Cliques are nothing new.  No matter if you're in elementary, junior, or high school, you'll find cliques.  What is a clique?  A clique "is an exclusive group of people who share interests, views, purposes, patterns of behavior, or ethnicity.  Membership in a clique is often, but not necessarily, exclusive, and qualifications for membership may be social or essential to the nature of the clique" (retrieved from Wikipedia on March 9, 2010).

Sometimes cliques can make you feel like crap.  That's just how it is.  You may think that something's wrong with you if you're not part of a clique.  There's nothing wrong with you.  Besides, would you really want to be part of a group that excludes people?  How much fun is that?  What if the teens in the clique are rude or mean to their fellow peers?  How bad do you want that reputation?  Being part of a clique is not what it's cracked up to be.

Most cliques thing they're so important that they can't be bothered with certain people.  These teens need to get over themselves.  When you apply for a job, the hiring manager will not care if you were part of a clique in high school. 

How to handle cliques

1.  Ignore them.  They may dress in clothes from Abercrombie and Fitch, Jimmy Choo, The Buckle, or whatever store is popular.  Who cares!  The clothes are made in other countries for dollars.  They're shipped to the U.S. and slapped with a significant markup.  Jeans with a price tag of $250 jeans were probably made for $2.00 in another country.  That's a brief "economics" lesson for you!  Remember that the next time you go shopping or you overhear someone bragging about their new pair of $250 jeans!

2.  Stand your ground.  Cliques sometimes like to intimidate their fellow teens.  Don't think about it or give it attention.  Stand up for yourself when it's warranted, but consider the source when someone harasses you.  Most people who bully or harass others are insecure.

3.  Go with the flow.  Cliques are nothing new.  If you really want to be part of a clique, ask yourself "why" you want to be part of the group.  What's so great about them?  What do you admire about them?  You may change your mind after you answer these and other questions.

4.  Don't get down on yourself if you're not accepted into a clique.  Being in a clique may seem like a big deal right now, but when you graduate you'll get over it.  You probably won't see these people again, don't fret because the "popular" teens didn't allow you in their clique.

Cliques will come and go.  The popular group today will not be the popular group tomorrow.  If you have true friends, be grateful for them.  Who cares that you're not part of the so called "cool" group.   Just be you because there is no one like you. 

Teens who are desperate to be part of the popular group will most likely continue looking outside of themselves for happiness.  Everything you need is inside of you.  There's nothing outside of you that will make you happy or fill a void.  You must figure out why it's important to be part of a clique.  There's something inside of you that's lacking.  Once you figure out what it is, you will not have the desire to be part of the "in group" at school.  What a relief that will be!

Holding your emotions inside is like being a pressure cooker.  Sooner or later you will explode!  Let your emotions out in a safe and healthy manner.  Holding everything inside of you is not good for you.  Studies have shown that your emotions and thoughts do contribute to your mental and physical well being.

There's no reason to hold your emotions inside of you.  It's cathartic to yell, scream, and cry.  You'll release whatever it is that's upsetting your from your body, mind, and spirit.  You have every right to feel the way you feel.  However, keeping it all inside will not do you any good.

Tips to letting your emotions out

1.  Speak to someone.  Confide in your best friend, sibling, parent(s), teacher(s), guidance counselor, or anyone you feel comfortable speaking to about your feelings.  It's important that you do this in a safe and secure environment.

2.  Punch a pillow.  Ok, punching a pillow may not make you feel better at first, but it could help you to release any frustration you may have.

3.  Workout.  Exercise releases endorphins which help you to feel better.  Doing a high intense cardio workout such as kickboxing, spinning, running, or hiking is a great way to release your emotions.  It's better to pound the pavement instead of the person who upset you!

4.  Martial Arts.  Take up any type of martial arts.  It will teach you discipline and focus. 

5.  Get creative.  Draw, paint, sing, dance, do graphic design, write, design jewelry, or do pottery.  Creativity is a great release of your emotions because you can put your heart and soul into a project.  Channel your energy into what makes you happy.

6.  Go for a walk.  Get outside and enjoy nature.  Listen to the birds chirp and breathe in the fresh air.

7.  Go to the park.  Get on your bike and head towards the park.  Stop by the swings or play a game of kickball or football with your friends.  All of that running around is great emotional release.

8.  Meditate.  Be still for five or more minutes.  Focus on your breath and nothing else.  Allow a sense of deep peace wash over you.

9.  Yoga.  Combine yoga with deep breathing exercises to release your emotions.  Stretch your muscles and release your emotions as you do.

Teens release your emotions today so they don't show up in your body tomorrow.  That sore throat you have or aching muscles could be the result of the emotional stress that you're under.  Relax and know that it will be all right.  Love yourself and love will surround you!

WASHINGTON (Reuters) – "U.S. children eat an average three snacks a day on top of three regular meals, a finding that could explain why the childhood obesity rate has risen to more than 16 percent, researchers said on Tuesday.  Children snack so often that they are "moving toward constant eating," Carmen Piernas and Barry Popkin of the University of North Carolina reported."  The report will fuel President Obama's fight on childhood obesity. Read more about snacking and constant eating in this article.

More than 27 percent of calories kids eat come from snacks. Holy cow!  Teens it seems some of you are eating three snacks per day!  Salty snacks and candy are eaten the most.  Did you know that the caloric intake of children has increased by 113 calories per day from 1977 to 2006?  This is a huge jump!

What's this:  Snacks are foods eaten outside of regular meals. 

Some teens eat because they're bored.  Are you one of them?  Others are emotional eaters meaning you eat when you're feeling happy or sad.  Do you eat when you're feeling blue?  What are you eating?  Fast food?  Sweets?  Do you drink soda?  Evaluating what you eat will help you locate the unhealthy choices you're making or being made for you.

Tips to curbing your appetite

1.  Don't watch TV and eat at the same time.
2.  Eat slow and put your fork down.
3.  Savor your food; chew 20 times.
4.  Drink plenty of water.
5.  Chew sugar free gum.
6.  Eat foods that are in fiber.
7.  Carry healthy snacks with you such as nuts, granola, peanut butter, trail mix, and other nutritious snacks.
8.  Eat a well-balanced breakfast.

Teens, studies have shown that if you're obese now chances are you'll be obese as an adult.  You can develop chronic illnesses such as heart disease, cancer, and diabetes at an early age.  This is no way to live.  Your teen years are supposed to be fun not riddled with adult diseases.

You can improve your nutritional standards by asking mom and dad to purchase fresh fruits and vegetables.  Organic is the best.  Don't forget to get plenty of exercise and drink water instead of soda!

Unfortunately, teens deal with more than peer pressure these days.  They are subjected to horrific crimes such as a gunman or students opening fire on them before, during, or after school.  How do you cope with this?  Schools provide counseling for teens but it still doesn't make it easy to sleep at night.

Years ago teens never worried that much about going to school.  Fights did break out but it was never to the magnitude that it is today.  Kids were known to bring chains and switchblades to school.  Today, guns are brought onto school property which can alter your life in an instance. 

It's scary to think that a fellow student would want to do harm to his peers.  God only knows why a teen would want to harm others.  There's usually a "root cause" such as bullying, abuse at home, or some other issue that drives a teen to take drastic measures.

Tip:  Most teens say stuff they don't mean -- it's a way to vent emotions.  However, there could be some truth to what someone's says. 

When you're at school be aware of your surroundings.  Know where the exits are and get out.  Don't try to be a hero!  If you overhear a conversation about what can be a potential dangerous situation, tell a teacher or counselor.  It's better to be safe than sorry. 

Going to school these days can take a toll on you mentally, emotionally, and physically.  It's bad enough that you have peer pressure and are stressed about keeping up the grades; you shouldn't have to worry if someone is going to bring a gun to school. 

Do your best not to worry about whether or not someone is bringing a gun to school.  Remember you can't control what someone else does; you can only control what you do.  Be the best teen you can be and keep your chin up!

Teens love to spend money!  If you're lucky, you'll receive cash for your birthday, report card, as an allowance, or for a holiday gift.  To ensure that you always have money, you can get an after school job.  This way you can buy whatever you need or want without having to ask mom or dad.

Given the recent economic client, teens are competing with experienced workers for jobs.  Don't fret because you can still find income opportunities if you know where to look and how to approach a hiring manager.

Note:  Having a job means you'll can benefit from time management skills.  You'll have to do homework after work or get up early to finish it.  Create a schedule for yourself.  This way you'll know what days you work and make sure you complete all of your assignments.  Use study halls to your advantage.  If you're lucky, you'll be able to get a pass to the library or computer room to do whatever research you need to do for assignments.

Tips to finding income opportunities

1.  Read the classified section of your local newspaper.  There are plenty of jobs listed in the newspaper.  Working at a job will give you extra cash and perhaps "awaken" the entrepreneur in you.  When you graduate from high school you may opt to begin your own business versus working for someone else.  Speak to local entrepreneurs and discover how they got started and how they can help you!

2.  Ask your friends who have jobs if there are openings where they work.  Here's a tip:  word-of-mouth and networking are the best ways to find employment.  Most companies will not post their job openings because they rely on referrals from their employees or work with a recruiting agency.

3.  Find a passive income stream.  Let's say you're a teen author.  You can self-publish your book and create other merchandise around it such as CDs, DVDs, t-shirts, and other items.  Mom and dad can help you with this if your school or community doesn't have a "young entrepreneur program."

4.  Attend job fairs.  Believe it or not, there are some job fairs for teens.  Bring your resume and smile with you!  Make sure you dress up.  You don't have to wear a suit, but don't dress in t-shirt and jeans.  Make sure you know something about the companies you want to work for.  Employers like people who know their business.

5.  Create a job.  You can babysit, shovel snow, landscape, paint, or put your technological skills to use by designing web sites.  Again, mom and dad can help you get started or perhaps your school has a program for teen entrepreneurs.

6.  Get involved in the family business.  Ok, a funeral home may not be your ideal business, but you could get involved and earn cash along the way.  Who knows, one day you may decide to run the business.  In the mean time, offer to take out the trash, open the mail, do some light bookkeeping, or whatever else your family can use.  You'll be able to apply the business skills you learn today to whatever you do in the future.

Teens earn money now to save and or buy whatever it is you'd like.  Perhaps you want a car but mom and dad expect you to pay the insurance. Having an after school job will take care of the insurance and gas!  If you want a cell phone, an after school job can pay for that as well.

Earning income as a teen will teach you money management.  Make sure you put money aside for education, giving, financial freedom, and long-term spending.  Read my articles in the Money Management section to learn more about this subject.  It's best to develop money management skills today because it will prepare you for the future.

Teens your hormones are probably raging every second.  This is normal.  It's the process of life.  You start out as a baby, become a toddler, move into pre-teen, hit the teen years, and then become an adult.  The key to handling your teen years is to get a control over your emotions and hormones as best as you can.  This sounds easier said than done.

Your emotions can go from 0 to 60 in less than 2.5 seconds!  Relax, this is normal.  However, getting a grip on your emotions will help you to experience a happier, relaxed life. Remember don't stuff your emotions because this will make matters worse.

Teens, when you grow up you'll experience changes in your body.  This means your hormones will take over for some time to help your body grow.  You'll have feelings that you never felt before and that's all right.  There's no reason to be afraid.  Everyone has gone through the teen years and survived and so will you.

Tips to dealing with your hormones

1.  Don't give into temptation.  You may be tempted to have pre-marital sex, but the consequence will appear 9 months later in the form of a baby.  Ready my blog about teen pregnancy before you do anything rash.

2.  Meditate.  It's not for monks or new-age people.  Meditation can help calm your body, mind, and spirit.  You'll feel more relaxed and at peace.

3.  Workout.  There's nothing like a good workout to release those raging hormones.  Take up kick boxing, Karate, running, hiking, or yoga.

4.  Get in touch with your creativity.  Use your imagination to paint, draw, write, and design.  You can dance and act.  Use your creativity to channel your hormones and emotions.  You'd be surprised at what you'll create.

5.  Deep breathing techniques.  The next time you're about to "fly off the handle," pause, count to 10, and take 10 deep breaths.  Deep breathing will calm you down and it keeps you in check.

Your raging hormones will cause you to have mood swings.  One minute you'll be sweet as pie and the next minute you'll be on fire.  Take it all in stride.  Feel your feelings and don't over analyze them.  Avoid doing anything rash. 

Teens your body's changing and you're not sure what's happening.  All of a sudden you're interested in boys or girls and you don't know why.  This is apart of growing up.  It happened to your parents and it's happening to you.  That's the cycle of life!  Just remember to pause and think before you act!

Many teens plop themselves in front of the TV or computer and settle in for hours.  You know who you are!  You sit in front of the TV or computer and play video games or watch your favorite shows and movies.  This is not healthy and it stifles your imagination.

It's no mystery that many teens are overweight or obese.  Are you one of them?  Diet and exercise play a part as does mom and dad.  If you're eating fast food seven days a week, you'll pack on the pounds.  All of that grease is not good for you or anyone for that matter.  Tell mom and dad that you want to eat healthy foods such as fresh fruits, vegetables, nuts, and lean meats.  You could be an inspiration to your family

Teens your imagination is a wonderful gift.  When was the last time you allowed your mind to wander?  When was the last time you spent time day dreaming?  Chances are you haven't used your imagination or creativity in quite some time.  Instead of playing a video game, why not create a video game?  Hey, if you enjoy playing them you may as well think about a career as a game designer.  You could get paid to design and play video games.  How cool is that?

Use your imagination to get your butt off of the couch and get some exercise.  You could run, jump rope, lift weights, go to the playground and run around, play sports, jump up and down, dance, and do many other activities to get your heart rate up and the weight off of your body.  It's a win-win situation!

If you're a teen who hasn't been outside in awhile, get out there and enjoy the sunshine and nature.  If you haven't used your imagination in some time, get a pad of paper and allow your mind to wander.  What comes to your mind?  Don't fight it -- just go with it.  Draw, write, or doodle whatever comes to your mind.  It may not make sense to you and that's all right.  The point is to get off of your butt, get moving, and use your imagination today because tomorrow it may not be there!

Both my niece (16 years-old) and nephew (13 years-old) have lost a lot of friends in the past couple of years.  Yesterday, my mom informed me that my niece lost a friend to open heart surgery; she became sick and died.  My nephew lost a friend who was cleaning his rifle -- it went off and killed him.  Why a 13 year-old was cleaning a rifle is beyond me.  Why he was handling a rifle without parental supervision is also beyond me.

It's bad enough teens must deal with the death of loved ones but to lose your friends is another situation.  How do you cope when you lose someone who's not only your own age, but your friend?  Teens probably have many questions about "why" their friend had to die.  When it's a senseless death like a self-inflicted gunshot, it only makes matters worse.

Tips to coping with death

1.  Grieve.  Make sure you take time to grieve for your friend.  There is no time limit on grief.  You'll know when you've finished grieving for your friend.  Remember, your friend is not really gone.  They may be physically gone, but spiritually they live on somewhere else.
2.  Remember the good times.  To help you cope with the death of your friend, remember how much fun they were -- this will make you smile.  They'd want you to be happy, it's ok to laugh and smile when you remember your friend.
3.  Let the tears flow.  Whenever you feel like crying, just do it.  Yes, guys it's all right for you to cry.  This is a great way to release and purge your emotions.
4.  Workout your emotions.  If you have a lot of anger, release your intense emotions by working out.  Kick boxing, karate, hiking, running, yoga, or whatever you like will help you heal.  It's cathartic to release your emotions.  Let all your emotions out in a healthy way.
5.  Journal.  Writing your thoughts and articulating your feelings in a journal can be therapeutic.  Hold nothing back when you journal -- let it all out.  You can draw and write in your journal to express your emotions about your friend's death.

Life doesn't always make sense.  Sometimes events occur that are beyond our control.  You can only control you react situations.  When you lose a friend you'll go through the grieving process which includes:  denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.  Allow the process to occur because you'll heal from your friend's death.  Your emotions will eat you alive if you don't grieve.  Your body can manifest your emotions with a dis-ease.  This is no way to grieve for your friend.

Coping with teen death is not easy for anyone.  Parents lose a child and you lose a best friend.  No, it doesn't make any sense, but that's life.  Make sure you live each day to the fullest because you never know what lies around the corner.

If you're a fan of soap operas like General Hospital, MTV shows like Real World and Jersey Shore, or the CW's Gossip Girl and Beverly Hills 90210 then you've probably watched episodes where a teen was in an abusive relationship. Unfortunately, it's usually a teen girl who's in the relationship.  Luckily, the actress walks away at the end of the day.  In real life the outcome can be deadly.

No one has to suffer from abuse -- it's not love.  Most teen girls stay in abusive relationships because they have low self-esteem and self-confidence.  They believe no other guy will want to date them.  This is psychological bullsh** and a bully tactic.  Avoid falling for it at all cost!

Some teen girls mirror what they see at home.  If mom's in a horrible relationship, you may believe that's the way relationships work.  Teen boys and girls who see parents beat each other up receive the impression that this is the way relationships are.  You are dead wrong!  If you love someone, you would not beat or hit them.  If you lose control, you can end up doing serious damage, not to mention jail time!

Any guy who tells you "he's sorry or it won't happen again" is lying.  Any girl who tells you "she's sorry or it won't happen again" is lying.  Of course, it's going to happen again.  The only way to prevent abuse is to runaway as fast as you can. 

Being in a relationship is not worth it if your boyfriend or girlfriend has major issues.  The only way a person can change is if he or she wants to and seeks professional help.  Chances are an abuser was or is abused.  That's usually how it happens.

Teen girls and boys respect you.  By allowing someone to abuse you sends the message "it's all right, I deserve this because I'm not worthy of love."  This is so untrue.  Everyone deserves love and to be treated with respect.  But you must love and respect yourself first before anyone else will.

The worst mistake is to say you deserve the abuse.  Many teen girls fall into this trap.  They make excuses for their boyfriends such as "he told me he was in a bad mood or I spoke to another guy whom I know he doesn't like."  First of all, who cares if he's in a bad mood?  Second of all, you're a teen; you can speak to whomever you'd like.  Who says you can't speak to other guys?  Any guy who tells you not to speak to other guys has control and possession issues.  These can be dangerous.  It's best to end the relationship before it gets out of hand.

Teen girls and boys don't be in a hurry to grow up!  There isn't a rule that says you must date or be exclusive with one person.  This doesn't mean to be promiscuous, it means you have options.  Take your time to get to know someone before you become exclusive.  In fact, get to know yourself first before you begin dating.  Write down the qualities you'd like in boyfriend or girlfriend.  You'll need to become that person before you'll attract him or her into your life.  Take your time because the teens years go by fast -- enjoy them while you can!

Judgment is like a boomerang -- it will come back and smack you in the face!  When you judge someone, you're projecting your shadow onto that person.  If you feel someone is arrogant, look deep inside to find out where you've
been or act arrogant.  The answers may surprise you.

When you "judge" someone, there's something that resonates with you on a deeper level.  Why judge someone?  What do you get out of it?  Get to the root cause of the judgment and clear the air.  You may judge without even knowing it. 

Look at the patterns that repeat in your life.  You may judge out of frustration that you're experiencing in your life.  Take a breather and look at what is really bothering you.  Remember, it's easier to take our frustrations out
on others than looking at ourselves in the mirror.

Why you may judge

1.  Frustrated in your life.
2.  Disappointed with your life.
3.  Jealous of others.
4.  Feeling stuck in your life.
5.  You absorb other peoples' energies without even knowing it.

For those who are empathetic and absorb others energy (Indigo children) may find themselves judging others for no apparent reason.  It would be good for you to "shield" yourself before you leave the house.  You could say a prayer of protection or send "love" to the people and place you'll be.

Judging others is a waste of time and energy.  You could be pursuing an activity or career that you love.  The next time you find yourself judging another, step back, take a deep breath, and ask yourself "why" you're doing it.  The answers may not be the ones you want, but they'll help you to move forward in your life.  The sooner you clear the air, the better!