sex. Couples stay in their parent's home and do whatever they want without supervision. They're extremely comfortable and stay in each other's rooms with the door closed. Back in the day, you were not allowed to do this. In fact, parents would sometimes accompany teens on dates. Could you imagine if that happened today? Teens would rebel against it.
It's amazing how times have changed. Boys weren't allowed in girls' rooms or even the homes if parents weren't home. They couldn't do whatever they wanted like open the refrigerator (unless given permission) or lay on the couch with one leg on the couch and the other on the coffee table. Boys were not considered a family member until they got married.
FYI: A new trend is that families allow the boyfriend/girlfriend to appear in holiday cards. This is a recipe for disaster. What happens when they break up? It will be very awkward at the dinner table when the boyfriend or girlfriend isn't there!
Parents, if you're encouraging teens to "play house" and take on adult roles, you're contributing to the increase in teen pregnancy. Teens aren't ready for the level of intimacy that's being presented to them. Allow them to be teens because they'll be adults before you know it.
Does MTV encourage sex? Yes and no. They're showcasing an unfortunate cultural trend; however, they make it look glamorous because teens are on TV in front of millions of people to see. The shows speak about contraception but neglect to speak about the emotional, financial, and mental aspect that goes along with having children. And they don't address the perils of intimacy at an early age.
We live in a celebrity and "15 minutes" of fame culture that teens may be tempted to become pregnant just to get on TV. If they receive $60,000 for telling their story, it makes having sex and becoming pregnant more attractive. If their stories are published in People magazine, that's more attention and money in their pocket. Is it a good idea for your teen to watch Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant? Only if you watch it with them and explain that they may not be ready for intimacy and that having sex isn't love. Explain to them that all families are not the same. Some may not be as open as others to the idea of having a pregnant 16-year-old.
It's up to parents to inform teens that teen pregnancy isn't glamorous. It's a lot of responsibility and teens aren't ready for it. Some adults aren't ready to have kids but they go ahead and have two or more kids. The children are the ones that suffer. Having a child is a blessing and miracle but when you're 16-years-old, you probably aren't ready for the emotional, financial, and mental responsibility of having a child. Your parents probably aren't ready for you to be parents, and they're not ready to be grandparents.
Parents and opponents of MTV's Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant worry that teen pregnancy is being glorified. Teens are catapulted into the spotlight and may not be able to handle all of the attention. Plus, they didn't do anything that warrants attention for accomplishments such as acting, dancing, singing, and painting; saving a life, or creating a business. Teens are receiving recognition because they became pregnant at 16. Parents and opponents consider this a disgraceful circumstance.
Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant seem to take a casual stance on sex. Couples stay in their parent's home and do whatever they want without supervision. They're extremely comfortable and stay in each other's rooms with the door closed. Back in the day, you were not allowed to do this. In fact, parents would sometimes accompany teens on dates. Could you imagine if that happened today? Teens would rebel against it.
It's amazing how times have changed. Boys weren't allowed in girls' rooms or even the homes if parents weren't home. They couldn't do whatever they wanted like open the refrigerator (unless given permission) or lay on the couch with one leg on the couch and the other on the coffee table. Boys were not considered a family member until they got married.
FYI: A new trend is that families allow the boyfriend/girlfriend to appear in holiday cards. This is a recipe for disaster. What happens when they break up? It will be very awkward at the dinner table when the boyfriend or girlfriend isn't there!
Parents, if you're encouraging teens to "play house" and take on adult roles, you're contributing to the increase in teen pregnancy. Teens aren't ready for the level of intimacy that's being presented to them. Allow them to be teens because they'll be adults before you know it.
Does MTV encourage sex? Yes and no. They're showcasing an unfortunate cultural trend; however, they make it look glamorous because teens are on TV in front of millions of people to see. The shows speak about contraception but neglect to speak about the emotional, financial, and mental aspect that goes along with having children. And they don't address the perils of intimacy at an early age.
We live in a celebrity and "15 minutes" of fame culture that teens may be tempted to become pregnant just to get on TV. If they receive $60,000 for telling their story, it makes having sex and becoming pregnant more attractive. If their stories are published in People magazine, that's more attention and money in their pocket. Is it a good idea for your teen to watch Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant? Only if you watch it with them and explain that they may not be ready for intimacy and that having sex isn't love. Explain to them that all families are not the same. Some may not be as open as others to the idea of having a pregnant 16-year-old.
It's up to parents to inform teens that teen pregnancy isn't glamorous. It's a lot of responsibility and teens aren't ready for it. Some adults aren't ready to have kids but they go ahead and have two or more kids. The children are the ones that suffer. Having a child is a blessing and miracle but when you're 16-years-old, you probably aren't ready for the emotional, financial, and mental responsibility of having a child. Your parents probably aren't ready for you to be parents, and they're not ready to be grandparents.
Sex & Celebrity Don't Always Sell
The Kardashian sisters recently pulled the plug on their credit card. The card which is being marketed to teens and young adults comes with extra costs such as hidden fees. The card costs $99 and customers are being charged $2.00 for online payments and $1.50 for ATM use. This credit card isn't what it's cracked up to be.
It's interesting that Kardashians would put their name on something like a credit card given that many people are experiencing economic turmoil in their lives. Who's their manager? Who read the fine print on the contract? The Kardashians knew their celebrity status could be tarnished within the celebrity and public world which is why they quickly pulled out of the deal. Also, they could have lost money on other products such as their clothing line, book deals, perfumes, and other streams of income.
FYI: It's important to realize that the celebrity world doesn't always paint the "real" picture which is why many young girls struggle with eating disorders. They see airbrushed pictures in magazines and believe celebrities really look like their photos. When you get up close and personal, you'll see what celebrities truly look like. When you understand what "celebrity" means, you'll see that it's an illusion and not reality. They're selling an idea.
The Kardashians credit card debacle shows that sex and celebrity don't always sell. It's important to look past the celebrity and look at the product that's being sold. Remember, celebrities are not creating products and services; they're putting their name or license their name to the product. Some of them may have some input but more often than not, they're not sitting in a laboratory creating a perfume, cosmetic line, or any other product.
There's a saying the business world which is "buyer beware." Before you purchase any items that are celebrity endorsed, check them out. If you're signing up for a credit card, make sure you read the fine print because there could be many fees that you aren't aware of when you sign you name on the dotted line.
The Kardashian credit card scandal is a powerful teaching tool you can use to teach teens about credit cards and celebrity endorsed products and services. Read the credit card information with your teens. Explain to them what an APR (annual percentage rate) is. If you're unfamiliar with APR, look it up on the internet together. Explain to them that celebrities sell their name for a license fee. They have help from corporations and investors to launch "new" products and services. Help teens to look past the celebrity facade and get to the truth. While Hollywood is fun and exciting, some of it may not be real.
It's interesting that Kardashians would put their name on something like a credit card given that many people are experiencing economic turmoil in their lives. Who's their manager? Who read the fine print on the contract? The Kardashians knew their celebrity status could be tarnished within the celebrity and public world which is why they quickly pulled out of the deal. Also, they could have lost money on other products such as their clothing line, book deals, perfumes, and other streams of income.
FYI: It's important to realize that the celebrity world doesn't always paint the "real" picture which is why many young girls struggle with eating disorders. They see airbrushed pictures in magazines and believe celebrities really look like their photos. When you get up close and personal, you'll see what celebrities truly look like. When you understand what "celebrity" means, you'll see that it's an illusion and not reality. They're selling an idea.
The Kardashians credit card debacle shows that sex and celebrity don't always sell. It's important to look past the celebrity and look at the product that's being sold. Remember, celebrities are not creating products and services; they're putting their name or license their name to the product. Some of them may have some input but more often than not, they're not sitting in a laboratory creating a perfume, cosmetic line, or any other product.
There's a saying the business world which is "buyer beware." Before you purchase any items that are celebrity endorsed, check them out. If you're signing up for a credit card, make sure you read the fine print because there could be many fees that you aren't aware of when you sign you name on the dotted line.
The Kardashian credit card scandal is a powerful teaching tool you can use to teach teens about credit cards and celebrity endorsed products and services. Read the credit card information with your teens. Explain to them what an APR (annual percentage rate) is. If you're unfamiliar with APR, look it up on the internet together. Explain to them that celebrities sell their name for a license fee. They have help from corporations and investors to launch "new" products and services. Help teens to look past the celebrity facade and get to the truth. While Hollywood is fun and exciting, some of it may not be real.
Inspirational Quotes
Bruce Lee
“The less effort, the faster and more powerful you will be.”
Carl Jung
“Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people.”
Catherine Ponder
“If you want greater prosperity in your life, start forming a vacuum to receive it.”
J.R.R. Tolkein
“Not all those who wander are lost.”
Larry Winget
“As your employer, if I see that you have to work hard to get your results, yet your coworkers achieve their results with little effort, don’t be surprised if I’m not all that impressed with your hard work.”
Les Brown
“Act the way you want to be and soon you’ll be the way you act.”
Lise Bourbeau
“Being what we truly are is the only way to feel good about ourselves.”
Marcus Aurelius
“Dig within. Within is the wellspring of Good; and it is always ready to bubble up, if you just dig.”
Mark Victor Hansen
“You control your future, your destiny. What you think about comes about. By recording your dreams and goals on paper, you set in motion the process of becoming the person you most want to be. Put your future in good hands - your own.”
Plato
“Better a little which is well done, than a great deal imperfectly.”
Ralph Marston
“Let go of your attachment of being right, and suddenly your mind is more open. You’re able to benefit from the unique viewpoints of others, without being crippled by your own judgement.”
Robert Collier
“If you see yourself as prosperous, you will be. If you see yourself as continually hard up, that is exactly what you will be.”
Robert Frost
“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.”
Stephen Pierce
“Life doesn’t give us what we deserve. Life gives us what we go claim.”
Thomas Edison
“Just because something doesn’t do what you planned it to do doesn’t mean it’s useless.”
Viktor E. Frankl
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
Vince Lombardi
“It’s not whether you get knocked down, it’s whether you get up.”
Wallace Wattles
“By thought, the thing you want is brought to you. By action, you receive it.”
Werner Erhard
“Create your future from your future not your past.”
Winston Churchill
“Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.”
Zig Ziglar
“If you can dream it, then you can achieve it. You will get all you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want.”
“The less effort, the faster and more powerful you will be.”
Carl Jung
“Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people.”
Catherine Ponder
“If you want greater prosperity in your life, start forming a vacuum to receive it.”
J.R.R. Tolkein
“Not all those who wander are lost.”
Larry Winget
“As your employer, if I see that you have to work hard to get your results, yet your coworkers achieve their results with little effort, don’t be surprised if I’m not all that impressed with your hard work.”
Les Brown
“Act the way you want to be and soon you’ll be the way you act.”
Lise Bourbeau
“Being what we truly are is the only way to feel good about ourselves.”
Marcus Aurelius
“Dig within. Within is the wellspring of Good; and it is always ready to bubble up, if you just dig.”
Mark Victor Hansen
“You control your future, your destiny. What you think about comes about. By recording your dreams and goals on paper, you set in motion the process of becoming the person you most want to be. Put your future in good hands - your own.”
Plato
“Better a little which is well done, than a great deal imperfectly.”
Ralph Marston
“Let go of your attachment of being right, and suddenly your mind is more open. You’re able to benefit from the unique viewpoints of others, without being crippled by your own judgement.”
Robert Collier
“If you see yourself as prosperous, you will be. If you see yourself as continually hard up, that is exactly what you will be.”
Robert Frost
“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.”
Stephen Pierce
“Life doesn’t give us what we deserve. Life gives us what we go claim.”
Thomas Edison
“Just because something doesn’t do what you planned it to do doesn’t mean it’s useless.”
Viktor E. Frankl
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
Vince Lombardi
“It’s not whether you get knocked down, it’s whether you get up.”
Wallace Wattles
“By thought, the thing you want is brought to you. By action, you receive it.”
Werner Erhard
“Create your future from your future not your past.”
Winston Churchill
“Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.”
Zig Ziglar
“If you can dream it, then you can achieve it. You will get all you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want.”
Do You Live For Approval?
Living for approval is no way to live. Being an approval seeker and people pleaser is time consuming and exhausting. If you do things just to please people then you're doing them for the wrong reason and you're giving your power to them. For example, it's best to give because you want to give not because you're expected to do so or you'll receive something in return like approval. Approve of yourself and others will naturally give you their approval. You won't have to beg or manipulate someone for it.
We'd like to believe that family and friends will support us no matter what but sometimes that doesn't happen. Why doesn't? One reason is they don't understand your dreams and goals. They may be so scared that they couldn't imagine picking up and moving to another state or country. They couldn't imagine starting their own business or traveling the world. Fear paralyzes most people; there's no way they could understand why you want to do the things you want to do.
How do you know if you live for approval?
1. Do you always do what's best for others and not you?
2. Do you always say YES even when you want to say NO?
3. Do you put your dreams on hold or forget about them all together because family and friends say it will be too hard or there's no way you can accomplish your goal?
4. Do you find yourself doing whatever you can to receive compliments from family members even though they always overlook you?
Most people have an "I'm Right Complex" that you won't be able to change. Anyone that tries to tell you that your way of doing something is wrong is being manipulative. They want to keep you stuck where you're at because they're afraid of losing you or they're jealous of you. This is their problem and not yours. You may decide to keep your ideas and life to yourself.
Approval seeking is draining and no way to live your life. Be who you are and do what you want to do. If you're not happy then no one will be happy. If family and friends, co-workers, and others can't understand why you want to write a book, move, start your own business, or switch careers, there's nothing you can do about it. Live your life for you and be happy. It's not your job to convince people or explain to them why you're doing what you're doing. Give up the idea of 'approval seeking' and start living your life before it's too late!
We'd like to believe that family and friends will support us no matter what but sometimes that doesn't happen. Why doesn't? One reason is they don't understand your dreams and goals. They may be so scared that they couldn't imagine picking up and moving to another state or country. They couldn't imagine starting their own business or traveling the world. Fear paralyzes most people; there's no way they could understand why you want to do the things you want to do.
How do you know if you live for approval?
1. Do you always do what's best for others and not you?
2. Do you always say YES even when you want to say NO?
3. Do you put your dreams on hold or forget about them all together because family and friends say it will be too hard or there's no way you can accomplish your goal?
4. Do you find yourself doing whatever you can to receive compliments from family members even though they always overlook you?
Most people have an "I'm Right Complex" that you won't be able to change. Anyone that tries to tell you that your way of doing something is wrong is being manipulative. They want to keep you stuck where you're at because they're afraid of losing you or they're jealous of you. This is their problem and not yours. You may decide to keep your ideas and life to yourself.
Approval seeking is draining and no way to live your life. Be who you are and do what you want to do. If you're not happy then no one will be happy. If family and friends, co-workers, and others can't understand why you want to write a book, move, start your own business, or switch careers, there's nothing you can do about it. Live your life for you and be happy. It's not your job to convince people or explain to them why you're doing what you're doing. Give up the idea of 'approval seeking' and start living your life before it's too late!
7 Ways to Consciously Use the Law of Attraction in Your Life
The Law of Attraction has been around since the beginning of time. Abraham Hicks, The Teachings of Abraham, speak about the law of attraction and how it's active in your everyday life. When you focus on negativity, you attract negative circumstances in your life. When you focus on positivity, you attract positive circumstances in your life. Take a moment to look at your life. Do you have happiness and joy or sorrow and pain? Most people have the latter. You have the power within you to change the course of your life. No one else can make that decision for you!
7 ways to access the law of attraction
1. Put love into everything you do. When you awake, declare that you'll have a great day no matter what comes your way and that you love the new day that's ahead of you. Expect a day filled with love and kindness and watch how it shows up in your day-to-day activities.
2. Focus upon what you want not what you don't want. Most people can tell you what they don't want, but they can't tell you what they want. Abraham would refer to this as contrast. If you know what you don't want, use that to discover what you do want.
3. Have an attitude of gratitude and or appreciation. What are you grateful for? What do you appreciation? Keep an appreciation or gratitude journal. Look around you and give thanks for what you have instead of focusing on what you don't have.
4. Declare that your desires are already manifested. Instead of writing in your journal, "I want a job or I'm going to get a great job," write the following: "I am so happy and grateful for my new job and wonderful co-workers." This puts it in the present tense. Teens who want straight A's in school, declare "I receive all A's in all of my classes."
5. Act as if. Instead of thinking about when you'll receive your dream job, act as if. Set the alarm and get up at the same time each day. Say, "I am so happy and grateful for my great job, boss, co-workers, and opportunities with the organization." Act as if you already have your dream job or whatever it is you desire and you'll attract it to you. Teens who want to release weight, say "My clothes easily fit my body; I weigh (fill in the blank) and enjoy weighing my ideal weight; I love to exercise and easily move in my body; and I am healthy fit.
6. Use affirmations. An affirmation is a positive statement such as "I am healthy and wealthy; I am prosperous; I am physically fit; I am calm and peaceful; I am happy; I am deserving and worthy; and I am loved.
7. Know the "inner" you. Society focuses on the outside. Unfortunately, your inner world creates your outer world. If your inner world is tumultuous, your outside world will be chaotic and filled with negativity. Examine your life and see if it's filled with beauty and positive attributes or darkness and negative attributes.
7 ways to access the law of attraction
1. Put love into everything you do. When you awake, declare that you'll have a great day no matter what comes your way and that you love the new day that's ahead of you. Expect a day filled with love and kindness and watch how it shows up in your day-to-day activities.
2. Focus upon what you want not what you don't want. Most people can tell you what they don't want, but they can't tell you what they want. Abraham would refer to this as contrast. If you know what you don't want, use that to discover what you do want.
3. Have an attitude of gratitude and or appreciation. What are you grateful for? What do you appreciation? Keep an appreciation or gratitude journal. Look around you and give thanks for what you have instead of focusing on what you don't have.
4. Declare that your desires are already manifested. Instead of writing in your journal, "I want a job or I'm going to get a great job," write the following: "I am so happy and grateful for my new job and wonderful co-workers." This puts it in the present tense. Teens who want straight A's in school, declare "I receive all A's in all of my classes."
5. Act as if. Instead of thinking about when you'll receive your dream job, act as if. Set the alarm and get up at the same time each day. Say, "I am so happy and grateful for my great job, boss, co-workers, and opportunities with the organization." Act as if you already have your dream job or whatever it is you desire and you'll attract it to you. Teens who want to release weight, say "My clothes easily fit my body; I weigh (fill in the blank) and enjoy weighing my ideal weight; I love to exercise and easily move in my body; and I am healthy fit.
6. Use affirmations. An affirmation is a positive statement such as "I am healthy and wealthy; I am prosperous; I am physically fit; I am calm and peaceful; I am happy; I am deserving and worthy; and I am loved.
7. Know the "inner" you. Society focuses on the outside. Unfortunately, your inner world creates your outer world. If your inner world is tumultuous, your outside world will be chaotic and filled with negativity. Examine your life and see if it's filled with beauty and positive attributes or darkness and negative attributes.
7 Ways to Let Go Of Toxic People
Toxic people are all around you. The most prevalent are family, friends, bosses, and co-workers. Their negativity can infect your mind, body, and soul and multiply like cancer! This isn’t healthy for you. If you’re uneasy about severing ties with toxic people, you may want to consider that your health and happiness are more important.
The quicker teens and parents learn how to cut ties with toxic people the better. Everyone has friends that are “part-time” friends. These are friends who talk to you from time to time but only seek you out when they have problems. With friends like these, you don’t need enemies! You may have friends that are whiners and complainers. They always have problems but never solutions. These people can drain your energy. Do you really want to hang out with these people?
7 ways to let go of toxic people
1. Sever ties with “part-time” friends. These are friends who contact you when they need something or have a problem. They’re not true friends.
2. Give family and friends a time limit for whining and complaining. Set a timer for 15 or 20 minutes. Once it goes off the whining and complaining stops! Wallowing in negativity isn’t healthy.
3. Set your boundaries. People will walk all over you and invade your space if you let them. Make it clear of what is and isn’t acceptable.
4. Just say No! Some people are takers and not givers. If your friends are constantly asking you for favors and don’t reciprocate, there really not your friend.
5. Limit the amount of time you spend with negative family members. This may be a challenge if you live with them. Acknowledge them, center yourself, and don’t “shadow dance” with them. If they want to have a “pity party” let them have it but don’t participate!
6. Stand up for yourself and voice your opinions. If people can’t respect your thoughts and opinions, they’re not worth your time. True friends will listen to you and respect what you say. They may not agree with it but they’ll listen to you.
7. Walk away. Write a letter or send an email. Do a releasing ritual by writing down a person’s or peoples name and burning it; write the names of people you’re releasing on a piece of paper, fill a container with water, place the paper in the container, and stick the container in the freezer (leave it there for three to six months); and write the names of people you’d like to release in a journal and release them by saying, “You’re free and I’m free, you’re in your sacred space and I’m in my sacred space.”
The quicker teens and parents learn how to cut ties with toxic people the better. Everyone has friends that are “part-time” friends. These are friends who talk to you from time to time but only seek you out when they have problems. With friends like these, you don’t need enemies! You may have friends that are whiners and complainers. They always have problems but never solutions. These people can drain your energy. Do you really want to hang out with these people?
7 ways to let go of toxic people
1. Sever ties with “part-time” friends. These are friends who contact you when they need something or have a problem. They’re not true friends.
2. Give family and friends a time limit for whining and complaining. Set a timer for 15 or 20 minutes. Once it goes off the whining and complaining stops! Wallowing in negativity isn’t healthy.
3. Set your boundaries. People will walk all over you and invade your space if you let them. Make it clear of what is and isn’t acceptable.
4. Just say No! Some people are takers and not givers. If your friends are constantly asking you for favors and don’t reciprocate, there really not your friend.
5. Limit the amount of time you spend with negative family members. This may be a challenge if you live with them. Acknowledge them, center yourself, and don’t “shadow dance” with them. If they want to have a “pity party” let them have it but don’t participate!
6. Stand up for yourself and voice your opinions. If people can’t respect your thoughts and opinions, they’re not worth your time. True friends will listen to you and respect what you say. They may not agree with it but they’ll listen to you.
7. Walk away. Write a letter or send an email. Do a releasing ritual by writing down a person’s or peoples name and burning it; write the names of people you’re releasing on a piece of paper, fill a container with water, place the paper in the container, and stick the container in the freezer (leave it there for three to six months); and write the names of people you’d like to release in a journal and release them by saying, “You’re free and I’m free, you’re in your sacred space and I’m in my sacred space.”
What is Your Financial Blueprint?
If you and your family are living in mediocrity or poverty, take a look at your blueprint. What is your financial blueprint? It's made up of biology and culture. If your mom or dad is prone to depression or negative thinking chances are you could follow in their footsteps. Perhaps you come from a family that always struggles to pay the bills. Maybe your parents are in debt and can't see a way out of it. The thoughts your think and feelings you feel contribute to your financial blueprint.
Did you know that your mind is programmed by the time you're five-years-old? That's right. If you grew up in a healthy, wealthy environment where people were speaking positive words, it will affect your psyche. Maybe your mom and dad have a good attitude about money and finances. As a baby you could have heard the following, "...I'm so happy and grateful for all the money that's in my life now and in the future; Money flows easily and effortlessly into my life; or I welcome income opportunities into my life that are for my highest good." On the flip side, you could have heard the following, "...Money's tight; The rich keep getting rich and the poor keep getting poor; There's never enough money; Money doesn't grow on trees; and Filthy, stinking rich!" If you heard these when you were growing up, chances are you have a "poor" financial blueprint. What does this mean? It doesn't matter how many self-help books you read or seminars and workshops you attend, you won't prosper unless you change your internal paradigm.
Shifting your financial blueprint
1. Stop listening to the news reports about the economy, quit reading internet reports, and close your ears to family members who complain about the economy.
2. Examine your childhood and the thoughts/beliefs that were held around money. What did you hear growing up? Make a list of the saying your parents had or have about money. These saying could be ruining your financial blueprint.
3. Reading a book such as Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill is fine as long as you practice it every day. Most people read self-help books and put them on the bookshelf. They sit there and collect dust. Meanwhile the checking and savings accounts are going down instead of up. In order to change a habit you MUST PRACTICE and commit to a plan. You could re-read chapters from your favorite book and do the exercises that are provided. Repetition is the key.
4. Surround yourself with positive people who are committed to changing their financial blueprint. Everyone needs support. Why not be around people who actually want to become part of the 2% of the wealthy.
Shifting your paradigm is the key. You have a conscious mind that accepts and rejects information. If you believe or accept that the "rich are getting rich and the poor are getting poor" then you won't move forward in your financial blueprint because it will trickle down to your subconscious mind. You'll stay stuck in your finances.
Take a look at your beliefs around money and finances. Are they true? How do you know they're true? If you were programmed by the time you were five-years-old this means that you had no control as a baby to tell your parents to be quiet. However, as a teen or adult, you have a choice over the thoughts your think and what you believe. Your family may think certain thoughts around money or have certain beliefs but you don't have to do so. You have FREE WILL to think what you want. How cool is that?
Look at your family and culture to discover your financial blueprint. Remember, some people thrive all of the time, even in times when the economy isn't so great. In fact, there are many people thriving right now. How can you be one of them? Change your thoughts and beliefs and your outside world changes.
Did you know that your mind is programmed by the time you're five-years-old? That's right. If you grew up in a healthy, wealthy environment where people were speaking positive words, it will affect your psyche. Maybe your mom and dad have a good attitude about money and finances. As a baby you could have heard the following, "...I'm so happy and grateful for all the money that's in my life now and in the future; Money flows easily and effortlessly into my life; or I welcome income opportunities into my life that are for my highest good." On the flip side, you could have heard the following, "...Money's tight; The rich keep getting rich and the poor keep getting poor; There's never enough money; Money doesn't grow on trees; and Filthy, stinking rich!" If you heard these when you were growing up, chances are you have a "poor" financial blueprint. What does this mean? It doesn't matter how many self-help books you read or seminars and workshops you attend, you won't prosper unless you change your internal paradigm.
Shifting your financial blueprint
1. Stop listening to the news reports about the economy, quit reading internet reports, and close your ears to family members who complain about the economy.
2. Examine your childhood and the thoughts/beliefs that were held around money. What did you hear growing up? Make a list of the saying your parents had or have about money. These saying could be ruining your financial blueprint.
3. Reading a book such as Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill is fine as long as you practice it every day. Most people read self-help books and put them on the bookshelf. They sit there and collect dust. Meanwhile the checking and savings accounts are going down instead of up. In order to change a habit you MUST PRACTICE and commit to a plan. You could re-read chapters from your favorite book and do the exercises that are provided. Repetition is the key.
4. Surround yourself with positive people who are committed to changing their financial blueprint. Everyone needs support. Why not be around people who actually want to become part of the 2% of the wealthy.
Shifting your paradigm is the key. You have a conscious mind that accepts and rejects information. If you believe or accept that the "rich are getting rich and the poor are getting poor" then you won't move forward in your financial blueprint because it will trickle down to your subconscious mind. You'll stay stuck in your finances.
Take a look at your beliefs around money and finances. Are they true? How do you know they're true? If you were programmed by the time you were five-years-old this means that you had no control as a baby to tell your parents to be quiet. However, as a teen or adult, you have a choice over the thoughts your think and what you believe. Your family may think certain thoughts around money or have certain beliefs but you don't have to do so. You have FREE WILL to think what you want. How cool is that?
Look at your family and culture to discover your financial blueprint. Remember, some people thrive all of the time, even in times when the economy isn't so great. In fact, there are many people thriving right now. How can you be one of them? Change your thoughts and beliefs and your outside world changes.
What is Your Self-Concept and Self-Image?
Many people have a poor understanding of themselves. They do not understand self-concept and self-image. In fact, self-concept and self-image are not the same. If you’re struggling with your self-image, it may help if some light is shed on self-concept and self-image.
You’re not alone, many people struggle with their self-concept and self-image. Today, teenagers often struggle with their self-concept and self-image. As adults the struggle will continue if you do not address your feelings and thoughts. Take control once and for all.
What is self-concept?
Self-concept is simply what you understand about yourself. It differs from self-image because it involves your social abilities and character, physical appearance and body image, and thinking.
According to More-Self Esteem, “…Your self concept is your understanding of unchanging characteristics you have:
Social
* Are you sociable?
* Are you shy?
* Are you confident?
Physical
* Are you tall?
* Are you fat?
* Are you handsome?
Psychological
* Are you pessimistic or optimistic?
* Are you a happy?
* Can you make decisions easily?
Can you change your self concept? The answer is YES because you can change the following:
* Your attitudes
* Your moods
* Your values
* Your beliefs
If you change your attitude or your thinking you can improve your self concept and your self esteem as well.”
You see, your self-concept is defined by you. You have the power to change your thoughts, moods, values and beliefs. Change your thoughts, change your life.
What is self-image?
Self-image is the mental picture of how you see yourself. Men and women usually are resistant to change their self-image because it was defined and shaped at an early age. Family and friends can contribute to a poor self-image.
For example, if you were criticized or degraded when you were a child or teenager, then you are likely to have a poor self-image as an adult. You may suffer from self-esteem issues as well.
Self image includes the following:
* How you see yourself physically (body image)
* What others think of you or what you perceive them to think of you
* What you think about your personality
* Your status
* The kind of person you think you are
It would behoove you to define your self-image. Do not allow others to do it for you. Their perceptions are often different from our own perception of us. In fact, your self-image is usually worse than what people actually think of you.
Men and women suffer from self-image and self-esteem issues. However, it’s more common for women to have a poor self-image than men. Women harshly judged themselves and each other. They constantly compare themselves to celebrities, even though the pictures of celebrities are airbrushed and touched-up in Photoshop.
The good news is that you have the power to change your self-image which can boost your self-esteem. The key is to lighten up on you. Remember, no one is perfect — even though Hollywood have you believe differently.
Take a good look at yourself in the mirror. You are important and special because you exist. Everyone deserves the best in the life. Don’t get hung up on outward appearances. Learn to love yourself the way you are.
However, if you find that you do not like your hair — change it with a new hairstyle and color. Your inside appearance is more important than your outward appearance. More importantly, once you learn to love and accept yourself, your outward appearance and experiences will emulate the way you feel on the inside. Remember, it’s all in your head!
You’re not alone, many people struggle with their self-concept and self-image. Today, teenagers often struggle with their self-concept and self-image. As adults the struggle will continue if you do not address your feelings and thoughts. Take control once and for all.
What is self-concept?
Self-concept is simply what you understand about yourself. It differs from self-image because it involves your social abilities and character, physical appearance and body image, and thinking.
According to More-Self Esteem, “…Your self concept is your understanding of unchanging characteristics you have:
Social
* Are you sociable?
* Are you shy?
* Are you confident?
Physical
* Are you tall?
* Are you fat?
* Are you handsome?
Psychological
* Are you pessimistic or optimistic?
* Are you a happy?
* Can you make decisions easily?
Can you change your self concept? The answer is YES because you can change the following:
* Your attitudes
* Your moods
* Your values
* Your beliefs
If you change your attitude or your thinking you can improve your self concept and your self esteem as well.”
You see, your self-concept is defined by you. You have the power to change your thoughts, moods, values and beliefs. Change your thoughts, change your life.
What is self-image?
Self-image is the mental picture of how you see yourself. Men and women usually are resistant to change their self-image because it was defined and shaped at an early age. Family and friends can contribute to a poor self-image.
For example, if you were criticized or degraded when you were a child or teenager, then you are likely to have a poor self-image as an adult. You may suffer from self-esteem issues as well.
Self image includes the following:
* How you see yourself physically (body image)
* What others think of you or what you perceive them to think of you
* What you think about your personality
* Your status
* The kind of person you think you are
It would behoove you to define your self-image. Do not allow others to do it for you. Their perceptions are often different from our own perception of us. In fact, your self-image is usually worse than what people actually think of you.
Men and women suffer from self-image and self-esteem issues. However, it’s more common for women to have a poor self-image than men. Women harshly judged themselves and each other. They constantly compare themselves to celebrities, even though the pictures of celebrities are airbrushed and touched-up in Photoshop.
The good news is that you have the power to change your self-image which can boost your self-esteem. The key is to lighten up on you. Remember, no one is perfect — even though Hollywood have you believe differently.
Take a good look at yourself in the mirror. You are important and special because you exist. Everyone deserves the best in the life. Don’t get hung up on outward appearances. Learn to love yourself the way you are.
However, if you find that you do not like your hair — change it with a new hairstyle and color. Your inside appearance is more important than your outward appearance. More importantly, once you learn to love and accept yourself, your outward appearance and experiences will emulate the way you feel on the inside. Remember, it’s all in your head!
Stop Trying to be Someone Else
Many teens and adults often hide who they really are. They're not being their authentic self. What I mean by that is you cover up who you really are with a mask that will make others happy and approve of you. This is not a way to live. Who has the right to tell you how you should be? Just be yourself. This may be easier said than
done when you're in high school.
Being your is easier said than done, I get it. When you're in high school you have peer pressure and just want to fit in with the rest of the crowd. What if the crowd is wrong for you? Perhaps you're not interested in being "Miss or Mr. popular" in high school. There's nothing wrong with just being you. If you like to wear jeans and a T-shirt, wear jeans and T-shirt. Don't go out and purchase everything from Abercrombie & Fitch because that's what everyone else is wearing. That's totally boring.
If you actually like school embrace it. There's nothing wrong with being a bookworm. Just make sure you balance it out with going out with your friends to the movies or volunteering. Books can teach you only so much. You can learn more from "real life" than from books. Experiencing life is a great teacher. In fact, book and street smarts can take you a long way. You'll learn some valuable lesson from the "book of life" hat will serve you well.
The next time you feel pressured to "fit in" stop and think, "what purpose will it serve?" Remember, you're only in high school for four years. After that you'll go off to college or university, attend a trade school, or travel (if you're lucky). In my opinion high school is overrated. It's not really that big of a deal. It feels that way sometimes, but it really is not that big of a deal. Before you know it you'll be in and out of high school in a flash. Use that time to discover who you are.
Being you will make you happy and free. Who has the right to tell you what to do or how you ought to be? If you don't honor yourself today, tomorrow you'll be pleasing other people before you please yourself. That's no way to live. If you learn at an early age to please yourself it will be easier to do things for others because you want to do so.
There's no other person you have to be except you. What would make you want to be life someone else? Who's to say that the person you'd like to be like is happy. Often time people where masks and you don't see their true persona. Look beneath the surface if you want to discover the true essence of a person. The only thing you can do is be you and be happy!
done when you're in high school.
Being your is easier said than done, I get it. When you're in high school you have peer pressure and just want to fit in with the rest of the crowd. What if the crowd is wrong for you? Perhaps you're not interested in being "Miss or Mr. popular" in high school. There's nothing wrong with just being you. If you like to wear jeans and a T-shirt, wear jeans and T-shirt. Don't go out and purchase everything from Abercrombie & Fitch because that's what everyone else is wearing. That's totally boring.
If you actually like school embrace it. There's nothing wrong with being a bookworm. Just make sure you balance it out with going out with your friends to the movies or volunteering. Books can teach you only so much. You can learn more from "real life" than from books. Experiencing life is a great teacher. In fact, book and street smarts can take you a long way. You'll learn some valuable lesson from the "book of life" hat will serve you well.
The next time you feel pressured to "fit in" stop and think, "what purpose will it serve?" Remember, you're only in high school for four years. After that you'll go off to college or university, attend a trade school, or travel (if you're lucky). In my opinion high school is overrated. It's not really that big of a deal. It feels that way sometimes, but it really is not that big of a deal. Before you know it you'll be in and out of high school in a flash. Use that time to discover who you are.
Being you will make you happy and free. Who has the right to tell you what to do or how you ought to be? If you don't honor yourself today, tomorrow you'll be pleasing other people before you please yourself. That's no way to live. If you learn at an early age to please yourself it will be easier to do things for others because you want to do so.
There's no other person you have to be except you. What would make you want to be life someone else? Who's to say that the person you'd like to be like is happy. Often time people where masks and you don't see their true persona. Look beneath the surface if you want to discover the true essence of a person. The only thing you can do is be you and be happy!
Follow Your Dreams -- Listen to You!
Listen up teens. If you're in high school, you're probably being pulled in many different directions. You're probably suffering from the WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE syndrome. Your parents probably mean well, but ultimately it's YOUR LIFE! Do what you want to do and follow your dreams. You may come from a family of lawyers, engineers, doctors, marine biologists, or whatever careers are prevalent within your family, but this does not mean it's your purpose. If you're being forced into something you do not want to do, speak up and stand strong in your convictions. Remember, it's your life!
Yes, you can make a ton of money, but will you be happy? Probably not. You'll fill the void with excesses such as material items, food, alcohol, drugs, gambling, or whatever catches your eye. If you follow your passion, you'll be successful. The key is to do WHAT YOU WANT TO DO, not what someone else wants you to do.
Take it from me, I followed what others wanted me to do and was MISERABLE in my accounting career. My passion was in the arts, specifically writing and design. Later I developed a passion for leadership and public relations. My latest passion is coaching, public speaking, and teaching. Together I can combine all of these passions and live my authentic life.
Accounting was not my passion. This was not fair to me or my employers. The "real" reason why I chose this path was to receive love, affection, and for people to be proud of me. This is a bogus reason. Be proud and love yourself. Your parents do the best they can. If they were not raised in a healthy environment, chances are they'll pass some "issues" onto you. Don't blame them, it's not their fault.
Take control of your life and follow your dreams. Do not WASTE YOUR TALENTS by going into a career that you'll not enjoy doing each day. People will try to persuade you to follow another path, but don't do it! You're susceptible to suffer regret later on in life. Follow what is in your "heart and gut" and you'll be just fine. Listen to others, but ultimately your life is yours and yours alone. Surround yourself with positive, uplifting people who will support you and your dreams. Good luck!
Yes, you can make a ton of money, but will you be happy? Probably not. You'll fill the void with excesses such as material items, food, alcohol, drugs, gambling, or whatever catches your eye. If you follow your passion, you'll be successful. The key is to do WHAT YOU WANT TO DO, not what someone else wants you to do.
Take it from me, I followed what others wanted me to do and was MISERABLE in my accounting career. My passion was in the arts, specifically writing and design. Later I developed a passion for leadership and public relations. My latest passion is coaching, public speaking, and teaching. Together I can combine all of these passions and live my authentic life.
Accounting was not my passion. This was not fair to me or my employers. The "real" reason why I chose this path was to receive love, affection, and for people to be proud of me. This is a bogus reason. Be proud and love yourself. Your parents do the best they can. If they were not raised in a healthy environment, chances are they'll pass some "issues" onto you. Don't blame them, it's not their fault.
Take control of your life and follow your dreams. Do not WASTE YOUR TALENTS by going into a career that you'll not enjoy doing each day. People will try to persuade you to follow another path, but don't do it! You're susceptible to suffer regret later on in life. Follow what is in your "heart and gut" and you'll be just fine. Listen to others, but ultimately your life is yours and yours alone. Surround yourself with positive, uplifting people who will support you and your dreams. Good luck!
The Hills Lauren Conrad Learns a Valuable Career Lesson
Lauren Conrad a.k.a. L.C. from The Hills learned a valuable lesson about getting a friend a job where you work. Usually this can backfire as it did for Lauren and her friend Stephanie Pratt. Lauren's boss, Kelly Cutrone, founder of People's Revolution made her fire Stephanie Pratt. Kelly made it clear to Lauren that if Stephanie messed up, she would be the one to fire her. Kelly kept her word and Lauren fired Stephanie. It was a tense situation for both Lauren and Stephanie.
Lesson
If you get your friend a job where you work, you better be prepared to take responsibility for their actions. Yes, they are responsible for their job. However, you're the one that recommended them to your boss. If you swear up and down that your friend can handle the position, you better be prepared if they don't do a great job. It will fall on you. That's just the way it is sometimes.
Before you tell your friend about a job opening, you better make sure BEYOND A SHADOW OF A DOUBT that she can handle the job and is up for it. If not, keep your mouth shut. If you're friend finds out that there's is a job opening at your place of employment, make sure you let her know that SHE IS RESPONSIBLE for doing the job NOT you! Tell her about the company and make sure she understands the dynamics of the company.
Fashion Industry
If you have a strong desire to work in the fashion industry, you better be prepared to WORK! This is not an industry that is to be taken lightly. If you want to succeed, you must work at your dreams and give it your all. It appeared that Stephanie did not do that. Of course, one must take into consideration how the show is edited. However, when Lauren phoned Stephanie to ask about the pieces for a photo shoot, Stephanie's answer was, "...I'm at lunch, and I thought the pieces were in the bags." This was the wrong answer. The correct answer is, "...I'm having lunch at such and such place, and I'm leaving now for People's Revolution and will call you when I get there." You don't finish your lunch. Stephanie made herself and Lauren look bad to Kelly and the people at the photo shoot!
Conclusion
Sometimes it's not best to work with family and friends. It's great if you have the same personality and work ethic. If you don't, you could be asking for trouble! Working with friends and family may add stress to your life. If you don't want to be put into the same situation as Lauren, think twice about working with family and friends. Lauren was torn up about firing her friend. She did what she had to do. And, Kelly was serious about making her fire Stephanie. Talk about a REALITY check!
Lesson
If you get your friend a job where you work, you better be prepared to take responsibility for their actions. Yes, they are responsible for their job. However, you're the one that recommended them to your boss. If you swear up and down that your friend can handle the position, you better be prepared if they don't do a great job. It will fall on you. That's just the way it is sometimes.
Before you tell your friend about a job opening, you better make sure BEYOND A SHADOW OF A DOUBT that she can handle the job and is up for it. If not, keep your mouth shut. If you're friend finds out that there's is a job opening at your place of employment, make sure you let her know that SHE IS RESPONSIBLE for doing the job NOT you! Tell her about the company and make sure she understands the dynamics of the company.
Fashion Industry
If you have a strong desire to work in the fashion industry, you better be prepared to WORK! This is not an industry that is to be taken lightly. If you want to succeed, you must work at your dreams and give it your all. It appeared that Stephanie did not do that. Of course, one must take into consideration how the show is edited. However, when Lauren phoned Stephanie to ask about the pieces for a photo shoot, Stephanie's answer was, "...I'm at lunch, and I thought the pieces were in the bags." This was the wrong answer. The correct answer is, "...I'm having lunch at such and such place, and I'm leaving now for People's Revolution and will call you when I get there." You don't finish your lunch. Stephanie made herself and Lauren look bad to Kelly and the people at the photo shoot!
Conclusion
Sometimes it's not best to work with family and friends. It's great if you have the same personality and work ethic. If you don't, you could be asking for trouble! Working with friends and family may add stress to your life. If you don't want to be put into the same situation as Lauren, think twice about working with family and friends. Lauren was torn up about firing her friend. She did what she had to do. And, Kelly was serious about making her fire Stephanie. Talk about a REALITY check!
Would You Like to be Your Own Boss?
Some of you may have aspirations of working in Corporate America, there's nothing wrong with this. It's important to follow YOUR DREAMS and NOT what someone thinks you SHOULD do. However, you may consider having multiple streams of income. There's nothing wrong with having EXTRA income coming into your bank account. To do this, you may consider a network marketing opportunity. Please beware, all NETWORK MARKETING opportunities are not the same. You must be discerning when you consider a network marketing opportunity.
For example, in addition to writing, designing, coaching, teaching, and speaking, I recent got involved with a network marketing opportunity with a Swiss skin care company. You can visit my site I Am A Natural.MyArbonne.com and check out the opportunity. This would be a great opportunity for YOU and YOUR PARENTS to do together. It would teach you about generating passive income -- continuous income that is generated over and over again.
With passive income, you can do what YOU want to do. If you want to volunteer for a year in Africa with an organization, you can do so without worrying about what you're going to do for money. In fact, you could donate a portion of your income to the organization. They would appreciate it as well as the people.
It's good to have a "backup" in addition to your "regular" job. With the extra income you earn, you could save your money, donate to your favorite charities, help family, or start your own business. If you learn early how to make passive income and manager your money, you'll be ahead of the game!
For example, in addition to writing, designing, coaching, teaching, and speaking, I recent got involved with a network marketing opportunity with a Swiss skin care company. You can visit my site I Am A Natural.MyArbonne.com and check out the opportunity. This would be a great opportunity for YOU and YOUR PARENTS to do together. It would teach you about generating passive income -- continuous income that is generated over and over again.
With passive income, you can do what YOU want to do. If you want to volunteer for a year in Africa with an organization, you can do so without worrying about what you're going to do for money. In fact, you could donate a portion of your income to the organization. They would appreciate it as well as the people.
It's good to have a "backup" in addition to your "regular" job. With the extra income you earn, you could save your money, donate to your favorite charities, help family, or start your own business. If you learn early how to make passive income and manager your money, you'll be ahead of the game!
Assessing Leadership Skills
What does it take to be a good leader? Do you think you’re ready to move into a leadership position at your organization? A person may “climb the corporate” ladder but that does not mean he or she has leadership ability. Unfortunately, most people are promoted based on seniority instead of their qualifications. Seniority is not a good reason to promote someone to a leadership, management, or supervisory position.
Leadership is imperative to an organization's success. Without proper leadership, a business will fail in more ways than one. Many employees become disgruntled and disillusioned with the jobs and the organizations they work for. The bottom line is that people at the top "talk the talk, but do not walk the walk." They talk a good game about what it means to be a leader, but often do not practice what they preach. They hire individuals who do not properly fill leadership roles within the organization.
Top 10 List
1. Inspire and motive people.
2. Confident and trustworthy.
3. Committed to succeed and meet all goals. Never give up!
4. Non-verbal and verbal communication skills. Say what you mean, mean what you say.
5. Receptive to constructive criticism.
6. Apologizes and admits mistakes.
7. Listens with an open mind.
8. Self-starter who takes calculated risks.
9. Empowers others to think for themselves.
10. Time management.
Bonus!
If you are not familiar with “Principle Centered Leadership” by Stephen R. Covey or the essay “The Servant as Leader” by Robert Greenleaf you may want to visit Barnes and Noble. Improve your leadership skills today!
Links to Leadership
1. The Art and Science of Leadership.
2. Center for Creative Leadership.
3. The Five P’s of Leadership.
4. Leadership 501.
Leadership is imperative to an organization's success. Without proper leadership, a business will fail in more ways than one. Many employees become disgruntled and disillusioned with the jobs and the organizations they work for. The bottom line is that people at the top "talk the talk, but do not walk the walk." They talk a good game about what it means to be a leader, but often do not practice what they preach. They hire individuals who do not properly fill leadership roles within the organization.
Top 10 List
1. Inspire and motive people.
2. Confident and trustworthy.
3. Committed to succeed and meet all goals. Never give up!
4. Non-verbal and verbal communication skills. Say what you mean, mean what you say.
5. Receptive to constructive criticism.
6. Apologizes and admits mistakes.
7. Listens with an open mind.
8. Self-starter who takes calculated risks.
9. Empowers others to think for themselves.
10. Time management.
Bonus!
If you are not familiar with “Principle Centered Leadership” by Stephen R. Covey or the essay “The Servant as Leader” by Robert Greenleaf you may want to visit Barnes and Noble. Improve your leadership skills today!
Links to Leadership
1. The Art and Science of Leadership.
2. Center for Creative Leadership.
3. The Five P’s of Leadership.
4. Leadership 501.
Mind Your Mind
You may not have been born into what is known as the "ideal" family. You know, it's the family with two loving, stable parents, a big house and backyard, and all of the amenities that you could imagine from food to material items. You may have been born into a family that has a limited mind-set and believes that others are responsible for their miserable, poor life. You have a choice when it comes to your life. You can "think" and "feel" your way to a better life.
Your mind is yours and yours alone. There's no written rule that says you MUST follow what your family, friends, or society thinks. Dr. Dyer refers to this as "Is this True?" in his book Excuses Begone. For example, perhaps your family has limited thoughts around money. Maybe they say things like, "...money is hard to come by" or "you must work had to earn money." How do you know that these are true? How do you know that they're not true? Instead of looking at the negative, take the positive approach. There's absolutely no proof that "money is hard to come by" because people prosper each day. Their thoughts about money DO NOT come from a "fear based" place. Instead, you could say, "...it might be true that money may be come to hard by, but then again it may not be. I'll take the positive and more helpful approach that "money is NOT hard to come by and that it flows easily to me." It's about perception and perspective.
If you begin NOW at an early age to monitor and “think” about your thoughts, your adult life will be a very prosperous and healthy one. Don’t go with flow and take on others thoughts and feelings about certain subjects such as money. In fact, you may want to take a look at their life and see how great it is.
The mind is a very powerful tool. Some people use the term “thought viruses.” Meaning one person can have a negative thought such as “you must work hard to earn money.” Before you know it, this thought has spread like wildfire through your family to your friends and to society.
So many people suffer from diseases in the body because it starts as a seed in the mind and manifests within the body. This is why people pronounce the word “disease” as “dis-ease.” It means that you’re not at ease within in your body and mind. Once you give your attention to stressful and negative thinking, your body responds to and creates as something such as hives, acne, or worse.
Protect your mind and think your own thoughts. Be mindful of those mind viruses that are running rampant right now through the U.S. and the world! You can be, do, and create the life you desire. If you want to be an artist or go to a particular school, don’t listen to others who may say “you can’t do that.” They don’t know if that’s true or not!
Your mind is yours and yours alone. There's no written rule that says you MUST follow what your family, friends, or society thinks. Dr. Dyer refers to this as "Is this True?" in his book Excuses Begone. For example, perhaps your family has limited thoughts around money. Maybe they say things like, "...money is hard to come by" or "you must work had to earn money." How do you know that these are true? How do you know that they're not true? Instead of looking at the negative, take the positive approach. There's absolutely no proof that "money is hard to come by" because people prosper each day. Their thoughts about money DO NOT come from a "fear based" place. Instead, you could say, "...it might be true that money may be come to hard by, but then again it may not be. I'll take the positive and more helpful approach that "money is NOT hard to come by and that it flows easily to me." It's about perception and perspective.
If you begin NOW at an early age to monitor and “think” about your thoughts, your adult life will be a very prosperous and healthy one. Don’t go with flow and take on others thoughts and feelings about certain subjects such as money. In fact, you may want to take a look at their life and see how great it is.
The mind is a very powerful tool. Some people use the term “thought viruses.” Meaning one person can have a negative thought such as “you must work hard to earn money.” Before you know it, this thought has spread like wildfire through your family to your friends and to society.
So many people suffer from diseases in the body because it starts as a seed in the mind and manifests within the body. This is why people pronounce the word “disease” as “dis-ease.” It means that you’re not at ease within in your body and mind. Once you give your attention to stressful and negative thinking, your body responds to and creates as something such as hives, acne, or worse.
Protect your mind and think your own thoughts. Be mindful of those mind viruses that are running rampant right now through the U.S. and the world! You can be, do, and create the life you desire. If you want to be an artist or go to a particular school, don’t listen to others who may say “you can’t do that.” They don’t know if that’s true or not!
Healthy Immune System -- Build a Healthy Mind and Body
Many teens are susceptible to getting sick. There are many reasons that you get sick: not washing your hands, being around people that are sick, teens who sneeze all over the place, and being around others who don't cover their mouth when they cough.
Did you know that stress can weaken you immune system? Did you know that an unhealthy diet can also weaken your immune system? How about having an unhealthy mind? There are some people who have not been a sick a day in their life. Why is this? Could it be they have low stress levels? Do they think positive thoughts? Do they eat a healthy diet and get plenty of exercise?
To protect your immune system, protect your mind. Limit the amount of news you see and hear. Negativity can weaken your immune system. Besides, most people create their own problems -- it's true. The word disease can be broken down into DIS and EASE. This means there is a dis-ease within the body. Usually, it starts with your mind (thinking) and manifests itself within your body.
Steps to building a healthy mind and body
1. Limit the time you spend with negative people.
2. Limit the amount of news you read and see.
3. Get plenty of exercise -- Yoga is great for the body and mind.
4. Read books that are uplifting (see recommended readings on this site) and will help you to develop your mind.
5. Know that you are all right and good enough.
6. Enjoy being a teen. There's no need to grow up before your time. Take your time.
7. Drink plenty of water.
8. Eat lots of fruits and veggies (the greener, the better).
9. Volunteer or do something that brings you joy (listen to music, art, hanging out with friends).
I know, you've probably heard this before but it's the truth. Not only will you feel better, but you'll look better. It's true. The way you feel on the inside will reflect on the outside. Remember, when you look good, you feel good!
Did you know that stress can weaken you immune system? Did you know that an unhealthy diet can also weaken your immune system? How about having an unhealthy mind? There are some people who have not been a sick a day in their life. Why is this? Could it be they have low stress levels? Do they think positive thoughts? Do they eat a healthy diet and get plenty of exercise?
To protect your immune system, protect your mind. Limit the amount of news you see and hear. Negativity can weaken your immune system. Besides, most people create their own problems -- it's true. The word disease can be broken down into DIS and EASE. This means there is a dis-ease within the body. Usually, it starts with your mind (thinking) and manifests itself within your body.
Steps to building a healthy mind and body
1. Limit the time you spend with negative people.
2. Limit the amount of news you read and see.
3. Get plenty of exercise -- Yoga is great for the body and mind.
4. Read books that are uplifting (see recommended readings on this site) and will help you to develop your mind.
5. Know that you are all right and good enough.
6. Enjoy being a teen. There's no need to grow up before your time. Take your time.
7. Drink plenty of water.
8. Eat lots of fruits and veggies (the greener, the better).
9. Volunteer or do something that brings you joy (listen to music, art, hanging out with friends).
I know, you've probably heard this before but it's the truth. Not only will you feel better, but you'll look better. It's true. The way you feel on the inside will reflect on the outside. Remember, when you look good, you feel good!
Why Carry the Extra Weight?
Many people are overweight. This season of The Biggest Loser has the largest contestants on it. Mike, who is 18-years old is the youngest player ever to be on The Biggest Loser. He tipped the scales at close to 390 lbs! If you did not get on the show, who knows what would have happened to his life.
Jillian and Bob do a good job by helping the people get to the root or core of their weight. This is the key. Being overweight has nothing to do with the fat around your belly, it has to do with what is on the inside of you. Perhaps you were teased as a child by family and friends, maybe you have abandonment issues, or you just feel like you're unworthy. Whatever the reason, you could make the decision to get healthy for YOU!
Mike discovered that he has a lot of anger towards his father Ron. Mike could not understand why his overweight father would not do something about his weight so he could be an example to his kids. Mike’s mom was also overweight, but she did something about it seven or eight years ago. Now Mike's brother Max is feeling left out because Mike, Ron, and mom have slimmed down. This family has a lot of work to do, but they'll make it.
Luckily for Mike, Ron took full responsibility and welcomed his son’s anger. This is very rare. Kudos to Ron for stepping up and owning his part in his son’s battle with weight. Not many parents would admit that they had a hand in making their kids lives miserable.
Reasons you’re overweight
1. Too much on your “shoulders” — everyone depends on you.
2. You are comforting yourself because you’re not feeling loved.
3. You feel that it’s hopeless to lose the weight.
4. You don’t have the support of family and friends.
5. Afraid that people will not accept the new you.
6. You may feel unworthy.
7. You're not motivated or may think "what's the point?"
The key to successful weight loss is to find out the WHY and WHAT of your weight. Why are you carrying the extra weight? What is holding your back from losing it? Why haven’t you taken the time to focus on you? What do you have to lose besides the weight?
When you decide to lose the weight, do it for the right reasons. The number one reason is YOU! It’s great if you want to lose weight because you want to be around for your kids, but if you do not do the “inner work” first, what’s the point of losing weight? You’ll just gain the weight back! Do the inner work first and then create a plan to lose the weight in order to reach your goal of freedom!
Jillian and Bob do a good job by helping the people get to the root or core of their weight. This is the key. Being overweight has nothing to do with the fat around your belly, it has to do with what is on the inside of you. Perhaps you were teased as a child by family and friends, maybe you have abandonment issues, or you just feel like you're unworthy. Whatever the reason, you could make the decision to get healthy for YOU!
Mike discovered that he has a lot of anger towards his father Ron. Mike could not understand why his overweight father would not do something about his weight so he could be an example to his kids. Mike’s mom was also overweight, but she did something about it seven or eight years ago. Now Mike's brother Max is feeling left out because Mike, Ron, and mom have slimmed down. This family has a lot of work to do, but they'll make it.
Luckily for Mike, Ron took full responsibility and welcomed his son’s anger. This is very rare. Kudos to Ron for stepping up and owning his part in his son’s battle with weight. Not many parents would admit that they had a hand in making their kids lives miserable.
Reasons you’re overweight
1. Too much on your “shoulders” — everyone depends on you.
2. You are comforting yourself because you’re not feeling loved.
3. You feel that it’s hopeless to lose the weight.
4. You don’t have the support of family and friends.
5. Afraid that people will not accept the new you.
6. You may feel unworthy.
7. You're not motivated or may think "what's the point?"
The key to successful weight loss is to find out the WHY and WHAT of your weight. Why are you carrying the extra weight? What is holding your back from losing it? Why haven’t you taken the time to focus on you? What do you have to lose besides the weight?
When you decide to lose the weight, do it for the right reasons. The number one reason is YOU! It’s great if you want to lose weight because you want to be around for your kids, but if you do not do the “inner work” first, what’s the point of losing weight? You’ll just gain the weight back! Do the inner work first and then create a plan to lose the weight in order to reach your goal of freedom!
